


Affably Evil

by Sarah1281



Series: Apathetic Revan gets a surprising amount done [3]
Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-18 15:28:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 50,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4711022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah1281/pseuds/Sarah1281
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a twist of fate, Malak is captured instead of Revan. The galaxy is sure the Sith's lack of activity after this just means Revan's planning something big but really he just can't be bothered to lead. He does, however, have a habit of meeting a certain new Jedi Alek wherever he happens to go. Not that Alek believes a word of what Revan says.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So Not My Problem characterizations.

"Revan, what are you doing?" Malak demanded.

Revan looked up from the game of pazaak he was clearly playing with one of his men. "Is that a rhetorical question? I feel like that's a rhetorical question."

"Then why would you answer it?" Malak asked.

Revan shrugged. "Ignoring you seemed rude?"

"You're supposed to be on your own ship," Malak said. "You know that the Jedi are coming to ambush you."

"Which is why I'm here," Revan said. "I kind of don't want to get ambushed. It kind of sounds like it would be awful. Why are we even still hanging around and not going somewhere where nobody is trying to ambush us, again?"

Malak sighed. "Because, Revan, Bastila Shan will be with the Jedi."

"Who?" Revan asked blankly.

Malak took a moment to respond to that. "You can't not know who that is. You just can't. I don't believe that."

"Believe whatever you want," Revan said indifferently.

"We are going to bait the trap and take out the Republic's only hope," Malak declared grandly. "It's going to cement our victory."

"That sounds…I don't know, actually," Revan admitted. He glanced over at the woman he was playing cards with. "Devan, would us winning create more work or less work for me?"

"I'm sure I don't know, my lord," she said. "On the one hand the war would be over but on the other you would have to rule and stop everything from falling apart when people get bored and start betraying each other. And didn't you say something about the True Sith?"

"Yeah, they were awful," Revan said. "But how much of that would actually be work I had to do and how much would Malak do while everyone acted like I did it?"

Devan looked carefully at Malak. "I think that depends very much on him and you."

Malak's hands clenched. "One thing you need to do, right now, is get back to your ship and deal with those Jedi."

"I would love to, Malak, I really would except that actually I wouldn't because that sounds terrible," Revan said.

"No one is asking for you to enjoy this, Revan, just to do it!"

"And thank goodness for that but I'm still not really feeling it," Revan said. "Why should I have to go and kill or capture or whatever all those Jedi? I don't even know who this Bastila is and you're the one who put us in this ambush."

Malak's eye twitched. "Because you're the one they really want! They know your power as a symbol and everyone loves you better anyway and they all think that you do all the work even though by the time I've literally annoyed you into doing it it would have just been so much easier to do it myself!"

Revan nodded. "See, that right there is exactly what I've been going for and yet it doesn't seem to actually stop you from making me do things."

"Some things, perhaps," Malak grudgingly admitted. "But it's the principle of the thing at this point."

Revan laughed. "Sith with principles."

Malak glanced at a clock. "I do not know precisely when they will arrive and they will be cloaking their presence but it should be soon and we really do not have time to argue!"

"That's a shame," Revan said. "I have all the time in the world. Or you could always go do it instead."

"You want me to go to your ambush?"

"It's not really my ambush," Revan said persuasively. "You set it all up, you care about it. They may want to go after me but that just means they'll go to my ship. What are they going to do, just turn around and leave when they find you instead of me? Would you really just let them go?"

Malak stared at Revan for a long moment, clearly trying to decide if Revan was anywhere near prepared to actually go over to his own ship. Finally, he turned stiffly. "Fine. I'll do it. But don't think we won't be having words when I get back."

"We're 'having words' right now," Revan pointed out.

"Don't be cute."

"I really can't help that," Revan protested. "I am adorable and everyone knows it."

"Actually, my lord, none of us know it because you won't take off your mask and full-body robes," Devan spoke up.

"Well, I, uh," Revan floundered for a moment. "You'll just have to take my word for it then!"

"You're kind of a Sith," she said.

"And so are you!"

Malak shook his head in disgust and left, his robes swishing melodramatically behind him.

"I don't know if you're aware of this, my lord, but Lord Malak is going to try and kill you," Devan warned him.

"Don't be ridiculous, why would he do that?" Revan asked.

"He's a Sith."

"We're all Sith," Revan said.

"Look, I know you want to be all inclusive or whatever but we're only kind of Sith. Most of us aren't actually evil and none of us have the Force," Devan said. "But aren't the apprentices supposed to betray the masters?"

"Why would Malak do that?" Revan asked, tilting his head quizzically. "I mostly stay out of his way. It's only when he drags me into things that I even contribute."

"We know," Devan said, looking to her fellow crewmembers for support. Several of them nodded. "But given that you get all the credit and Lord Malak really runs things and everyone thinks you do…it would try the patience of a Jedi and Lord Malak is hardly one of those anymore."

"It's not like he didn't know what he was getting into," Revan said defensively. "And it's not like I volunteered for this! He really has no business being annoyed with me."

"That…won't save your life," Devan said awkwardly.

"Malak can't defeat me," Revan said confidently. "If he could and I was still the nominal leader it might be the final insult. But he can't and he knows he can't and so I'll be fine. But even if he could, why would any of you care? Things wouldn't change all that much without me. Except maybe Malak's blood pressure would go down. Honestly, I'm getting really concerned about him."

"He's trying to kill you," she repeated.

He shrugged. "So maybe I'm a better person than him. Actually, just looking at the things he's done and the things I've done I probably have him beat by default. But why are you even concerned anyway?"

"You're less likely to murder us," another crew member offered.

"And we all like you better," Saul Karath said. "I mean, Lord Malak may have recruited me and he's a strong leader but come on."

"Does everyone in this room like me better than him?" Revan asked incredulously.

Everyone raised their hands.

"Try the whole ship," Devan said. "And probably the whole army."

"Maybe there is some sort of reason he might want me dead after all," Revan said thoughtfully.

Hours passed and Revan kept himself amused as best he could until finally the Jedi showed up.

"This should be good," Revan said. "Oh wait, no it won't be. Because I can't see anything. Actually, this is really lame."

"You can at least sense it through the Force," the man Revan had just finished beating at Pazaak said.

"That only tells me who is alive or wounded or whatever, Bryen," Revan said. "And keeping track of all that, while it would technically tell me what was going on, is rather dull and can sometimes give you a headache if you're looking at that while your eyes are open."

"Then…why don't you close them, my lord?" Bryen suggested awkwardly.

"Because I don't feel like it," Revan said, crossing his arms.

"You never feel like anything," Bryen said.

"That's not true," Revan said. "I felt like playing pazaak and now I feel like showing off."

"That's rather out of character," Bryen said.

"Not if I'm doing it it's not," Revan said. "Anything that I do, as Revan, is automatically in character no matter how inconsistent it may be from my usual behavior."

Bryen waved a hand. "By all means, then."

Revan took a coin out of his robes and held it up for everyone to see. He switched on his lightsaber. "So watch this." He tossed the coin in the air and batted it with the lightsaber.

"How did that not destroy your coin?" Bryen asked curiously, watching the coin bounce around the room.

"Safety regulations," Revan explained. "Without them, merely touching a lightsaber is enough to cauterize your flesh. Kind of a drag."

"Why do Sith adhere to safety regulations?" Bryen wondered.

"Because I am in charge and I am not that reckless," Revan said.

The coin chose precisely that moment to land on the firing controls and launched an attack on Revan's ship.

There was a stunned silence as the ship was hit hard.

"Is…what happened?" Bryen asked finally.

Revan was staring open-mouthed in horror, not that anyone could tell. "R4!"

\----

Alek Squinquargesimus was not having a great day.

He hadn't been having a great couple of days, actually, ever since the Endar Spire had crashed onto Sith-occupied Taris. This day was a little less bleak than the ones before it because Bastila was back, even if she didn't trust him and she and Carth wouldn't stop bickering. Carth also didn't trust him but Carth didn't trust anybody and it was just him that Bastila seemed to have some sort of issue with. A way off of this miserable little rock had even been presented to him but that was what led to this being not such a great day.

Apparently he needed to break into a heavily armed Sith base and steal the launch codes so he wouldn't get blown out of the sky trying to leave the planet. He only had himself, a Jedi, a wookie, a fourteen-year-old girl, and a Republic soldier on his side and the task was so daunting no one else was willing to do it even though they had far more firepower on their side. Wookies could be intimidating and he'd never want to mess with a Jedi but surely waves of mercenaries would be more of a threat. At least he'd be getting a protocol droid (that he'd have to pay for with his very limited funds) that hopefully had some sort of weaponry to help out.

Canderous had left half an hour ago but Alek hadn't been able to bring himself to go just yet and had ordered a drink to help him endure the sheer impossibility of his situation. He really couldn't afford to waste time, though, because the Sith were looking for Bastila even now and the longer they delayed the better the odds were that they would be caught.

He was almost to the door when an incredulous voice rang out behind him.

"Malak?"

He automatically turned around even though that wasn't exactly his name and he had no reason to believe whoever it was was even talking to him.

But sure enough, the man near the pazaak games was staring straight at him. He was also wearing most of a Sith uniform (just not the helmet) so this was definitely not good.

"I'm sorry," Alek said. "My name isn't Malak. It's Alek."

The man gave him a deeply unimpressed look and stalked over to him. "Alek… Squinquargesimus?"

Alek automatically tensed.

The man rolled his eyes. "Really? Really? Just…really?"

"I…don't know what you mean," Alek said carefully. "Is my name funny or something?"

"Maybe not funny," the man told him. "I just can't even believe that they would do that."

"Who would do what?"

"The Jedi," the man said. "I can't believe they'd call you that or that you'd even be here. You must have been on the Endar Spire but I can't even begin to understand why."

Alek swallowed. "Look, I don't know who you are or why you think the Jedi named me because, I assure you, like most of the galaxy I was not named by them but I-"

"Yes you were," the man interrupted. "Well, sort of. My name is Revan."

Alek stared at him. "So…you're Revan and you think I'm Malak? Okay then…"

Revan, or whoever he really was, laughed. "Yes, I can understand how that might make me seem like a crazy person. But I never said I was that Revan. It's a big universe, you know. Plenty of Revans. Probably. Maybe less so being born now but the guy's not exactly universally reviled. Probably a few more Revans out there after certain people got the credit for ending the Mandalorian Wars. Far more credit than certain people deserved or wanted but they did have the brilliant idea to fight Mandalore in a one-on-one winner-take-all duel to just finally end the damn thing and stop having to be at war and stuff."

Alek stared at him cautiously. "Are you one of those conspiracy nuts?"

Revan laughed again. "Oh, yes. I am especially a believer in the conspiracy that the Force has it out for me and is conspiring with pretty much everyone to make me actually do things."

"I'm…just going to go," Alek said, backing away slightly.

"Oh, don't do that," Revan said. "Come on, I'll buy you a drink."

Alek considered that. This guy was clearly either unbalanced or playing a really weird joke but he did hate to turn down free things. Though this was a Sith. But maybe if he made sure not to do anything suspicious he wouldn't report him for anything and get them all caught. And he did kind of still need a drink after the bad news from Canderous.

"Okay," he agreed hesitantly.

Revan stepped up to the bar, placed an order, and followed Alek to a table with two glasses in his hands.

Alek took a cautious sip of his drink. "Corellian brandy. How did you know I'd like that?"

Revan made a face. "How about we just be glad that you do?"

That reminded him. "So you're saying that your name is Revan but you just happen to be a different Revan than that Revan?"

"I am not saying anything of the sort but do you really think that the nominal leader of the Sith Revan-"

"Nominal?"

"Would just happen to be hanging out at this bar?" Revan asked, ignoring the interruption. "And yes, my name is Revan. It's actually kind of a title, too, but that just made it all weird, you know? Like what if your name were Alek-"

"Which it is," Alek interrupted.

"And then one day you met this guy and he's all 'From now on you will be the Alek. You will be the Alekchist.' Although I suppose that is slightly more likely to happen if your name is Revan. I mean, seriously, what do you do? Because I kind of think that certain people would just nod, smile, and despair about the general stupidity of the galaxy and how bothersome it all is," Revan said.

"More conspiracy theories?" Alek asked. "Do all of your theories involve mass stupidity and ridiculous behavior?"

"You forgot about troublesome people," Revan said. "And yes."

"You don't seem offended I said your theories were ridiculous," Alek noted.

Revan shrugged. "It's not my fault everyone's acting like that. Why should I be offended?"

"So you say you're not really Revan."

Revan opened his mouth.

"Sorry, you are really Revan but not that Revan. No, wait, you won't even confirm you're not that Revan but we both know that you're not. Why call me Malak then? Am I that Malak? How do you explain my fully attached – and rather striking if you ask me – jaw?" Alek demanded.

"Well obviously the Jedi healed it somehow," Revan said, unconcerned.

"The Jedi can just regrow body parts like that?" Alek asked skeptically.

Revan shrugged again. "I'm sure I don't know but somebody must have and they seem like the safest bet. But I didn't actually say I thought you were that Malak."

"So you are – probably – not that Revan and you called out to me thinking I was a Malak but not that Malak?"

Revan sighed. "When you put it like that it sounds a little bit ridiculous."

"In my experience, when something sounds ridiculous it's usually because it is," Alek said.

"And in my experience, literally anything can be made to sound ridiculous depending on how you phrase it," Revan said. "All that happened was I saw you leaving, thought you looked like someone I know, and suddenly we're here."

"You left out quite a few things including you offering to buy me a drink after I corrected your misunderstanding and was going to leave."

Revan rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Ma-Alek, I figured I didn't literally need to recap everything! You were right there!"

"I feel like I never denied being aboard that one ship you mentioned, the Republic one," Alek said after a moment. "In my defense, I was distracted by all the rest of the very strange things you were saying."

"So…"

"So what?" Alek asked, confused.

"Are you going to deny that now or…?"

"Oh, right. I absolutely deny it. I have no affiliation with the Republic and I'm not just saying that because you're obviously a Sith," Alek said.

"What?" Revan asked, frowning.

Alek gestured to Revan's uniform.

Revan laughed. "Oh that. Well I'm not….that is to say…this uniform isn't exactly mine. Well, I mean, it is and also kind of because…but never mind that, really! This isn't a uniform I wear because it's part of my job or anything! I…don't think I technically have a job because I'm certainly not drawing a salary from it and I don't have a boss or actually anyone I'm accountable to come to think of it. But I make do."

"If you're not a Sith then why are you wearing a Sith uniform?" Alek asked skeptically.

"I didn't say I wasn't a Sith," Revan said.

Alek raised his eyebrows. "So you are one. But it's not your uniform. Except it kind of is."

"I didn't say that either," Revan said. "Well, except for that last part. That's true. In a manner of speaking."

Alek threw his hands in the air. "Force, man, do you have something against giving out anything conclusive about yourself?"

Revan started to answer then stopped and smiled. "Kind of. 'Force'? Isn't that a bit of a strange ejaculation to use? If you aren't a Jedi or a Sith, that is. A proper Force-using Sith."

"Nothing 'proper' about Sith if you ask me," Alek said automatically. He coughed. "I mean, well…"

"I know what you mean," Revan said, looking amused.

"I don't know, it just seemed appropriate," Alek said. "I didn't give it much thought."

"No, I don't imagine you did," Revan said thoughtfully. "Anyway, to answer your question-"

"I very much doubt that," Alek interrupted.

"I am wearing this uniform because it is fabulous and it makes me look fabulous and that's really all the justification I need."

"But won't you get in trouble?" Alek asked. "I mean, the Sith are kind of occupying this planet and they're a military force. You can't just steal their uniforms and wear them because you think you look good in them."

"I know I look good in them," Revan said. "And you'll find that I am absolutely capable of doing whatever I want when I set my mind to it. Which isn't often, admittedly, but I do so love these uniforms."

"Seriously, Revan, the Sith are serious business," Alek told him earnestly. Revan was kind of a weird guy but he seemed harmless and Alek kind of liked him so he'd hate to see anything bad happen to him. "Just because they haven't done much that we can see since the death of Darth Malak doesn't mean that we can underestimate them! Everyone knows they're just trying to lull us into a false sense of security and then they'll be back with something major."

"Do they now," Revan said, a strange look on his face. "And by all means tell me more about Malak's death."

Alek frowned. "That happened months ago. Did you somehow not hear about it?"

Revan sighed and shook his head. "Oh, never mind. I don't actually believe you about not being – sort of – with the Republic, you know. Though I really don't understand why you would and I doubt you're going to tell me given the very valid reasons you have for concealing your Republic connections. But what are you doing here, anyway? You really should try to get off-planet, you know. Technically there's a war going on or something and while I want nothing to do with it, it would probably be best for you if you weren't captured."

"I would like to reiterate once more that I am absolutely not with the Republic," Alek said, raising his voice a little.

Revan rolled his eyes. "Look at me."

Alek met Revan's eyes, wondering what he was going to say.

"Tell me what's going on."

"I need to get off planet but there's this blockade set up and this mercenary offered me a way off this planet but I have to break into the Sith base to get the launch codes so I'm not shot out of the sky," Alek replied.

Revan looked horrified.

"What?" Alek asked defensively. "That's not my idea of a good time either but I don't exactly have a choice here."

"Think of all the mess it will cause!"

"I really need to get off this planet," Alek said.

Revan shook his head and pulled out his datapad. "You know what? Here. Just look at this."

Alek took the datapad and glanced at it. His eyes widened. "Is that…?"

"Yep. The launch codes to getting off this planet."

"Where did you even get these?"

Revan gave him a look. "Don't ask stupid questions. And don't go breaking into Sith bases either! Honestly, that's the last thing anyone needs. Just…go."

"I…guess I should thank you," Alek said awkwardly.

"Don't put yourself out," Revan said. "Anyway, I should go. Make sure to tell me how things went the next time I see you."

Alek blinked. "Next time? Why would we see each other again?"

Revan just laughed and walked off.

"I…what…that was a legitimate question, you know!"


	2. Chapter 2

_Someone who looked sort of like him stood in front of some ancient ruins. "Are you really sure this is a good idea, Revan? I mean, the Jedi are already annoyed enough that we ran off to go lead the Republic fleet, took a good portion of the Order with us, and then disappeared for months on end. If we go in here, that might be the straw that broke the bantha's back. We might never be able to go back. Ever."_

_This must be Malak then. Or at least Alek's idea of what Malak looked like because he honestly couldn't remember ever having seen an image of him. This version had a jaw, though. This was probably just because that other Revan had called him Malak._

_"Then let's not go in," Revan suggested, his voice sounding muffled behind the cloak and mask he was wearing. "I don't really care either way but I need to get to the Cantina by six because I've got a date…"_

_That was…ridiculously irresponsible. If he didn't care enough one way or another he really shouldn't be breaking important Jedi taboos._

_"You're not supposed to try and talk me out of this!" Malak exclaimed, throwing up his hands in frustration. "You're supposed to be assuaging my doubts!"_

_"Oh," Revan said. "How about 'don't be silly, Malak, the Jedi won't give a damn that we're breaking all of their most sacred tenants left and right and they'll gladly welcome us back with open arms.'"_

_"It would help if you could at least try to be convincing," Malak critiqued, rolling his eyes._

_Revan was unrepentant. "Beggars can't be choosers. And that would sound a lot more convincing if this mask didn't prevent eye contact…"_

_"Why are you wearing that ridiculous get-up anyway?" Malak demanded. "You can't even see if you're a man or a woman."_

_"I have to wear this," Revan insisted. "Do you know how hard it is to get a date if the girl knows you could have her tortured and killed if it doesn't go well?"_

_"Ladies and gentleman: the Savior of the Republic," Malak said sardonically. Alek felt the same way. This Revan sounded just like the Revan he had met. And now apparently he was having dreams about the two of them. That was a little worrying._

_"Look, I didn't even want to be here. You're the one who said that this was a good idea so it's unreasonable to expect me to convince you to go through with this," Revan declared, crossing his arms._

_"You think it's a good idea, too," Malak claimed, finally making his choice and walking through the doorway. "You just didn't want to put forth the effort to do it so it was up to me to convince you…again! I swear, without me you'd never get anything done."_

_"And I would be much happier for it," Revan noted as he followed his friend into the darkness. "Which really makes me wonder why I keep you around."_

_"Because it would be too troublesome to make me leave?" Malak suggested as their voices faded away._

_\----_

_"Oh come on!" an older man said as a star map closed right as he came into view. "I wanted to see if I could see my house!"_

_"You could barely even see Kashyyyk," Malak told him._

_"Which is my home," Jolee said. "And that's practically the same as a house, right?"_

_"I'm pretty sure it's not," Revan said._

_"You're claiming an entire planet as your home?" Malak asked skeptically._

_"Jolee is a friend to all," Jolee claimed._

_"Look, Jolee, if you wanted to see the star map you really shouldn't have stopped to take so many rest breaks," Revan said unsympathetically._

_"It wasn't a rest break! I was talking to your droid!"_

_"You should have talked to him later then. Because, believe me, I have no intention of opening this thing up again."_

_"I caught up, didn't I?" Jolee asked rhetorically._

_"He barely even agreed to do it the first time," Malak said._

_"So why did he?"_

_"Malak gave terrible answers," Revan replied._

_"They were NOT terrible," Malak protested. "They just weren't evil. So, technically, Revan gave the terrible answers and I didn't."_

_"And my terrible answers got us past the security."_

_"Why are you even chasing down old star maps anyway?" Jolee asked curiously._

_Revan cocked his head. "I don't even remember."_

_"I know that you do," Malak said._

_"Good for you," Revan said. "Doesn't actually mean I do."_

_"Loyal assertion: My master knows everything that he needs to and if he says he doesn't know why we are on this trip then he does not know, Meatbag."_

_Malak shot a betrayed look at Revan. "Meatbag, Revan? Seriously?"_

_"What? Why are you mad at me?" Revan asked. "HK is the one who said it."_

_"Proud statement: I did, in fact, say it and I am so pleased to be able to amuse you so, master."_

_"You're the one who programmed him so you must have programmed him in a way that led to his thinking of organics as meatbags," Malak said._

_"Okay, look, first of all he's an assassin droid so I didn't exactly need him looking to build schools," Revan said. "And secondly, for all we know all droids view organics that way and you just haven't asked all of them."_

_"Nor will I because, knowing you, if they say something like that you will also reprogram them to only ever do that," Malak said._

_"I am surprised you think that I would bother doing that."_

_"These are droids, Revan," Malak said._

_Revan laughed. "And that is also true. But you really can't blame me. It's kind of hilarious."_

_"It really isn't."_

_"You're just sore because you're the original meatbag."_

_"He thinks you're a meatbag too, you know," Malak said._

_"Shocked protestation: I would NEVER!"_

_"Why do you even need an assassin droid anyway?" Jolee wondered._

_Revan shrugged. "Awesome factor?"_

_"Also it saves him having to kill people if he can just get his psychotic bloodthirsty droid to do it," Malak said._

_"But…killing people is really easy for Force users," Jolee said. "You just wave your hand at them and they usually die."_

_"Every time an enemy comes at him and someone else isn't there to kill it for him, Revan constantly has to reevaluate whether living is worth expending the effort to wave his hand and kill them," Malak said seriously._

_Revan rolled his eyes. "Oh shut up." He started to walk away._

_"Wait, you're leaving already?" Jolee asked, surprised._

_"Well, yeah," Revan said. "Did you think we had all the time in the world to hang around down here?"_

_"Based on what I've seen, yes, actually," Jolee said. "But I just mean…you're on some weird quest to do something weird with star maps and it took some doing even getting to this one, not to mention those questions you apparently had to answer to get it to open. Aren't you going to, I don't know, make a copy of the data so if something happens you won't have to come all the way back here?"_

_Revan thought about it. "No."_

_"Seriously? It would take like two seconds."_

_"You only want to see the star map," Revan said. "You can open that on your own time. Might give you something to do down here anyway."_

_Jolee looked over at Malak._

_"We're not just going to lose the data," Malak said. "I got a copy of it and it's backed up and we're not going to even need it once we find what we came here to find."_

_"Suit yourself," Jolee said, sighing. "But if I see either one of you back here again for the star map then I'm warning you now I'm going to be very obnoxious about it."_

_"Thanks for the warning but I think we all know that if Revan and I do have to come back you won't be anywhere near as obnoxious as he'll be about it."_

\----

Bastila and the Jedi Council, who were only going by Bastila's account, believed these strange dreams he kept having were visions. And it wasn't like it was completely impossible for him and Malak to share such a strong physical resemblance so that was certainly possible. But neither of them really knew what to make of the Revan they saw portrayed. Well, Alek might have understood a little bit better because this was basically the Revan he had met on Taris transposed into the role of the actual Sith Lord Revan. He didn't really get why the Force would do that but maybe it was half-Force, half-dream. Either way, he wasn't exactly looking to explain it.

Strange dreams aside, Alek had mostly forgotten about the strange encounter he had with the man who wouldn't even deny being the Dark Lord of the Sith but when he saw him sitting alone on one of the walkways in the wookie village, his feet swinging over the edge, it all came back to him.

"You're alive!" Alek blurted.

"So are you, Malak," Revan said, looking bemused. "Was there any doubt that I was alive or…?"

"Again with the Malak?" Alek asked, annoyed, as he dropped down next to him.

"Hey, it's been awhile since I last saw you," Revan said.

"And you called me Malak that time, too."

"And Alek, Malak…it's practically the same thing, you know. You just add an M. And…probably spell it differently. But saying it it's the same."

"How would you like if it I started calling you Evan?" Alek demanded.

Revan shrugged. "Doubt I'd care. But you'd have to call me Mrevan for it to really be the same."

"No, I wouldn't," Alek said. "You're just nit-picking."

Revan shrugged again. "Mine to do. Now why did you think I was dead?"

"Well I didn't think you were dead, exactly," Alek said. "It's just that you were on Taris and Revan bombed it."

Revan rolled his eyes. "Yes, I've heard about that as well."

"What, you don't believe it?" Alek asked. "Because I was there and I assure you that it did happen."

"Oh, I know it happened. I just happen to think that Saul Karath bombed it because he was concerned about Bastila escaping," Revan said.

"What makes you so sure it wasn't actually the person in charge who was also there?" Alek asked.

Revan smiled wryly. "Call it a hunch. But the death toll really wasn't all that bad, you know. I mean, it was worse than if there had been no orbital bombardment but I've seen worse. They'll be fine. Probably hopelessly anti-Sith but some people just don't think about these things."

"We left before making sure," Alek said. "But that's good to hear. I was a little worried that all those people I had met and helped had met gruesome ends. And I'm glad to see you're alright, too."

Revan's smile widened. "Is that so? I'm glad to hear it."

"What are you doing on Kashyyyk anyway?"

"Would you believe that it was the will of the Force?" Revan asked.

Alek nodded. "Sure. But no matter what the Force might have wanted, you must have had some reason to come here as well."

"And I don't suppose you'll believe that I wanted to see you again?"

Alek laughed. "First of all, that would be kind of stalkerish since we only met once. And you'd also have to know I was coming here which would make it even worse."

"I did stop by and see an old friend while I was here," Revan admitted. "What about you?"

"I'm trying to find a way to deal with the Czerka slavers," Alek said. Which was true but not anywhere near all of it. But it wasn't like he could just go around telling people about the star maps.

"And that was exactly why you came here, I'm sure," Revan said sarcastically. "Are you still denying you're with the Republic?"

"I really wasn't with the Republic," Alek said. "And now I'm more with the Jedi than anything else."

He waited for Revan's reaction and it did not disappoint.

Revan immediately started choking. Alek moved forward to try and help but Revan waved him off. Once he had ahold of himself, he managed to ask, "Are you even kidding me? There's just…you have to be kidding me. Alek was one thing but this?"

"I know," Alek said. "They don't usually train adults but apparently they somehow missed me when I was younger-"

"Because that kind of thing happens all the time," Revan interrupted.

"And not only am I apparently very talented but they might be just a little bit desperate with this war going on."

"Oh, I'll say," Revan said. "Which is just really sad when you consider that the war has barely even been happening for the last few months."

"Don't tell me you're one of those people who really believes that just because the number of Sith attacks have gone way down lately means that we can stop worrying," Alek said. "It's so obvious that Revan is just trying to lull us into a false sense of security that it's not even funny."

Revan sighed. "Well, something's not funny at least. But I was more referring to the fact that, in addition to never taking anyone over six, the Jedi training kind of takes years. Years and years and years. In fact, Bastila – who I have recently learned is widely considered the Republic's only hope – is nineteen and she's still not really an official Jedi."

"How is she not an official Jedi?" Alek demanded. "She's the Republic's only hope!"

"The fact she is still considered this after recent events makes me weep for the state of the Republic and sort of understand why that whole 'conquering the Republic' thing even happened," Revan said.

Alek shook his head. "Oh yeah, you're not a Sith."

"I never said that," Revan reminded him.

"Are you seriously not even going to tell me anything about yourself?" Alek asked.

"You know plenty about me," Revan argued. "You know my name and what I look like and frankly that's more than most people get. But back to Bastila, she's a Padawan. That's an apprentice. I have so very many questions about why she's the one always travelling to the most important areas of fighting and why she's entrusted with…important missions…and she's not even a real Jedi yet."

"No one can help the fact she's the only one who can use Battle Meditation," Alek told him.

"Hardly the only one," Revan said. "But she's probably the best. But if she's not ready to be promoted maybe she should have a real Jedi travelling along with her. Especially since you're there."

"Hey," Alek said, offended. "Why would my presence mean she shouldn't be alone with me?"

"Well, you're rather…new," Revan said delicately. "Is she really ready to handle you on her own? I'm thinking not."

"Wait," Alek said, his eyes widening. "How did you even know Bastila was with me? And don't you dare say that you didn't until I just told you because you obviously had enough of a clue to say it in the first place."

"I hear things," Revan said simply.

"From who?"

"People," Revan said. "Things."

"That's really not an answer," Alek pointed out.

"It's the best answer you're going to get," Revan said.

"I'm not altogether convinced it's better than no answer at all," Alek said.

"And that's your problem. As is the fact that sending you two off alone with maybe some non-Jedi friends is a terrible idea."

"It's not just non-Jedi!" Alek protested. "We're traveling with another Jedi, her name is Juhani. And I'm pretty sure she's not a Padawan, either!"

"Juhani…" Revan tapped his chin. "Wasn't she that Cathar who got mad at her master and tried to kill her but didn't even bother to check and see if she was really dead or not before deciding she was super evil forever and running off like five miles from the Jedi Academy on Dantooine and setting up shop by making the Kath hounds slightly more aggressive than normal? Because if it was then I'm not feeling any better about any of this."

"Well nobody asked you to," Alek said archly. "The Jedi can't spare anyone else. It's a war, you know."

"They can have cannon fodder everywhere you look but not have anyone available to go do whatever really important thing Miss Republic's Only Hope has going on that's stopping her from Battle Meditationizing all over the place?"

"That's not-" Alek stopped and shook his head. "How did you even know about Juhani?"

"I could have sworn that we just had this conversation," Revan said vaguely.

"We did," Alek agreed, "but then you went and knew more things!"

"No, actually I already knew about Juhani when you asked me how I knew about Bastila. I just hadn't told you then."

"You're seriously not even going to tell me?" Alek asked.

"Not even going to," Revan confirmed. "But hey, at least I didn't know that Juhani was with you. That's something."

Alek crossed his arms. "It's not much. No offense, but you seem like just this random guy. This really weird random guy but a random guy just the same."

Strangely, Revan looked amused at that. "Do I? As opposed to what, exactly?"

"I don't know!" Alek exclaimed. "Some…not random guy."

"Very eloquent," Revan said dryly. "I don't think I've ever been called just some random guy before. It's kind of blowing my mind."

"I mean, I didn't mean…you know what I mean!"

"How can I when I'm not sure that you even do?"

"I'm sure you're a perfectly good person," Alek said. "And I kind of like you even if I'm not really sure why."

"You never were."

"Even if you're barely even pretending you don't think I'm some guy named Malak and may in fact have delusions of being a Sith Lord, I don't know."

"No delusions here," Revan promised. He tilted his head. "Well…actually that might be a matter of opinion. But most things are. Even if they happen to be stupid opinions."

"Stupid opinions?" Alek repeated. "You mean ones you don't agree with?"

"Often, yes," Revan said. "But I mean more really stupid ones like believing I'm on Coruscant right now."

Alek stared at him. "That's not an opinion; it's objectively wrong."

"And yet if I believe it is an opinion, possibly a delusion, and definitely stupid," Revan said.

"That, among many other things including the fact you won't commit to anything even as basic as whether you're a Sith, is why I said you were weird," Alek said. "And I do stand by that."

Revan peered curiously at him. "So do you believe I'm a Sith?"

Alek snorted. "No."

"Why not?"

"You don't really come off as evil," Alek said.

"I'll have you know that it's really only the Force users who all have to be evil," Revan said. "While a certain evilness – though not exactly the same kind – can be found within the ranks, particularly higher up, it is hardly essential. I know some pretty good people who just happen to be Sith."

"Don't be ridiculous," Alek scoffed. "If they were so good, why are they Sith?"

"There's a lot of reasons an otherwise good person would choose to join an organization that you and I both know is kind of completely evil," Revan said.

"Kind of completely?"

"Yes," Revan said. "For instance, the Sith pay better. And their uniforms are better. It may seem incomprehensible to you but most of the galaxy don't really understand the difference between a Jedi and a Sith and call the Sith Dark Jedi. And given that these are usually fallen Jedi and none of them are real Sith I can see that even if I don't like it. The galaxy at large just sees fights between Jedi and Sith as a religious war and they do not approve. Though they wouldn't like it if the Jedi stopped fighting and just let the Sith have at it, either. Except for the current Sith. They've got a few good ideas. And it means they don't really have a problem picking one side or another based on something other than the evilness of their cause."

Alek's jaw dropped. "A-A religious war?"

"Yeah, personally I think that the Force goes beyond mere religion because if you can use it you can use it and if you can't then you can't no matter what you believe but the average person isn't exactly well-educated on these things and it has little to do with them anyway. Then we have the fact that it looks like the Sith are going to win this war and lots of people just want to be on the winning side. And the Sith used to be headed by the men who saved the Republic from the Mandalorians while the Jedi just sort of watched and even now Revan's still…present."

Alek whistled. "You are not a Revan fan, are you?"

Revan smirked. "Good luck finding a bigger Revan fan. Although with all the hype maybe you could."

"You just never seem to think he does anything."

"Not willingly, no, and I never said that was a bad thing," Revan replied. "Even if I'm sure most would disagree. Except maybe the people who wish he hadn't in some way played a part in the starting of the war."

"Now you're just whitewashing him," Alek accused.

"First I hate him, now I'm whitewashing him…you really can't tell what I think, can you?"

"The Jedi must have had their reasons not to get involved," Alek said.

There was a flash of something dark in Revan's eyes for a moment before he blinked and it was gone.

"They did," Revan allowed. "And I won't be the one to say they were wrong to wonder what prompted the Mandalorian attack. But Ma-Alek, what they never understood was that the Republic couldn't afford for them to just sit and wait for the true threat to reveal itself. The Mandalorians were going to kill everyone just as much as whatever they feared would. Frankly, they are damn lucky that Revan and Malak did what they did and took care of the threat for them so they can sit back and condemn them for their actions."

"And now we've got Sith."

"But is the galaxy truly worse off than it would have had Revan and Malak done nothing and let the Mandalorians operate unopposed?"

"The Jedi would have eventually gotten involved," Alek insisted.

"Perhaps. But would it have been in time?" Revan asked. "Regardless of what would have happened, all we know is what did. Despite whatever you think about what happened next, Revan and Malak saved the Republic. There are those that remember that."

"They care so much for the Republic that they join the Sith to destroy it?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Revan said. "The Sith are looking to conquer the Republic, not destroy it. And the Jedi who didn't join Revan, the ones the galaxy still hasn't forgiven, are the face of the Republic. It's not too much of a stretch to think the Sith might be better for the galaxy."

"Except they're evil."

"Now that's hurtful," Revan said idly. "And you know that a lot of the original Sith troops were Republic troops Revan and Malak took with them on their little field trip into the Unknown Regions. They were already loyal."

"But…evil."

"That's hardly an eloquent response!"

"It's really the only one I need," Alek said. "On account of the Sith being evil and all."

Revan just rolled his eyes. "Why don't you tell me why you were talking about me being an apparently random person?"

It took Alek a moment to remember what Revan was talking about. "Right. That. If you, a random guy off the street, can know that much about me and my crew then how hard do you think it will be for the Sith to figure it out?"

Another strange look passed over Revan's face. "Not even remotely difficult. They probably already know. And they will be coming to kill you."

"Thanks for the concern."

Revan leaned over to look at the Shadowlands though of course he couldn't possibly see to the bottom. He leaned so far over that Alek was starting to worry he'd fall over.

"I don't know why I'm here."

"You said you were here to see an old friend," Alek said cautiously.

Revan laughed but it didn't sound happy. "I did. In fact, I've seen two. But I still don't know why…this is foolish."

"I don't know what 'this' is," Alek said.

"I know," Revan said softly. "But, trust me, it is."

"Do you have any intention of changing your mind?"

"Rarely if ever and not in this case," Revan said. "I just wish I understood."

Alek was at a loss. "At least you recognize how foolish it is?"

"Trust me, knowing makes no difference. It might even make it worse because I should know better. I do know better. And yet here I stand." He paused. "Well, metaphorically. I'm obviously sitting."

'Trust me' he kept saying.

They sat in silence for a while.

Finally Revan seemed to shake himself and stand up. "I should go."

Alek felt the strangest urge to stop him but to what end? He barely even knew this man and he had very troubling views on a lot of things that mattered very much to Alek (and seemingly not at all to him) and it wasn't like they were just collecting crew members. Something told him Revan wouldn't agree anyway.

"I hope things work out for you."

Revan's smile was almost rueful. "You don't know that."

"Well, I…no," Alek said, taken aback. He stood up. "I don't know that they will. I'm just saying that I hope they do."

"And I'm just saying that you have no idea what you're hoping for," Revan said. He gave Alek a look. "Don't worry about me. I can tell that you are but don't."

"Then don't be so…maudlin," Alek replied.

"I'll try not to," Revan said. "Though I'm feeling a bit directionless at present. I'll see you on…Tatooine, I shouldn't wonder."

Alek tensed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I've got business on Tatooine," Revan said. "So I'll be going there soon. And if life or the Force or whatever you want to call it continues to conspire to throw us together that seems like the place to do it."

Alek nodded but, as he watched Revan leave, he was far from certain.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Well this is just…I don't…" Malak appeared to be at a loss for words._

_Revan, standing beside him and looking remarkably bored for someone covered from head to toe, said, "We could just not do it."_

_Malak glared at him. "You always say we should just not do it!"_

_"And yet you never seem to take my advice. My life would be so much better if you would."_

_"No one's forcing you to go along with me," Malak pointed out._

_Revan ignored that. "Just once you could try not doing the ridiculously ambitious thing you have planned. Just once. For me."_

_"I could," Malak agreed. "In fact, maybe I even have and only chose not to tell you so as not to encourage you. You'll never know."_

_"You're evil," Revan accused._

_"So I'm sure the Jedi will say. You would think, after all of this, you would have stopped suggesting I don't do things. You know it's never going to happen and that I know you never want to do anything so it's a bit of a wasted effort."_

_Revan shrugged. "I am an eternal optimist."_

_Malak snorted. "Since when?"_

_Revan didn't say anything._

_Malak shook his head. "I can't believe that you wore that get-up when we were walking through Anchorhead. Do you have any idea how many odd stares we were getting?"_

_"A great many of them," Revan said. "But you didn't complain when I wore it on Korriban or Kashyyyk."_

_"I pick my battles," Malak replied. "And no one was really on Korriban while Kashyyyk just has a bunch of wookies who didn't seem to find your outfit any stranger than the fact we even went there in the first place."_

_"I told you, I can't be recognized. It would ruin my life."_

_"You can't just go out and be a war hero and one of the most important people in the Republic and not be recognized!" Malak exclaimed. "People aren't even positive whether you're a boy or a girl!"_

_Revan scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, I really don't know what to make of that one. I'm not trying to hide my gender at all. I guess people think I could be a woman pretending to be a man for some reason? I would correct them except I don't care and that decreases my odds of being correctly identified."_

_"But…how do people not know it's you?" Malak demanded. "I've literally never met any other Revan in my life-"_

_"Except for all those babies people keep naming after me," Revan interrupted._

_Malak nodded. "Well, right, except for those but they really don't count. I've seen you out pretending to be a normal person and you still go around and tell everybody your name is Revan! How do people not get this?"_

_"People do sometimes suspect me of being, well, me," Revan said. "But chances are there's some other Revan out there whose name has nothing to do with mine and once people meet me they seem remarkably willing to believe I'm not the person they've heard so much about."_

_"Sometimes I can't believe you're actually Revan and I've spent most of my life with you," Malak confided._

_Revan patted him on the back. "There, there. You don't even want to know how many times I've had to stop whatever it was I was doing to wonder how in the world I get so much done."_

_"And it's not half as much as you should be doing," Malak said._

_"Pick your battles. Anyway, while you clearly disapprove I think the evidence is pretty clear that I can, in fact, go out and pretend not to be me pretty much all the time and I all I need to do is constantly cover myself up whenever I'm doing anything important."_

_"We've literally been out together at Cantinas or something and people don't think you're you!"_

_Revan shrugged. "You should be glad people understand that you have other friends."_

_Malak glared at him. "I'm not going to be grateful that people don't have an even lower opinion of me than I deserve when they already take everything I do and give you the credit."_

_"Hey, I do things, too," Revan protested. "Under duress but if you want me to stop then you could always stop pestering me about it. And it's your prerogative not to feel grateful but that really just makes you angrier at the world so I don't recommend it."_

_"You know I need you," Malak said tiredly. "Or I would so take your suggestion and just leave you to be happy in obscurity."_

_"I would be deliriously happy. Though probably not obscure, people always did get really excited about me."_

_"Like right now, for instance," Malak said. "You spoke the Sand People language but you still made your stupid little robot-"_

_"HK is a valued member of our team," Revan interrupted._

_"He's a robot, Revan."_

_"Droid. And while he is not here right now to defend himself and would probably not care either way, I care and I will speak up for his valiant contributions!"_

_Malak just rolled his eyes. "You still made him translate for you."_

_"For you, actually," Revan corrected. "As you said, I speak the language."_

_"There's no reason you couldn't have translated."_

_"I didn't want to, though," Revan pointed out. "And HK was right there."_

_"Where is he now, anyway?"_

_Revan shrugged. "Off killing something somewhere, I guess. He'll meet us back at the ship."_

_"Do you think he maybe could take on this ridiculously large dragon guarding the cave the star map is in?" Malak asked. "At least it had better be in here. If we went through all this and the Sand People were wrong…"_

_"They're probably not. And I don't know, I believe in him so I think he probably could. But HK isn't here right now and if you don't want to bother with killing the dragon I don't see why I should be expected to do it."_

_"I'm not you, Revan," Malak said. "It's not a matter of me not wanting to kill the dragon. I just literally can't. And if you can then we really don't have any other options unless you want to ju-" He cut himself off._

_"Unless I want to just forget this whole star map business at all, is that it?" Revan asked knowingly._

_"I am not even giving you that option."_

_"You don't trust me," Revan complained._

_"Would you in my place?"_

_"Yes, I think I would. I always have the best ideas and never try to drag myself along on things I don't want to do."_

_"Well if you were a normal person, you wouldn't," Malak said._

_"Hey, don't sell yourself short," Revan said. "You're hardly normal either, Malak."_

_"I…thanks?"_

_"You're welcome," Revan said serenely._

_"Now can you please do something about that dragon?"_

_Revan was quiet for a long moment._

_"Revan!"_

_Revan sighed loudly and started walking towards the dragon._

_"What-Revan, you can't just! Revan!" Malak exclaimed as he hurried after him._

_When Malak got within a certain distance of the cave (which was further away than Revan was but he had the feeling it was his presence that the thing was reacting to) the dragon roared and exited the cave._

_"Revan," Malak said as calmly as he could._

_Revan just waved his hand at the creature and it collapsed._

_"Did…did you just kill it?" Malak demanded._

_Revan snorted. "Please. It's just sleeping."_

_"Why didn't you do that before?"_

_"I didn't need to until you got its attention," Revan said. "Now are we going to go look at the star map or what?"_

Alek was sitting at the Cantina with Jolee when Revan walked in with two droids. Bastila had been there earlier, and Carth, but she had stormed out after confronting her mother and Carth had gone after her. Alek would have gone but she always seemed so on edge around him that Alek suspected she didn't like him very much. It was understandable, really, given that they had somehow found themselves Force bound together and she kept having his weird dreams about Revan being Revan but it was still a little hurtful.

"Revan!" Jolee cried out, waving at him. "What are you doing here?"

"I found out HK here ended up in some subpar droid shop," Revan explained after he went over to them. "And I came to rescue him."

"Enthused Confirmation: I knew my master would return for me! I knew that before I knew my own identity."

"I really should reconsider that whole mind wipe thing if his master dies," Revan said thoughtfully. "I mean, even if his memory always gets restored once he's back with me, sooner or later I'm going to die and I don't want him to have permanent amnesia."

"Protestation: Would I want to remember having lost such a wonderfully cruel and violent master as yourself?"

Alek stared at him. "Come again?"

Revan laughed awkwardly. "Um, he's exaggerating. Really. Those are not two words I would use to describe myself."

"But are they inaccurate?" Jolee asked.

Revan glared at him. "Yes. I initially put the mind wipe feature in to prevent anyone else from trying to wipe his memory more thoroughly and to actually save his memory. I really don't approve of these droid lobotomies, you know."

"I don't really think wiping a droid's memory is akin to giving someone a lobotomy," Alek said.

Revan narrowed his eyes. "Oh really? Then what do you recall forcibly erasing a droid's past and getting rid of any semblance of a personality it might be lucky enough to have the time to develop that sets it apart from all the other droids?"

"Why would you want a droid with a personality?" Alek asked, confused.

Revan threw his hands up in the air. "Oh, I don't know, Malak! Why would you want a person with a personality?"

"That's really not the same thing," Alek protested. "And my name still isn't Malak."

Jolee laid a hand on his arm. "Leave it. This is one argument you're not going to win."

"The one about the droids or about my name?"

"Make that two arguments you're not going to win," Jolee said. "But I figure that if you're going to insist on calling yourself Alek then you're probably not going to drop that one."

"I'm not insisting on calling myself anything! It's my name!"

"I don't see what that has to do with it," Jolee said. "After all, just because my name is Jolee doesn't mean I couldn't call myself Anakin if I didn't want to."

Revan shook his head. "I wouldn't. You don't look like an Anakin. And Anakin Bindo doesn't roll off the tongue like Jolee Bindo does."

"I could change that, too," Jolee offered.

"If you do that then I'll never be able to keep track of you!" Revan exclaimed.

"Who is your other droid?" Alek asked. "Another assassin droid?"

Revan's eyes inexplicably lit up. "I never told you that HK was an assassin droid!"

Alek thought back. No, he hadn't, had he? That was the dream with this exact droid. Maybe Bastila and the Council had a point about the Force being involved in his dreams if he could see that HK existed even if he could see no real reason why he needed this knowledge.

"I, uh, had a dream," he admitted.

Jolee and Revan exchanged strangely meaningful looks.

"Bastila and Alek have been dreaming about Revan and Malak and their journey to find the star maps," Jolee said.

"Is that so."

"I really don't think we should be talking about this," Alek said uncomfortably. "No offence, Revan, but you're not on our mission."

"I never take offence at not having to do things," Revan assured him. "And to answer your question, no, T3 is not an assassin droid. While I'm sure he could be a marvelous one if he so chose, for now he is just happy to be the best utility droid the world has ever seen. He was a big help getting HK back."

"Jealous mutter: I don't see why he was even needed since all you had to do was buy me at the store."

"T3," Alek repeated. The name pinged at his memory. "Wait…is that T3-M4?"

Revan looked away. "Yes…"

"As in that utility droid I was supposed to buy back on Taris but couldn't because by the time I got there someone else had already purchased him even though Davik had reserved him?" Alek asked. "It, I mean."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's 'him.'"

"Revan. Answer the question."

Revan sighed. "Fine, maybe I stopped by to look at the local droids, as I'm wont to do, and I fell in love. Is that so strange?"

"Yes," Jolee said. "That's what we like to call a 'droid fetish.'"

"Oh, I don't know," Alek said.

Revan threw a grateful look his way. "Thank you!"

"I needed him!"

"You clearly didn't," Revan said unrepentantly. "And I love him more. So there."

Alek supposed that he could press the issue but technically it had been Davik's droid and he was sent to fetch it by Canderous so he could break into the Sith base which Revan had somehow saved him from doing and now, legally, the droid was Revan's.

"But don't you…I mean…isn't this kind of weird? What with…." Jolee jerked his head unsubtly at Alek. "And he seems to know you."

"I can speak for myself, thanks," Alek said, annoyed. "I've run into Revan a few times now. He mentioned he had business on Tatooine so this is a bit less odd than when I ran into him on Kashyyyk."

Jolee crossed his arms. "And here I thought you were there to visit me!"

"That is absolutely also a thing that I did," Revan said.

"Bastila can't know about this," Jolee said.

"Are you realizing something or setting a future directive?" Revan asked. "Because either way, I agree."

"Oh, it's not that big of a deal," Alek said.

Jolee stared at him. "Really?"

"It's not like he's the real Revan or anything," Alek said, feeling oddly compelled to defend himself even though it wasn't as though he did anything but talk to a guy he ran into on a few occasions. This was literally the third time they'd ever met.

"There's nothing fake about me," Revan protested.

"Really?"

"If I told Bastila I just get the feeling this would all get needlessly complicated and, knowing her, she'd probably think he was really Revan and he's obviously not so there's no need to alarm her."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, why do you keep saying that?" Alek asked.

"Because honestly I have no other idea of how to respond," Jolee said.

"It's not so bad, Jolee," Revan assured him. "Think of how else I could be spending my time."

"You're not, I don't know, trying to turn him evil or anything, are you?" Jolee asked suspiciously.

This time it was Revan's turn to stare at him. "Really?"

"Well, maybe you're right," Jolee conceded. "But still, this is weird. I'm going to go and pretend I don't know anything about this. If this all blows up in someone's face, try to remember that I had no idea so none of it is my fault."

Revan nodded. "Will do."

"I was more talking about Alek here and maybe Bastila or Carth should they hear about how I knew nothing."

"Why would anyone blame you for not knowing anything?" Revan asked innocently.

"Exactly," Jolee said, nodding in satisfaction. "Well, if that's all…" With that, he wandered away.

"That guy is so weird," Alek said, shaking his head. "And he called me Malak a few times before Bastila noticed and pulled him off to the side to have some sort of discussion with him. Why she couldn't just ask him to not randomly refer to people as Sith Lords in front of everyone is beyond me since we all knew what she was doing but I guess it's manners or something."

"Or something," Revan said. "So how have you been?"

Alek shrugged. "Alright, I guess."

"I stopped by Kashyyyk again after you left," Revan said. "Imagine my surprise when I found a wookie uprising and the violent murder of all Czerka personnel! And, I mean, if people are going to be violently murdered they might as well be Czerka people but it was still quite unexpected."

"I'm glad you were able to get away okay," Alek told him.

Revan shot him a quizzical look. "Get away? What are you talking about?"

"Well they did possibly needlessly but still completely understandably kill everyone related to the wookie enslavement going on," Alek said. "Even if only tangentially. They said they wouldn't allow any outsiders but my crew on their planet for quite some time. And you went there."

"Yeah, but the wookies and I go way back," Revan said. "They weren't talking about me."

"But…the only reason they even let us still go there is because Zaalbar is with us and we saved them from slavers," Alek protested. "And maybe because Jolee lived there for decades. Why would they let you come?"

"They like me," Revan said simply.

"That's…not really a reason."

"It kind of is," Revan said. "And how things usually work out for me. I'm glad you got things sorted out on Kashyyyk even if, for the life of me, I don't understand why you had to get involved and help overthrow the government instead of getting what you wanted and getting out."

"I couldn't just not get involved, Revan!" Alek exclaimed. "Chuundar was selling his own people into slavery!"

"I was also aware of this," Revan said. "And yet, somehow, I managed to not get involved."

Alek frowned at him. "I suppose you couldn't have been expected to single-handedly change Kashyyyk."

"I have been expected to do all sorts of things like that by myself and, for the record, I absolutely could have," Revan corrected. "But I didn't want to."

"That's a pretty terrible thing to say," Alek said.

Revan shrugged. "Is it? It's true."

"That makes it even worse!"

Revan looked impassively over at him.

"And even if I didn't care about saving Kashyyyk-"

"It is a little presumptuous of you to come in there, an outsider, and force your salvation on them instead of just letting them sort through their problems on their own," Revan interrupted.

Alek rolled his eyes. "You don't even believe that. I didn't force anything on anyone. I just was forced to, by the wookie leader, go down and look for someone he definitely didn't tell me was his exiled father. He took Zaalbar as a hostage and killing his father was the price he extracted for going down to see the star map. Then when I realized this was Chuundar's father he just wanted dead so no one would know about the slaves, his father chose to go and incite a rebellion. Zaalbar…probably should have been able to make up his own damn mind about whether to support his evil slaving brother who had been holding him hostage or his father who tragically didn't believe him about his brother but he asked me for my advice and I gave it to him. Once I chose my side in this civil war, I helped my allies and then I left. There's no radical restructuring, just the former leader retaking power and the government is the same. I didn't coopt the wookie movement or anything."

"Well, sure, if that's how you want to justify it," Revan said.

Alek rolled his eyes. "Revan-"

Revan shook his head. "No, no, go on. Even if you didn't care about saving Kashyyyk?"

"Like I said, Chuundar took Zaalbar hostage and since he made us agree we'd go kill his father I can't imagine he'd let us leave without some sort of proof. And we couldn't just stand around watching a civil war break out around us and do nothing!"

"That is actually absolutely a thing that I have done," Revan said.

"The heir to the throne was a friend of mine!"

"Also a situation I have found myself in."

"Were they still your friend after you spectacularly failed to contribute?" Alek asked.

"Strangely, yes," Revan said. "I do take your point but I still wouldn't have gotten involved."

Alek threw him an exasperated look. "Do you ever get involved with anything?"

"Not willingly," Revan said. "If you actually knew you'd either be honored or annoyed at me and probably both, actually."

"Knew what?" Alek asked.

"I could tell you."

Alek waited. "And?"

"But I won't."

"That's hardly fair," Alek protested.

"Add that to the list of things I don't care about," Revan said. "But listen…how do you like being a Jedi?"

"What do you mean, how do I like being a Jedi?"

"That was not even slightly a vague question," Revan said. "How do you like being a Jedi?"

Alek tilted his head back. "I…haven't really thought about it, actually."

"Oh, come on. You have at least a week of not being a Jedi or Sith under your belt now, you can't tell me how that compares?" Revan said. "Even if I'm sure Taris was a nightmare."

Alek rolled his eyes. "I've been a not-Jedi for more than a week, Revan."

Revan nodded. "Right, no one's actually born a Jedi. So there's a few more years there."

Alek snorted. " 'A few.' Try 'most of my life.' But, like I said, I don't know. We're at war right now and I can't say I like that."

"Well, yeah, wars are a menace," Revan agreed. "That's why I'm quite irresponsibly mostly ignoring this one."

"While it's, uh, good that you're acknowledging when you're being irresponsible – although it would be better if you took steps to address that – I don't see how ignoring the war is irresponsible of a civilian," Alek said. "Unless you're saying you should enlist or something. How does one go about ignoring a war anyway? This conflict is spanning the Republic."

To his surprise, Revan smiled at that. "You never change. At least in some ways. It's good to see."

"I hardly think we've run into each other often enough for you to be qualified to judge whether or not I've changed," Alek pointed out.

Revan just looked cryptic and, knowing him, he was doing it on purpose. "As to how I can be ignoring the war…quite easily. I just don't really get involved in anything and let things – for the most part – progress without me. As for why that makes me irresponsible…it's entirely possible I really should step up and actually contribute though I'm sure the people who believe me to be their enemies are glad that I am not. If they would only realize that I am not. Would being less self-aware about all the ways I'm not living up to my potential make me more annoying or less so?"

"I honestly don't know," Alek admitted. "It's a bit of a tradeoff. That kind of obliviousness is obnoxious but knowing that you should be doing something else and then steadfastly refusing to do it is pretty bad, too. But I think you're being too hard on yourself. It's not like you could singlehandedly change the course of the war. But then you do seem a bit arrogant, which is strange given your refusal to even try."

Revan laughed. "Oh, I have never been told I'm too hard on myself by anyone who actually knows me!"

"We've met like three times," Alek pointed out.

Revan waved that off. "Arrogant, though? I've gotten that. Although I do think it's terribly unfair to accuse someone of arrogance if they're just being honest."

"Maybe it's the fact you honestly believe you could change the course of a war that is what's making you arrogant," Alek said helpfully. "Or deluded."

Revan just smiled.

"What?"

"You wouldn't get it," Revan said. "But come on, there's really nothing you feel you can comment on? How's the expected celibacy?"

Alek choked. "Wow, you go right for it, don't you?"

Revan merely raised an eyebrow.

"I don't…I mean I haven't been a Jedi that long. I wasn't seeing anyone before and it's not like Bastila and I are going to hook up and I get the feeling Juhani is an even less likely prospect," Alek said.

"You join up during a war because you have to," Revan said. "And yeah, right now you're a bit busy but you're really fine with that forever?"

"I'm actually pretty sure that, while the Jedi wouldn't approve of my reading, all that is prohibited is having a relationship," Alek said. "Therefore I can feel free to have as much casual sex as I want without violating anything."

Revan grinned. "Yeah, they wouldn't approve. They never approve of anything. And honestly, I've never been able to find where in the five-line code it states anything about sex or love or anything like that."

"And you are an expert on Jedi now?"

"I'm an expert at everything," Revan said modestly. "Or close enough at any rate."

"Even if it's not in the code-code, there have been countless rules introduced over the years that probably get very specific about this," Alek said. "And since the no relationship thing seems pretty new and introduced in the wake of people blaming relationships for people falling to the dark side, I doubt they thought to prohibit no strings attached flings. But if I bring it up with them, they'll probably address that oversight."

"It's not like breaking the Jedi rules is illegal or anything," Revan pointed out. "At most, they'd kick you out. They can't even really enforce exile, you know. And they can't force you to stay no matter how I'm sure they'd try to stop you in particular from actually leaving."

"Me in particular?"

"So if you ever do want to go, just go. Or do what you want and wait to get kicked out. I doubt they would, personally, especially if you end up being a big hero and saving the Republic."

"That's certainly something to think about but hardly something I need to think about today! There's more to being a Jedi than not dating."

"Or having any familial contact because Force knows caring about people other than yourself might lead you to value the galaxy less and definitely discourage caring about the sort of collateral damage being a Sith would lead to," Revan said. "But yeah, there's more than that. How are the powers?"

"Um, good?"

"Is that a question?" Revan asked, amused.

"Well I guess I like them," Alek said. "They're certainly very useful and I am in a war. I can sense when my enemies are coming and block better. The lightsaber is a gift and while they may have side-eyed me when I wanted a double-bladed one it really is the most efficient. Healing is invaluable and the ability to persuade people to go along with what I need them to do has come in handy more than once."

"Oh, I feel you," Revan said. "But come on, Malak! That's boring."

"It's still Alek," Alek reminded him. "Are you even trying to deny that you have some sort of Revan complex? Because you're really NOT him."

"Denying things takes too much effort," Revan said.

What kind of person would rather have people think badly of them than bother to set the record straight? He truly didn't understand.

"There's nothing boring about this!"

"It is, though," Revan said. "Okay, so Force persuade may have some potential but you probably just use it for boring things like getting past security or persuading law enforcement not to arrest you."

"What should I be using it for?" Alek challenged.

"Anything," Revan said. "Everything. Someone wants to hold you accountable for your actions? Force persuade. Someone wants to kill you? Force persuade. Someone wants you to pay a docking fee? Force persuade. Someone wants to make you work to get the result you want? Force persuade. Awkward conversation you don't want to have? Force persuade."

"I'm not sure you even can use it for everything you're saying," Alek said. "Sometimes, especially against the strong willed or certain species, it simply doesn't work."

Revan snorted. "If you're an amateur, maybe."

"You can't even Force persuade! You're not a Jedi!"

"Don't tell me who I am," Revan said, crossing his arms petulantly. "Although most people would probably agree with you on that."

"I don't understand how my using the Force for what I need to is a problem."

"Not a problem, per se, but definitely lacking in imagination. Like if you're stuck having to walk long distances, just use Force speed and wow, you're there in a heartbeat. Definitely stops you from getting bored. Or use the Force to slow your breathing and wander around in poisoned atmospheres or underwater without having to take any other precautions. Communicating with people long-distance without a real communicator. Or Force lighting! Who wouldn't want to shoot lightning at people?"

"Revan, you can't use Force lightning without feeling the appropriate emotion to fuel it!" Alek protested. "That's why Sith can't heal."

"The Sith version of me would never have any problems healing," Revan claimed.

Alek rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say."

"And what's wrong with fueling Force lightning with the emotion of wanting lightning to shoot out of your hand?"

"It doesn't work like that," Alek said sternly. "You need to feel hatred and a need for destruction."

"I'm pretty sure you don't," Revan said.

"Who do you really think would know better, you or me?" Alek asked rhetorically. "No, wait, don't say anything. You're an expert on everything. I remember."

"I just think you're sucking the joy out of this."

"I'm at war, Revan," Alek said.

"Yeah but that doesn't mean you can't still take the time to enjoy the little stuff. You have access to the Force! And whatever complications may come with that," he shuddered, "that's still something to celebrate."

"You're a fan of the Force?" Alek asked, surprised.

Revan nodded. "Sure. It may daily conspire to make me do things-"

"Not everything is a giant conspiracy to get you to do things," Alek interrupted.

"You say that now," Revan said, rolling his eyes. "But it also makes things very convenient for me sometimes. On balance, my life would be worse without it."

"Not many non-Force sensitive people feel the Force impacts their life all that much," Alek noted.

"Hello, battle mediation and this war at all," Revan said pointedly. "You seem very certain I'm not Force sensitive."

"I just figure that, well, you're obviously not a Jedi or a Sith and what are the odds the Jedi missed us both? I mean, really? Their system can't be that flawed!"

"It really can," Revan said. "Though maybe not in that way. They don't kidnap people and force them into this. Though they can exert pressure and they throw away perfectly good candidates they don't feel are promising enough and have them go be farmers or something. It's a problem."

"Okay…" Alek said uncertainly. This was the first he was hearing about this and he never knew when he should be taking Revan seriously.

"What color is your lightsaber?"

"My what?"

"Your lightsaber."

"What does that matter?"

"Humor me."

"Blue," Alek said.

"Do you just happen to be a Jedi Guardian?"

Alek looked away. "Maybe…"

"Force, Alek, how unoriginal can you get?"

"It's not my fault they gave me a blue crystal!"

"You could have changed it! Anything not red is cool with them. Personally, I would use a violet lightsaber. Double-bladed like yours. And don't even tell me they let you build one of those!"

"No," Alek admitted. "But I took it off a dead Sith and the crystal that came with that is red so I switched it out for my blue one and then made some modifications and now this is mine."

"I worry about you sometimes," Revan said seriously.

"I worry about you, too," Alek said. "I have no idea how someone like you even survives or functions in the world."

"With difficulty," Revan said melodramatically. "Hey…you don't happen to be going out into the desert, are you? Where you'll presumably need to speak to the Sand People?"

Alek stilled. "Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"Well I'm not saying that I know exactly what you're up to or anything," Revan said. "But you must be on an important mission for the Jedi Council, right? And it is good that you've got a fully-trained Jedi like Jolee with you and not just Bastila and Juhani even if maybe he could be a bit more…responsible himself. And I can't think of anything here in Anchorhead that you might need to do. So you probably need to go out there and to do that you'll more than likely need to be able to communicate with the Sand People. And…probably kill some of them and steal their clothes. I know it might sound like that's a terrible idea when you need to make a good first impression on them and I don't disagree but without them thinking you're one of them, you'll never get close enough to talk to them. They've got guns."

"I might need to communicate with the Sand People at some point during my stay," Alek said vaguely.

"You don't speak Sand Person."

"No one speaks Sand Person."

"I do," Revan said. Of course he did. If Alek even believed him.

"So what? You want to tag along?"

"Didn't we already establish how it would be for the best not to tell Bastila about this?" Revan asked rhetorically.

"Then why bring it up?" Alek asked. "Just want to brag about my misfortune and how you'd never have that difficulty?"

Revan shook his head. "Not my style. That's how you get roped into doing things."

"Then what?"

"Some would call this a rather stupid plan since, well, you know," Revan said.

"No, I don't."

"Gleeful boast: I do!"

"Yes but don't spoil it," Revan instructed. "I'm sure we'll get to that later and I should probably be there for that. I speak Sand Person, Ma-Alek, and so does HK. If you promise not to get yourself killed and make him reset and to provide plenty of people to kill, I'm willing to lend him to you for your mission."

"Even though you said that was a stupid plan for reasons you won't share with me?"

Revan shrugged. "Who knows? Something might come of this. And if not I'm sure the Force will let it all work out for the best anyway."

"But you just got it back," Alek said.

"And I'll miss him terribly but it's not so bad. You can just give him back to me on Korriban or Manaan."

Alek tensed. "Okay, wait a minute. How do you-"

"I just happen to have plans to go to both of those places in the near future," Revan interrupted. "Why, are you willing to detour there?"

Alek frowned but let it go. "That would be really great of you. What would you want in return?"

"Can't a guy just do someone a favor without wanting anything in return?" Revan asked guilelessly.

"It just doesn't seem your style."

"Do you want him or not?"

"That depends," Alek said. He looked over at HK. "What, exactly, do you think of me?"

"Impatient repetition: As we have discussed, in length, you are very capable for such a fragile bag of meat but you are still, ultimately, a bat of meat. Meatbag."

"We never discussed this," Alek said, confused.

"He gets that a lot," Revan explained. There was a strange look on his face. "It's a strange address. Personally, I find it hilarious."

"Proud statement: Of course you do."

"Well then…I guess we're doing this," Alek said. "Thanks."

"You shouldn't," Revan said.

"Hm?"

"Never mind," Revan said, standing up. "I've got to go. I'll see you soon, Malak. Be good, HK."

"It's Alek!" Alek called after him.

Revan waved without looking back.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Not that I don't relish having two Sith who have made it very clear that they could kill me at any time around, because I do," the bald man with tattoos all over his head said, "but why exactly did you come here to explore some tombs?"_

_"We're not Sith, Uthar," Malak said tiredly._

_"You went missing from the Jedi and are now exploring Korriban while not trying to kill or redeem me," Uthar argued. "Forgive me if I draw my own conclusions."_

_"This isn't fair," Malak complained. "We're only trying to help people."_

_"Don't look at me," Revan said, shrugging. "I don't care what people call me."_

_Malak rolled his eyes. "You care so much what people call you that you've made it impossible for anyone to tell anything about you except probably your height and that you're male. And they don't even get that part always!"_

_"Well you should have thought of that before you went off to be a Sith with everyone knowing what you looked like," Revan said. "I mean, you did make the lamest ever attempt to change your name but I do respect that once you said you were going to do it you're kind of stuck with it now."_

_"I'm not going by Malak because I'm too embarrassed to take it back!" Malak hissed. "You know that it's in protest of the Jedi Council!"_

_"Yeah, whatever you say."_

_"He changed his name?" Uthar asked, intrigued. "What was it before?"_

_"I'd love to tell you," Revan said. "But as Malak's best friend I really can't. It's just too embarrassing."_

_"It REALLY isn't."_

_"You could always tell him," Revan suggested._

_Malak just glared at him. "And we're not Sith."_

_"I think at this point we might be a little bit Sith," Revan said, once gain failing to sound even slightly concerned._

_"We are trying to save the Republic!"_

_"People who fall usually have good reasons," Revan said._

_"I think I'd know if I were a Sith or not!"_

_"You'd think," Revan agreed. "But not always. But hey, what does it even matter?"_

_"You can't be serious," Malak said._

_"I am," Revan countered. "But it's not worth arguing over."_

_"You can't just not-You shouldn't just not care whether or not you're a Sith," Malak corrected himself. "It makes kind of a big difference, if you're evil or not!"_

_"It's a word," Revan said. "I'm sure you can be not evil and a Sith or evil and not a Sith. We're going to do what we do and try to keep the evil to a minimum, as per usual, and I really don't see what calling ourselves Jedi or Sith has to do with it. Unless, I guess, you're the kind of person who thinks calling yourself a Jedi means you can't go out and murder babies – which I am firmly against, by the way – and calling yourself a Sith means you're obligated to kill three puppies a day or whatever. But we're not that ideologically bound."_

_"There is…something deeply wrong with that kind of thinking," Malak said after a moment, shaking his head. "I may not be able to put it into words but I know that there is."_

_Revan shrugged. "So be it. As to what we are doing, Uthar, it is really none of your concern. Maybe we just like exploring the tombs of Sith. It's quite fascinating and I can't promise I'm not going to grab anything that looks even half-way interesting."_

_Malak caught a glimpse of something in the next room. "Right, thank you for accompanying us, Uthar, but we really must go the rest of the way alone."_

_"There's literally one more room in here."_

_"Alone," Malak said louder._

_"Now I feel a little put out I walked all this way if I can't even see what you guys are doing," Uthar complained._

_"And isn't that terrible for you," Revan said, completely unconcerned. "Bye now."_

_Sulking, Uthar left._

_"We let Jolee see what we were doing," Revan said, approaching the star map and activating it._

_Malak quickly began copying down the map and adding the new information to their puzzle. "Jolee is still very much a Jedi, regardless of how poorly he took the Jedi's attempts to promote him. This guy is a hard-core Sith."_

_"I don't know how hard-core he is, I asked him about killing his master and he wouldn't look me in the eye," Revan said. "Are you really concerned about turning into a Sith?"_

_"We're not Sith!"_

_"Yeah, you keep saying that and while I can't expect you to have my, uh, more relaxed attitude towards life, I am growing a little concerned that you're so insistent on that point."_

_"Nobody can have your approach to life, Revan," Malak said. "The galaxy can barely even handle you having it. And I do have to admit what we're doing is pretty dark and our history is full of plenty of people who turned to the dark side when they just wanted to help and you clearly couldn't care less."_

_"I think you'll find I could," Revan said. "I'm just not concerned about the morality behind what I'm doing if I'm going to be doing it anyway. Not that I wouldn't love to not be doing any of this at all."_

_Malak laughed darkly. "Sure, put all the blame on me."_

_"That's not what I'm doing," Revan said. "You know why we're here. You know why you believe this is necessary. As long as that's true, we're doing what we have to. And if we fall...well then it was still a risk we had to take."_

_"Are you feeling okay?" Malak asked after a moment. "That was almost comforting."_

_Revan just rolled his eyes at that. Not that Malak could actually see him, but he knew._

\----

Alek broke into another one of the Sith dormitories and found Revan sleeping on the bed.

He turned to his friends. "I've got this one."

"What should we do?" Carth asked. "Everyone thinks we're your slaves."

"Well, yeah," Alek said. "But it's not as though my slaves have to be stalking me, is it? Just keep exploring or something. I'll catch up."

HK stayed where it was, of course, and after everyone left and the door was shut he said, "Enthusiastic greeting: Master!"

Revan opened his eyes. "It's too early."

"It's really not. It's, like, mid-afternoon," Alek corrected.

"It's cute how you think I care about such things as 'what time it actually is'," Revan said. "I'm tired so it's too early to be getting up. But it is nice of you to bring HK back to me."

"Enraptured declaration: there was so much blood, Master!"

"Yeah, he's not much of a diplomat, is he?" Alek asked rhetorically.

"I didn't build him to be a diplomat," Revan said.

"What are you doing on Korriban?" Alek asked.

"Well I told you I had business here and I was waiting to get my droid back," Revan said.

"Yeah, you did mention business," Alek said, nodding. "What kind?"

"I would love to tell you all about that," Revan said. "Just as soon as you tell me more about those star maps Jolee was mentioning."

Alek made a face. "Fair enough. But how did you get in here? You can only be a student at the Academy or a slave or something to get in here."

"And did you manage to enroll in the Academy so quickly?" Revan asked rhetorically. "Or are you playing the slave?"

"I'm a prospective student," Alek explained. "My friends are pretending to be my slaves. Are you my competition or something?"

"Perpetually," Revan said. "But actually, I just sort of walked in."

"You need a medallion, though," Alek protested.

Revan finally deigned to sit up. "Do you, though? Because I didn't bother with one and yet here I am."

Alek took a moment to process that. "Your very existence is so unfair."

"Oh, I know," Revan agreed. "Though I think that we might mean very different things by that. So, being a Jedi still working out for you?"

Alek laughed incredulously. "I've been a Jedi for all of five minutes, Revan! Surely you don't think I'd fall already!"

"I'm just saying, I'm not one to judge and you are here in the Sith Academy trying to get in."

"Yes but not really," Alek said.

"Another star map. Of course."

"Plus don't people on the dark side, I don't know, look evil or something?" Alek asked.

Revan crossed his arms, looking severely unimpressed. "Look evil? Really?"

"Well, I don't know! I've seen a few people and it looks like they have jaundice or something and their skin just gets really pale and grey and you can just tell," Alek said. "And I'm not like that."

"That only happens to some people depending on what they believe about themselves and the universe in general," Revan said dismissively. "It certainly never happened to me."

"You're not actually a Sith," Alek pointed out.

Revan just yawned. "You know this is pretty dangerous, right?"

No matter how many times Revan implied he was actually the dark lord of the Sith, Alek wasn't biting. There was no way anyone like Revan, even if he did have the kind of obscene power levels that other Revan was famed for, could possibly waste all their time running into Alek or would be half as lazy as Revan was. "Not half as dangerous as trying to slaughter my way through the Academy."

Revan's lips twitched. "That may come. Every now and then, this place is home to a good massacre. Just try not to redeem too many people or go for the wrong ones. Letting people know you're a spy – sort of – is just the sort of thing to set the Academy off. Why, I remember one time someone killed the head of the Academy and so was forced to slaughter all the idiotic students who didn't have more sense than to stay out of the way of someone like that. I mean, seriously? If you can take the guy who killed the head of the school and this is a Sith school where things like 'tenure' don't exist and the head is literally the most powerful one there then you don't need to be a student anymore!"

"I'm not exactly looking to be involved in a massacre, Revan."

"They are Sith students."

"Still," Alek said. "What makes you think I'm going to try to redeem anyone anyway?"

"Only the most annoyingly self-righteous of the Jedi don't bother trying to redeem everyone they meet everywhere they go," Revan explained. "One time, a friend of mine spent an hour redeeming this guy that overcharged us at the bar."

"That doesn't sound like someone in need of redemption," Alek noted.

Revan laughed. "You didn't see the bill!"

"Well I'll be careful, at least," Alek said. He hesitated. "Are you ever going to tell me exactly why you're following me around the galaxy?"

"What makes you think I'm following you around the galaxy?" Revan said.

"Taris, Kashyyyk, Tatooine, now Korriban? And you said you were going to Manaan. The only place I've been lately that you haven't is Dantooine and good luck not getting an inquisition from the Jedi if you had went there!"

"And you don't find my avoiding the Jedi at all…suspicious?" Revan asked carefully.

"I think you're clearly up to something and probably stalking me but anything evil?" Alek shook his head. "Not really your thing."

"I do a lot of things that aren't really my thing," Revan said. "I have very few things. Taris, I think we both know I didn't expect to see you there."

"Or someone called Malak that you still don't seem fully accepting of the fact I'm not, since that was who you called out to," Alek said. "But I'll grant you that."

"And afterwards I told you all the places I happened to be going," Revan said. "Maybe you're the one following me around and are just trying to stop me from suspecting you by accusing me first."

"I'm here on legitimate business," Alek argued.

"So you say," Revan said dismissively. "Looking for star maps but those are really common and it's not like I've gone with you to see them anyway. Could just be an excuse."

Alek closed his eyes and prayed for patience. "Fine. Maybe some third party wouldn't be able to tell who is following who and I can't prove anything but I know that my course was set before you told me anything about where you were going and chances are you know it, too."

"It could just be a giant coincidence," Revan suggested.

"There's no such thing about coincidence," Alek said. "It's all the Force and if the Force has a reason to send me to these planets and send you here for reasons that don't involve me then I'd like to know what it is."

Revan raised an eyebrow. "And you think I would know?"

"More than I would!" Alek exclaimed. "Like I said, this is getting weird."

"Have you ever thought that maybe I'm equally weirded out?"

Alek shook his head. "No. You are not acting in any way weirded out."

"Or maybe I just don't feel the need to be dramatic," Revan said. "Really, Alek, what do you think I'm up to if I'm supposedly following you around the galaxy? It's not like you think I'm evil or anything so that rules out Sith – sort of – and serial killer. What am I? Stalker with a crush? Tourist? Incredibly bored?"

"I don't know," Alek admitted. "I wouldn't even say you were here for me if it weren't for the fact I don't think you've really met anyone else besides Jolee."

"I did help you out with those sand people," Revan reminded him. "Good luck getting to talk to them without HK."

"That droid of yours is almost more trouble than it's worth," Alek grumbled.

"Cheerful agreement: I really am."

Revan smiled fondly at the droid.

"I don't know why you're following me but that seems more likely than the Force continuously throwing us together since we haven't actually done anything that would make it worth either of our whiles to know each other."

Revan frowned at him. "Now that's just hurtful."

"I mean, I do like you," Alek clarified. "But you're not so good a friend on this, our fourth ever meeting, that it makes any sense why the Force would keep doing this."

"I did lend you HK and you clearly needed him to get your star map or whatever," Revan said.

Alek half-shrugged. "I probably could have made do. It was easier with it, even if I did have to question the accuracy of the translation at times."

"HK is perfectly fluent in the Sand People dialect," Revan assured him.

"Yeah, just like Mission is fluent in the wookie language and yet she still somehow can't seem to tell Carth what Zaalbar is really saying and just keeps saying Carth is being accused of being racist," Alek said.

Revan grinned. "Does she really? I like that."

"Arrogant boast: I knew you would!"

"You have to admit, this is all very suspicious," Alek said.

"People need to stop telling me what I need to do," Revan complained. "And who are you suspecting? Me or the Force? Of what? Do you think I'm trying to hurt or sabotage you or something?"

Alek hesitated. "Strangely enough…no, I don't."

"Then what is the issue anyway?"

"I can't just ignore this," Alek said. "It would be irresponsible no matter what my instincts are telling me."

Revan laughed at that. "That is the number one sign that you don't remember being a Jedi for all that long-"

"Because I haven't been a Jedi for all that long," Alek cut in.

"Because Jedi never ever doubt their instincts," Revan said. "Unless, of course, those instincts go against the code. Or what people claim is in the code but it's really not because I know the Jedi code and it's far more compact than people like to say it is."

"Are you going to follow me around for the rest of my life?" Alek demanded. "Sooner or later I'm going to have to tell Bastila and the others. Even if it's just the Force, they'll want to know that, too. I probably should have told them already but Jolee doesn't seem to think there's an issue. Then again, I'm nearly positive that he knows what's really going on and just refuses to tell me because he thinks it's funny."

Revan smiled. "Yeah, Jolee is pretty great."

"That wasn't exactly a compliment."

Revan shrugged. "I think it is. Now, what are you saying, Alek? Do you want me to stop meeting up with you? Keep in mind, I wasn't even awake and you're the one who barged into my room here and started talking to me. You could have just left and maybe I wouldn't have even encountered you here. Do you want me to stay away from you?"

Alek hesitated. He should say yes. Someone whose morals he had no faith in following him around the galaxy while he was engaged in a top-secret mission to end this war was really not the kind of person that he should be hanging around with. Maybe after the war. But it wasn't as though they had ever done any normal spending time together, either. Just a conversation a planet that was all too cryptic for him to make heads of tails of it.

"No," he heard himself saying. "No, I wouldn't want that."

Revan smiled, looking almost surprised to hear it.

Not that, Alek realized belatedly, Revan had even offered to stay away from him. He had just asked if that was what he had wanted and, somehow, it wasn't.

"I don't know why I like seeing you but I do," Alek said. "I feel like you almost remind me."

"Remind you of what?" Revan asked.

Alek shook his head. "I really don't know. But you do. And this is all making no sense and I really do not need this on top of everything else."

"This?"

"I don't know," Alek said again. "But it's something and I think you know. You and Jolee,"

"Yes," Revan admitted.

"What is it?" Alek demanded. "And please, no more confusing me for dead Sith Lords."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Revan said. He lapsed into silence.

Alek waited and he could feel the disappointment curling in his gut. "You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I did."

"You could at least give me something to think about it," Alek countered.

"I could," Revan allowed. "But…maybe it's selfish. I kind of don't want to face it, either."

"If you didn't want to face it, you wouldn't be here."

"Then maybe I should go," Revan said, finally bothering to climb out of the bed and making no move to tidy the bedding up. "I wouldn't be so eager to find out why I'm here, Alek. You will and probably pretty soon but you're not going to like it. Are you sure you don't want me to stay away?"

What was he supposed to do with something like that? It sounded like Revan was having delusions of grandeur and he couldn't possibly know anything about Alek that he himself didn't. But Jolee seemed to know something, too, if he wasn't just pretending to so as to be annoying. All of this was very unsettling and suddenly he would like nothing more than to run away and pretend he'd never even met Revan.

"I'm sure."


	5. Chapter 5

Maybe it wasn't so surprising that they were captured by the Sith right after leaving Korriban. If there was any planet they'd be likely to be captured at, that would be the one. And they had kind of destroyed the academy by killing Uthar and redeeming Yuthura. And then having everyone somehow know about it and attack him so he had to slaughter his way through the academy on his way back to his ship.

Then came the time to make the plan. Saul Karath captured them so Carth was going to be too noticeable to slip past the Sith and everyone knew Bastila. But she acted like he was one of the people everyone would be on the lookout for. And sure, he did tend to act the leader but would the Sith really know about that? Maybe she just wanted to be extra careful just in case because if the Sith discovered their only rescue plan then they would be in serious trouble. Alek had thought it might be because he was a Jedi but she had had no problem with his plan to have Juhani just use her superior stealth to remain undetected and then free everyone. And while that might not have been the most fun option (personally, he wanted to see what Mission's plan was) it was more practical and this was important.

He had been tortured earlier. He'd never been tortured before. Carth said he'd gotten the worst of it, even after he had passed out. He didn't understand it. Maybe Bastila was too valuable and he had some sort of sentimental attachment to Carth but it was strange. As was the fact he was the only one questioned and it had hurt watching Bastila get tortured to try and get answers from him. He was a Jedi, though, and would not break so easily no matter what cryptic quips Karath made about his loyalties being 'flexible.' He didn't know why Bastila had been chosen instead of Carth to torture in front of him to try and get him to crack. Did Karath think that because he was male and Bastila was female that there might be something romantic going on between them? Because while Bastila was very pretty, she was too much of a Jedi to ever break the code and she was a little on the young side for his tastes. Nineteen was practically still a child!

But none of that mattered. He hadn't broken and Juhani had come and most of the crew was safely on the Ebon Hawk while he, Carth, and Bastila went to go kill Karath and free the Ebon Hawk. Karath had whispered secrets into Carth's ear as he died and now Carth wouldn't even look at him and Bastila pleadingly promised to explain if they could just go and he was starting to get a very bad feeling about this. A quite unspecified very bad feeling because he couldn't imagine what was going on but something told him that it involved him and was very bad. He felt strangely guilt, looking at Carth, even though as far as he knew he hadn't done anything that he should be guilty for.

Running down yet another corridor heading back to their ship, they stopped short when a door opened in front of them. Revan – of all people – casually walked through it. He blinked at them. "Oh, um, hi."

Bastila dropped into a fighting stance.

Carth immediately took out a gun and fired off two rounds, shouting, "Down you go!"

Revan just stood there got hit. "Ow. What the fuck? Do you just go around randomly shooting people, guy?"

Carth coughed and looked embarrassed. "I, um, didn't really have a plan beyond that, honestly. I mean, I wouldn't have expected to actually hit a Sith Lord."

"Then why were you shooting?"

Carth shrugged. "I couldn't really not shoot, you know. Even though it clearly did nothing."

"I wouldn't feel bad. Those things are kind of useless. But it's kind of a terrible policy to just shoot somebody because they're walking in your general direction," Revan said. "I mean, what if you killed some completely innocent person?"

"What would an innocent person be doing on a Sith ship?" Carth asked, confused.

"I'm, uh, going to skip right over 'earning a living' because I get the feeling you're one of those people," Revan said, shaking his head. "And instead may I point out that you guys are also walking along on a Sith ship?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure 'completely innocent' is a good word to describe us as," Carth said. "I mean, we're hardly bad guys but we sure do kill a lot of people."

"Duly noted. And anyway, who are you?" Revan demanded.

"Carth. Carth Onasi," Carth introduced.

"Don't shoot at me," Revan ordered.

Alek finally found his voice. "Revan? What-what are you doing here?"

Startled, Bastila straightened up and turned to him. "Y-you know him?"

"Well, yeah," Alek said, starting to feel a little embarrassed.

Bastila stared intensely at him. "What exactly do you remember?"

"About him?" Alek asked, jerking his head Revan's way. "Um, everything I guess."

"That's not quite what she means," Revan said.

Alek turned to look quizzically at him.

"How do you know me?" Revan clarified.

"I just ran into him on Taris," Alek explained. "Then I've seen him a couple of times since then. He lent me his assassin droid. It's really not a big deal."

Strangely, Bastila was growing more horrified by the second.

"What's going on here?" Alek asked, feeling like he was missing something huge. "Is he like a loan shark or something? Have I accidentally sold him my soul?"

"That is one theory," Bastila muttered darkly. "Well, not the part about the loan shark. Although, I don't know your life."

"Is this-" Carth started to say. "It could be. Saul said…and then Bastila didn't deny…but it all seems very hard to believe."

"I get that exact reaction a lot," Revan informed him blithely.

No one seemed like they were going to start telling him anything anytime soon.

"What's going on?" Alek asked again, a touch more desperation in his voice than he was happy with.

"Well, I don't know," Revan said slowly. "I mean, how do you just tell someone something like this? It's just a little awkward."

Carth nodded. "If you're talking about what I think you're talking about then I can definitely agree with that. It was a little awkward when Saul was telling me and it wasn't even about me plus he was telling me to hurt me."

Alek looked to Bastila.

She coughed. "I did not actually have a plan for this scenario."

"You told me you'd explain everything," Carth pointed out.

"Yes but not here! I just…think we should get going," Bastila said.

But Revan shook his head. "Oh, no. You can't leave just yet."

Bastila's lightsaber dropped into her hand. "Are you going to stop us?"

"I kind of doubt it," Revan said. "But now's the time. I'm not letting you go without telling him exactly what you don't want him to know."

"I am actually really down with that," Alek said. "Somebody. Anybody. Tell me something."

"I just heard maybe ten minutes ago," Carth said. "I'm not actually positive it's true since I haven't gotten the chance to talk to Bastila yet and for all I know Saul told me something completely different from what Bastila thought she said and I'd hate to embarrass myself by dramatically revealing something that isn't true."

"That's fair," Alek admitted grudgingly. "Bastila? Revan?"

"I…wouldn't even know where to start," Bastila admitted. "Though I am also highly against the idea of Revan being the one to tell you."

"I guess I'll just come out and say it," Revan said.

Alek waited. "Well?"

Revan made a face. "Sorry but this is really hard!"

"You literally just have to open your mouth and say words. Very much like the words that you are saying to avoid having to say the words I want to hear," Alek suggested helpfully.

"Oh, trust me, you do not want to hear these words."

Alek threw his hands up in the air. "This is ridiculous. What?"

"You know how when we first met I called you Malak and I've been calling you that half the time since then anyway and my name is Revan and I keep making all these not very subtle allusions to being a Sith?" Revan asked rhetorically.

Alek nodded slowly. "Yes…"

"And while I know that you just think I'm being weird or possibly am delusional but actually I'm not. I'm that Revan and you are my best friend Malak."

Alek nodded. "Yeah, you say that but you realize that you can't just tell me that you're not being delusional and have me believe it, right."

Bastila looked grave. "It's true, Alek."

"Malak," Revan corrected. "I mean, sure, technically your name is Alek but you changed it out of protest or something. Maybe it was to not be as obvious when the Jedi were hunting you? It was literally just adding an M to the front and changing the spelling so I don't see how that helps. You look very distinctive. Or, well, less so since the jaw but it's still pretty obvious. And why I wear a robe. Or, well, I wasn't really listening. I just know one day you told me that I should call you Malak now and I, for one, intend to respect that and not just go around calling you names you don't want to be called by anymore."

"I don't actually have a problem with Alek," Alek said absently, trying to make sense of what he'd just heard.

Revan rolled his eyes. "Well not now you don't! Of course you don't! You've been brainwashed. They could call you Meetra Surik, which I think we can all agree is a terrible name, and you'd probably insist it was fine!"

"What's true?" Alek asked, trying to focus on what was important.

"You really were Darth Malak," Bastila said. "I…think this is Revan but I'm not actually sure. I didn't know him before and I've never seen him without his mask. And, I mean, he doesn't feel particularly evil but that's a very unscientific way of determining Sithship."

"I am almost positive that is not a word," Carth said.

"How would you know?" Revan asked. "You're not even a Force user."

"If it is a word then it shouldn't be because it sounds stupid," Carth said.

"Agree to disagree," Revan said. "I am, for the record, Revan. That Revan. Though I don't feel like trying to convince anybody of my own identity because that is ridiculous-"

"But probably an inevitable consequence of wearing a mask all the time," Bastila interrupted.

Revan made a face. "Not really inevitable, I don't think. Until Malak was captured he knew who I was and he could just introduce me to people."

"Why aren't you wearing it in the first place?" Bastila asked. "You wear it everywhere."

Revan shrugged. "I just wasn't feeling it. Besides, Saul called and told me that Malak and his friends were here and I wanted to stop by and say hi."

Bastila looked like she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Stop by and say hi."

"It's only polite."

"You could always try and grab your cloak and mask and put it on," Carth suggested. "Maybe that way you'd be more convincing."

Revan rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to go all the way back to my quarters or the ship I came on and grab my robes. I'm not even going to project an image of me wearing it into your mind. Basically, if I can't convince you in the next two minutes I'm going to Force persuade you."

"I'm convinced," Carth said quickly.

"I was already mostly convinced," Bastila said.

Revan looked at him. "Malak?"

"Stop calling me that," Alek growled. "That's not who I am."

"It's just a name," Revan said gently. "But yes, I'm afraid that it is. And the fact that you find that…repellent is more due to the Jedi than anything else."

"Is it?" Alek challenged. "Is it really? I killed thousands of people! Millions even!"

"Hey, Carth just mentioned that you guys kill a lot of people, too."

"Not on that scale!" Alek shouted.

Revan cleared his throat. "It is true that you did get a little, uh, carried away sometimes. I wanted to just prove a point and conquer while leaving the infrastructure intact so that when the True Sith eventually invade we will be ready to fight them-"

"Wait, what?" Bastila asked, her eyes wide.

"Yeah, tell us more about this," Carth said, nodding.

Revan waved a hand. "Oh, that's old news."

"It really isn't," Carth said.

"You, on the other hand, sometimes seemed to forget that that was the plan or get a little too into the whole 'dark lord of the Sith' thing. I don't know. You were always a little more dramatic than me. Although you would disagree with that, saying that no one who was as reluctant to expend any effort at all in virtually any situation was not exceedingly dramatic. But we saved a lot of lives, too! Far more lives than we've killed so far since I'm counting everyone in the Republic as a save for us."

"Kind of crappy of you to go around killing the people you once saved," Carth told him.

Revan shrugged. "I never claimed to be perfect. Though many people do claim that for me. Malak never did, though."

"No," Alek said, shaking his head futilely. "No. Just…no."

"Is it really so bad?" Revan asked quietly. "Is your own identity so much of a burden? You were a hero once, Malak, and none of us would be here today if it wasn't for you. And while things have gotten a bit…complicated lately you're still out to save everyone."

"How exactly does one go about turning evil and torturing and killing people in the name of saving them?" Alek demanded. "You'd have to be completely insane to think that's a good idea!"

"Oh, I don't know about that," Revan said. "Thinking that's a good idea or not isn't a very good litmus test."

"You don't think someone would have to have something very wrong with them in order to approve of such a plan?" Bastila challenged.

Revan pointed at himself. "Do I personally think you'd have to have something wrong with you in order to support such a plan? Not really. And I'm a little offended at the stigmatizing involved in you denouncing anyone who would support such a plan, based only on their support, as insane. Maybe they don't see the world the way you do and maybe they're a little, shall we say, morally deficient but whether someone approves or disapproves of something is not any way to determine sanity. It might be comforting to you if that were true but it's not and that spreads a harmful message."

Bastila's jaw dropped. "I am not going to just stand here and be lectured by a Sith Lord about ethics!"

"Well you can walk around a little if you'd like," Revan said magnanimously. "But good luck trying to stop me."

"No," Alek said again. "Just…no."

"I am sorry," Revan said. He almost looked like he meant it. "Not that you are who you are or even for telling you but because the Jedi have made this truth painful."

"The Jedi didn't do anything," Alek said weakly.

Revan's eyes flashed and his mouth tightened. He looked straight at Alek. "Oh, they've done quite a lot. Now… _remember_."

\----

_Malak paced back and forth before a door, growing more agitated by the second._

_"I would apologize for being late," Revan said. "Except I'm not and frankly you're lucky I even showed up to do this. You realize that I don't actually care, right?"_

_"I have spent more than five seconds in your company of the years, Revan, yes," Malak said dryly. He turned around and abruptly stopped pacing. "What?"_

_"What what?" Revan asked._

_"Why are you completely covered? You're even wearing a mask!"_

_"Do you like it?" Revan asked, holding out his arms. "Black was always my color."_

_"Revan, you would look fine in even your very worst color-"_

_"Mustard yellow," Revan helpfully supplied._

_"Because we can't actually see your skin or hair or eyes that would normally make that color look bad on you," Malak said._

_"Yes but I would know," Revan said._

_"Why are you in that get-up?" Malak demanded. "Revan, we want the Jedi Council to take us seriously."_

_"No, you want the Jedi Council to take us seriously," Revan corrected._

_"Be that as it may, if you're going to do this you might as well not shoot yourself in the foot!"_

_"I have to do this," Revan said stubbornly._

_"I would love to hear how you came to that particular conclusion."_

_"Lots of people know who I am," Revan said. "Well beyond everyone who has actually met me. And once I do this, I'm going to be even more famous."_

_"Yes…"_

_"And frankly, that's going to be kind of a drag. I don't want to have to be famous all the time," Revan said. "It's not like I need the fame to get my way or anything anyway."_

_"So your solution is to show up in today's meeting covered up so no one can tell what you look like in protest?" Malak asked skeptically._

_Revan shook his head. "No, my solution is to never go out in public when I'm in my official Jedi hero role without taking proper precaution ever again."_

_Malak just stared at him. "Revan, that may be the most ridiculous thing you've ever said."_

_Revan perked up. "Really? Excellent. I do so love these easy achievements."_

_"Do you have any idea how inconvenient it is going to be to dress like that all the time?"_

_"I've got a pretty good idea. But it's not as bad as never being able to go out and be a random guy ever again," Revan said._

_"What, are you going to get an alias, too?"_

_Revan seemed to consider it before shaking his head. "Actually, I don't think I'll need to."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because if I go around being myself and telling people my name is Revan, what exactly do you think their reaction is going to be?"_

_Malak nodded. "I do see your point. Won't it get hot in there?"_

_"Am I not a Jedi?" Revan asked rhetorically._

_"You really shouldn't abuse the Force in such a way, Revan," Malak said disapprovingly._

_"Abusing the Force is like torturing someone or persuading someone to kill themselves or sleep with you or something," Revan said. "Not keeping your temperature at comfortable levels. I mean, come on, Alek, live a little."_

_Alek?_

_Malak – it was Malak – tolerantly rolled his eyes. "You're just irresponsible."_

_"There's a good chance the Jedi won't listen to us and we're going to have to ignore them and go to war on our own and wow I cannot believe how much the future is going to suck," Revan complained. "For the record, I hate you and blame you for everything."_

_"Let the record reflect this," Malak said dryly._

_"I'm just saying, if we're already going to ignore them and do what we want on such a big issue then why not on smaller issues like this?"_

_"We're fighting for what we believe in, to uphold the Jedi ideals of defending the Republic even if the Jedi themselves have forgotten this," Malak declared. "We are not going to war for you to use the Force to make your life easier nor do I wish to court anarchy."_

_"Well of course we don't have to go to war for me to use the Force however I see fit!" Revan replied. "I mean, really, I already do that. Don't tell me you're going to stick to that whole celibacy thing once we go. You have no idea how many dates I intend to go on once we're gone."_

_"I do wish you weren't planning on them saying no."_

_"It's a contingency," Revan claimed._

_"It sounds like you're self-sabotaging," Malak complained._

_"Hey, it's like you said. Why would I do this if I weren't at least going to half-ass it?" Revan said. "But it will be more fun if the Jedi leaders don't come with us."_

_"I don't want you to half-ass it; I want you to put all your effort into it. And I don't care about fun."_

_"Yeah, we all got that," Revan said, nodding. "And you really do just have to take what you can get, Alek."_

_"I don't see why you care," Malak said. "You already date far too many people for me to keep track of."_

_"How hard are you trying?" Revan asked._

_"And the Jedi Council is really not impressed with your 'even though this is seriously not in the Code at all, I don't love any of them so it's fine' argument," Malak said. "Frankly, if you weren't the most promising Jedi any of them had ever seen you really would have gotten kicked out by now."_

_Revan shrugged. "Sure but I am so why stress? And let's not pretend that my social life is the only reason why that's true."_

_Malak looked like he was beginning to rethink all of his life choices. "Let's just go in, shall we?"_

\----

It came in flashes, after that.

Alek opened his eyes, suddenly not quite sure of anything.

"I don't understand," he said quietly. "How could the Jedi capture someone as powerful as Malak? As powerful as-as me?"

Revan looked uncomfortable. "Well, about that…"

"Revan shot at your ship – well, his ship that you were on, we were trying to capture him – and you were seriously injured. I was the only other survivor," Bastila explained promptly.

Revan looked irrationally betrayed. "That's not quite how it happened!"

"That is exactly how it happened," Bastila argued. "Or are you really going to say that somebody else fired on us without your permission when you were right there?"

"Well, no…" Revan admitted.

"Why did you try to kill me?" Alek demanded. "Didn't you just say we were friends?"

"We are!"

"Last time I checked, friends don't try to kill friends," Alek said hotly.

"Clearly you aren't friends with enough Sith," Revan said.

Alek just stared at him. "If that's how Sith treat their friends-"

"That is how Sith treat everyone," Carth interrupted.

"Then even having just one would be too many."

"But I didn't try to kill you," Revan said.

"So you didn't have the ship I was on shot at?" Alek asked skeptically.

Revan looked awkward. "I think the Force might have been trying to kill you. But, then again, if it was you'd probably be dead. So…look, what happened was I was messing around and hit a coin with my lightsaber and it ricocheted a bunch and finally landed on the button to fire on your ship. So, like, my bad. But it was totally an accident."

Alek honestly had no idea how to react to that. "You could have killed me and it was a complete and utter accident?"

"While you could argue that it was reckless and irresponsible of me to be doing that on the bridge and not go deal with the ambush in person – though I've had dozens of people swear you were actually planning on trying to kill me – I think we can all agree it was kind of a freak accident and I couldn't have predicted that would happen."

Alek just shook his head.

"So…how do you feel about this whole 'I used to be a Sith' thing?" Bastila asked tentatively.

"Not great," Alek said honestly. "But why don't I remember being Malak? Why do I have other memories? I mean, maybe I just had amnesia from the brain damage but I don't remember being an amnesiac."

"The Jedi are very untrustworthy," Carth said. "They probably erased your memory and gave you a cover identity so they could use you against Revan."

Bastila threw him a scandalized look. "Whose side are you even on?"

"I think I'm on my own side because all of you are terrible," Carth said flatly, crossing his arms.

"Well as long as you're not on theirs," Revan said generously.

Carth glared at him. "I'm even more not on your side than theirs."

"Do you even understand what neutrality means?" Revan wondered. "That's like saying you're mildly on their side."

"No, it's not."

"Is Carth right?" Alek demanded. "Did you guys do that to me?"

"Um, did I personally do that to you?" Bastila asked, scratching the back of her neck uncomfortably. "No, no I did not."

"But the Jedi did."

"Well what were we supposed to do?" Bastila demanded. "Darth Malak was kind of evil. And apparently hiding something about having a greater motive which, if this is true and not a lie or delusion, is something we really need to know more about. And why would he help us? Even if he wanted vengeance against Revan he'd still want to conquer the galaxy and it's not like killing Revan was our only objective."

"Thanks, I think. Or maybe a sarcastic thanks. I don't know. But I feel a 'thanks' is definitely appropriate here," Revan said.

"You keep saying he," Alek pointed out.

"It's just hard to think of you two as the same person," Bastila explained. "You're like eighty percent less evil."

"It's true," Revan confirmed. "You are. But I wouldn't feel bad. The Sith Emperor did a number on me, too, before I realized that I didn't care enough to be evil. Kae might have kept trying to tell me that apathy was death but she was kind of a Sith so maybe she just meant that apathy was the death of evil. They should really try and teach it as an anti-Sith tool."

"I don't think you can teach people to not give a damn," Carth said.

"Not with that attitude you can't," Revan countered.

"I can't believe you did that to me, Bastila," Alek said angrily.

Bastila raised her hands. "Again, not me personally. They didn't even ask me about it."

"Would you have argued against it if they had?" Carth asked.

"They didn't even ask me about it," Bastila said again.

"You're as bad as the Sith! Worse, even, since apparently the Sith don't approve of what you did."

"One Sith doesn't, at least," Revan said. "Although, to be fair, I don't know how I'd feel if this was someone I didn't care about. Although T3 did tell me this seemed very similar to droid mind wipes and I know that those are some of the greatest acts of evil ever to be perpetuated against a sentient species."

"Do you have some kind of a droid fetish?" Carth asked uncertainly.

Revan looked confused. "No, why do you ask?"

Carth turned to Alek. "Does he have some kind of a droid fetish?"

"I, uh, don't remember but I don't think so," Alek said.

"Well I think so," Bastila said. "It was one of the first things I learned about Revan."

"It doesn't surprise me that the Jedi are spreading lies about me," Revan said nobly.

"I don't know, it seems pretty accurate," Carth said.

"Please, you met me ten minutes ago," Revan said. "And you haven't even seen me with a droid."

"And yet I still have the strangest impression," Carth said.

"How very odd."

"Malak, I understand how you feel violated right now," Bastila began.

Alek shuddered.

"What?" Bastila asked. "Do you not feel violated?"

"No, I do," Alek confirmed. "It's just that you calling me that sounds weird."

"You didn't react like that when Revan keeps doing it," Bastila said.

"That is true but he keeps doing it. And I guess subconsciously I'm used to it? Not from you, though," Alek said.

"Pretending you're Alek won't do any good," Revan said, annoyed.

"You said Alek was my real name," Alek pointed out.

"And you changed it years ago!"

"To hide from the Jedi or whatever, you don't even know why I did that," Alek said. "Maybe I'm kind of past the point of hiding from the Jedi."

"I still feel this is the result of your brainwashing," Revan complained.

"Duly noted."

"Why did the Jedi even pick such a lame alias anyway?" Carth wondered.

"We figured it would be enough that he had a jaw and wasn't a Sith Lord," Bastila said. "And maybe a similar name and background would take easier and if a real memory bled through it wouldn't be as strange if he were called Alek in the memory and, I don't know, Bendak Starkiller in your new life."

"I think it would be weird if he were called that no matter what," Revan said.

Carth nodded. "Especially since we met a guy named that and Alek totally killed him."

"How did you manage to regrow his jaw anyway?" Revan asked. "I didn't think it could be done."

"Do I look like a healer?" Bastila demanded. "Let me once again remind you that I wasn't actually supposed to have anything to do with this after bringing Malak to the Jedi except it turned out we had a Force bond which we discovered on Taris."

"Weren't you going to say something about how you get that I feel violated?" Alek asked.

Bastila nodded. "Right, that. I get that you feel violated but you kind of are responsible for the deaths of millions of people. I'm not going to say that that makes you a bad person or anything-"

"I am," Carth cut in.

"But excuse me if I don't think us erasing your memory is as bad as everything you've done over the past few years. You torture people! And the Jedi believe that no one deserves execution no matter what their crime."

"That is such bullshit," Revan complained. "You maybe don't feel the need to hold a public execution but you're fine killing people. You would have killed him if you could have and he wasn't going to just let himself be captured. You wanted to kill me."

"I didn't say we don't believe in killing," Bastila clarified. "Just execution."

"Yes but that sounds very different from what you mean," Revan protested.

Bastila shrugged. "I can't help that."

"This is why I don't miss the Jedi," Revan declared. "That and they were really bossy."

"You seem to miss having someone to tell you what to do," Alek told him.

"I miss having my friend," Revan said.

Alek looked away, a strange feeling in his gut.

"Besides, all we did was kill people," Revan said.

"Horribly sometimes and unnecessarily and sometimes with torture," Carth said.

"Right, that," Revan said, nodding. "It's not as bad as destroying someone's identity! That's just messed up."

"As long as the body is breathing, I think it's better," Bastila said. "Besides, what about those Jedi you tortured into being Sith?"

"I did not do this personally, mostly because I couldn't be bothered," Revan said. "But those people aren't under the impression they're other people! Even if I do acknowledge that was probably not a nice thing to do."

"Probably?" Bastila cried.

"I try not to deal in absolutes," Revan said.

"Sith always deal in absolutes," Bastila said.

Revan gazed pointedly at her. "Do they?"

"Why do you think I was trying to kill you? And why didn't you strike first? Was it really an accident what happened?" Alek asked.

"Oh, I don't really believe you were trying to kill me," Revan said. "You're my best friend, after all, whether you remember this or not."

"I really think that I should have some say in whether I'm your best friend or not," Alek told him.

"You do," Revan was quick to assure him. "But you don't remember anything about me so I don't think now's the best time to make these decisions. It's just everyone thought you were. Pretty much everyone. They thought you were getting annoyed of the fact that you had to browbeat me into doing pretty much anything and everyone always gave me all the credit because I'm charismatic and naturally brilliant even though you did all the work. And even though you were pretty much in charge, I had the title of master because we knew people would for some reason take me more seriously as a threat. I don't know. We never actually talked about it so those are my best guesses."

"That does sound like it would be annoying," Carth said.

"Well don't look at me, I didn't want to do any of this in the first place," Revan said.

"But you still did," Carth pointed out. "Apparently just because Malak was annoying."

"I'm not annoying," Alek denied.

"I find persistence annoying," Revan said. "And you know how to be to get what you want."

"If I really convinced you to be a Sith-"

"And go to war against the Mandalorians in the first place."

"Then I deserve a medal," Alek said. "I've spent time with you."

"Yeah, that's kind of unlikely," Bastila said.

"So now what?" Carth asks. "Now we know the truth and I'm never going to trust Malak again but we really do need to get back to the ship."

"Well, I-"Revan started to say.

Bastila charged forward. "I'll hold him off! You two go back to the ship! Find the Star Forge!"

"Wait, what?" Revan asked blankly.

She threw out her hand and the door between her and Alek and Carth slammed shut.

"Should we, I don't know, try and rescue her or something?" Alek asked. "Does she even need rescuing?"

"She's a Jedi and she can take care of herself," Carth said coldly. "I don't want you anywhere near Revan, Darth Malak."

Alek groaned. "Are you going to be all annoying about this?"

"You destroyed Telos! My wife is dead because of you!"

"I thought that was Saul Karath."

"Every problem I have ever or will ever have is entirely your fault!" Carth accused.

"I guess that's a yes."

"When you find out that someone you know is a genocidal maniac-"

"I'm really not," Alek protested.

"Then there's no such thing as an overreaction."


	6. Chapter 6

_"I just think that this is kind of a waste of time, to be honest," Revan said. They were alone and Revan was still wearing the robes but his face could be seen clearly._

_Malak rolled his eyes. "And since when do you care about that? You love wasting time. It saves you the trouble of having to actually do things."_

_"That's…" Revan struggled valiantly. "Fair."_

_"Very big of you to admit it," Malak said. "But come on, what would you do if you were ever captured?"_

_"Who am I being supposedly captured by?" Revan asked._

_"Does it matter?"_

_"Kind of, yeah," Revan said. "It would all be bad news but I think we can agree that being captured by Mandalorians is not the same as being captured by Huttese slavers or Sith or even the Jedi."_

_"I don't think the Hutts, being barely able to move, really go around capturing people," Malak said. "If you managed to get captured by a Hutt then, I'm sorry, but you kind of deserve whatever happens to you."_

_Revan made a face. "Captured by people working for Hutts, then."_

_"A little better. There are definitely people working for the Hutts and they do enslave people but none of them are Force sensitive or, if they are, they don't know how to use it because Force knows anyone with any training has a little better prospects in life. But getting captured by them when you're a fully trained Jedi, let alone as powerful a one as you, is still pretty embarrassing."_

_"I see you're in the mood to nitpick my potential captors," Revan noted._

_Malak inclined his head. "And I'm not quite done. Captured by the Sith? Revan, there aren't any Sith anymore."_

_"There could always be new ones," Revan said. "It doesn't take much, just a fall. People fall all the time. That's what led to the Jedi Council freaking out and banning pretty much everything thirty years ago."_

_"Yes but turning evil doesn't make you stronger," Malak said._

_Revan raised an eyebrow. "I think that that goes against the party line. That's supposed to be the whole point of turning evil."_

_"Well I don't know anything about that," Malak told him. "Just that, while you could get some fancy new powers if you're willing to tap into the dark side-"_

_"Or if you just think Force choking and shooting lightning out of your hands is awesome and very convenient," Revan interrupted._

_"…You know, I'm actually a bit concerned about that," Malak said._

_Revan shrugged. "Don't knock it until you've tried it."_

_"I'd rather not tempt myself."_

_"There's really nothing wrong about using Dark Side techniques," Revan said. "You just have to be careful it doesn't lead to you accidentally murdering babies or something like that."_

_"Accidentally…Revan, you seriously misuse that word," Malak accused. "And that's the kind of thing only Sith say."_

_"Only Sith," Revan said, "and me. Clearly. Because I'm not a Sith."_

_"Well be careful. I'd hate to see you fall," Malak said._

_Revan gave him a look and spread his arms. "Come on, Malak. Look at me. Do I really seem the type?"_

_Malak considered it. "You are distinctly lacking in ambition or a desire for power or even basic motivation. But still, it doesn't do to get complacent. You always hear that 'he was such a nice young man' when these things happen. But back to the point, embracing the Dark Side can get you some cool powers but it doesn't mean that they should be stronger than you are, Revan, so it would still be highly embarrassing."_

_"Yes, should I ever get captured I will be quite devastated by the embarrassment and wonder how I shall ever be able to show my face in public."_

_"And as for the Jedi…come on, Revan, I know we've had our disagreements with them and whatnot but capturing us?"_

_"You, uh, do remember the part where they issued arrest warrants for us and that led to you changing your name in the first place?" Revan asked rhetorically._

_"Arresting and capturing isn't really the same thing," Malak said._

_"They're exactly the same thing," Revan argued. "Just one sounds more legitimate than the other."_

_Malak shrugged. "They can't really do anything to us anymore, not since we went public. The Republic would never stand for it and the Jedi do need at least some goodwill from the Republic."_

_"Hurray for public opinion forcing them to leave us alone," Revan said sarcastically. "So are the Mandalorians the only people you'd approve of capturing us? Even though they're also not Force users?"_

_"The Mandalorians don't need the Force," Malak said. "And frankly the thought of them with it is a little bit terrifying. So yes, I suppose that's true. What would you do if you were captured by a Mandalorian or some other group that you really should know better than to get captured by?"_

_"Well if it's the second I guess I would just wallow in embarrassment for a while and try to deal with the shame," Revan said._

_Malak nodded. "A solid start. And then? Or as your first step if you were captured by real threats?"_

_Revan leaned back. "I don't know. I'd probably just hang out and not do anything to try and escape, maybe wait for rescue if I thought you guys would do that."_

_Malak looked aghast at him. "Revan!"_

_"What? Did you not want honesty? I don't think lying to you is very effective strategy planning."_

_"Well neither is not doing anything," Malak complained._

_"But now you know where I stand." Revan paused. "Though you've known me for how long? Really, this should not have come as any sort of surprise."_

_"What can I say? I'm an optimist," Malak said, sounding very much like he meant the other thing. "What if they try to torture you or something?"_

_"Well I'm definitely not done with that or with being killed," Revan said. "So I would take steps to avoid that."_

_"And then, what? You just sit quietly amidst all their corpses because you can't be bothered to leave?" Malak asked sarcastically._

_"Of course not," Revan said. "I'd definitely leave it if came to that."_

_"And you'd come back to us?"_

_Revan hesitated._

_"Revan!"_

_"Alright, alright, then I'd come back to you!"_

\----

Bastila honestly had no idea what to think of Revan. She had thought she had, back when she had first encountered him and even before that. He was the Dark Lord of the Sith. He was the impatient Jedi who had meant well but wouldn't listen to the wisdom of the Council and so, despite succeeding in his initial goal, became a ruthless monster bent on conquering the same Republic he had just saved. He was brilliant and charismatic and dangerous. He was the perfect cautionary tale.

He had a mysterious and never-ending supply of everything he could ever need to fight a war except for manpower and with his successes the recruits were falling all over themselves to sign up. He had never been seen in public without his dark and rather sinister get-up that completely covered his body and, strangely, there were no pictures of him before he had first petitioned the Council. Perhaps the fact he looked a little evil just with that outfit helped show the Council why they could not follow him. The fact that they had no idea what he looked like meant that Bastila never quite felt safe when he could be anywhere. Had been following them around the galaxy, even, though at least she hadn't actually seen him and thought nothing of it. He had been willing to kill his own best friend, the man who had followed him into the darkest depths and swore himself to him as his apprentice, just to try and kill a few Jedi.

Darth Revan was evil.

The confrontation on his ship hadn't been what she had expected. He seemed almost genuinely concerned for Alek and angry about what had been done to him. He had blamed a freak accident when he had been the one to just hand Malak over in the first place. Of course he hadn't expected Malak to survive but, in a lot of ways, he hadn't. Alek was a good person and he deserved better than Revan messing with his head like that.

Revan didn't sound like he was planning on killing them and had helped Alek remember at least something of who he used to be. He had had the gall to lecture Bastila on ethics and even got distracted by Carth accusing him of having a droid fetish.

But it was all an act. It just had to be.

Or so she kept reminding herself.

Revan walked into the room. Amazing how much like a normal person he looked, despite the fact that he had always been anything but. He could almost be called cute if he weren't a genocidal tyrant.

As usual, Bastila attempted to knock him over with the Force so she could try and escape or kill him or…or whatever didn't involve just waiting to see what he would do to her. As usual, nothing happened. The neural disruptor she had woken up to discover had been placed on her didn't cloud her mind like the one Brejik had used but it quite prevented her from feeling the Force. The days were dragging on since she had become Revan's captive but she had not yet found a way to escape.

Just because Revan hadn't laid a hand on her and hadn't had any of his people do so either since he knocked her out and placed that collar on her didn't mean anything. The fact he had given her a fully furnished guest room complete with access to the holonet meant nothing. The fact that she had been able to send a message to the Jedi Council explaining that she had been captured by Revan but, sadly, had no idea where the ship she was being held on was and they were now corresponding meant nothing.

She had even managed to communicate with Carth and try to explain about Alek but she could tell he still didn't trust her and suspected she was a Sith now. Oh well, it was better for her not to know anything anyway as long as she was in Revan's clutches. Alek she hadn't reached out to. Alek she didn't know what to say to. Maybe it was cowardice but Carth could tell Alek she was – somewhat given the circumstances – fine and Alek really didn't need the complication, either. It wasn't every day you found out you used to be evil, after all.

"You know, it's really unnerving when you do that," Revan said conversationally.

"Do what?" Bastila asked. "I wasn't doing anything. Or are you saying it's unnerving when I don't do things? Because I hate to break it to you but most people spend at least some of their time not doing things."

"Oh, everyone's always doing something," Revan argued. "Even if it's just staring vacantly into space or being unconscious or whatever."

"Was I staring vacantly into space then?" Bastila asked. "Was it really very upsetting for you?"

Revan shook his head. "No, you were looking at me as if you could flay me alive with your eyes and, you being a Jedi and all, that's slightly more worrisome than it would be if a non-Force Sensitive person did that to you. Not that I particularly enjoy it when anyone does it."

"I am not," Bastila said, crossing her arms.

"Yeah you are."

"I think I would know how I'm looking at you better than you would," she said.

"Are you so sure?" Revan asked. "After all, I'm the one who is being looked at. You don't have a mirror."

He did have a little bit of a point, as loath as Bastila was to admit it.

"That's oddly specific," she said instead.

Revan raised his hands. "Don't look at me. You're the one who is looking at me like that."

"I might want to kill you," Bastila said, "and I do, make no mistake about that, but I hardly want to flay you alive! What kind of monster do you think I am?"

"The kind who wants to flay me alive," Revan said as if it were obvious. "I did just say that."

"Has anyone ever looked at you like that and then tried to flay you alive?" Bastila asked. "How could you possibly specify exactly what that looks means? Or are you just being graphic for the sake of being graphic?"

"As a matter of fact, I have found myself in that predicament on four separate occasions," Revan informed her.

Bastila tried to be surprised but failed. "Well I would never do anything so…dark. A simple beheading or a stab through the chest would do fine."

"If you say so," Revan said skeptically.

A sudden wave of anger rushed over her. "Who are you to disbelieve me or to judge me at all? There's only one Sith in this conversation and it's not me!" No matter the struggles she'd had in recent months, watching Alek easily stay close to the light while she was having all sorts of doubts that she knew she had no time for and especially not when so much was at stake, she was not a Sith and she would not become one no matter what weird manipulation Revan was trying to pull on her.

"Well, yes, that is true but you know that the Sith hardly have a monopoly on being evil," Revan said reasonably. "In fact, you don't even have to be evil to be a Sith."

Bastila rolled her eyes. "Is this just the most obvious ploy to try and convert me to be a Sith ever?"

"Well I don't know about that," Revan said. "After all, I have seen some very half-assed ploys in my life. Most of mine are, in fact, because to do otherwise is just such a waste of effort and frankly people are lucky I bothered to do it at all."

"Are they?" Bastila asked rhetorically. She didn't understand why he kept pretending that he couldn't be bothered to do anything. The consistency of his act was admirable but looking at his accomplishments it was clear just how untrue it was. "Are they really, Darth Revan?"

"Yes."

"Sith are evil. It's pretty simple. The Sith are people who have embraced the Dark Side of the Force and started killing people for fun or for power and torturing people for kicks. Or, I guess, for conversion which really isn't any better," Bastila said.

"Sith are an ancient people who were banished long ago and, yes, are mostly evil as we understand it or at least are steeped in the Dark Side," Revan corrected. "There are Dark Side adherents who call themselves Sith but aren't really Sith any more than either of us could go be rodians or whatever. And then there are people who are following the leadership of people designated as Sith and so identify as Sith even though they don't have any Force abilities and may be perfectly lovely people in it for a steady paycheck, a more fabulous uniform, and the somehow ever-growing probability of winning this war."

"Is that how you live with yourself?" Bastila demanded. "Telling yourself that you're not really a Sith?"

Revan shook his head. "No, actually I've never needed to justify my actions to myself at all and have never had any problem living with myself."

Bastila just shook her head in disbelief. "That cannot possibly be true."

"Well you seem to think I'm evil incarnate," Revan pointed out. "Why don't you explain to me why you think I could be both super evil and also have a problem with a guilty conscience?"

Bastila said nothing.

"I can't explain why I'm not besieged by my conscience any more than you or anyone else could explain to me why you are when you do things," Revan said. "Personally, I feel that having regrets are a total waste of energy and so I don't bother with them."

"That is so lazy!" Bastila burst out, forgetting for a minute that she didn't buy any of this.

"I have been called that before," Revan said. "Usually by Malak."

"What do you call chasing him around the galaxy, then, if not regret?" Bastila challenged.

"Maybe that comes close," Revan admitted reluctantly. "Because I hadn't wanted it to happen and it was kind of my fault. Well, mine and the Force but I'm not quite so far gone that I'm going to blame all of my problems on the Force being sentient and out to get me even though I could probably make a much better case than Kae."

"What were you even trying to do?" Bastila demanded. "Seduce him back towards the dark side?"

Revan coughed. "Seduce? Really, Bastila. I just…I don't know. I like spending time with him. I never would have let him talk me into all of this if I hadn't."

"I thought you said that was just him being annoying," Bastila said.

Revan shrugged. "I can usually find a way to stay away from annoying people."

"Let's talk about 'all of this'," Bastila suggested.

Revan made a face. "Let's not."

"Or you can go," Bastila said, nodding towards the door.

Revan sighed. "I assume you're talking about the True Sith? There's not much to say. Talking with some Mandalorians while we were defeating them and then shortly afterwards, we learned that there was this mysterious group that convinced them that the Republic would be a real challenge worthy of them and they should attack. And I know that that sounds highly suspicious and whatnot but the Mandalorians didn't really care about ulterior motives or anything and they just wanted to go fight. So they attacked and I guess the Jedi Council wasn't entirely wrong about there being a larger threat behind the Mandalorians."

Bastila smirked. "The Council was right, huh? How very interesting."

"About that, yes," Revan said, annoyed. "But I was right, too. If we had done nothing, like they suggested, the Mandalorians would have killed everyone. We couldn't just do nothing until the real threat showed itself because if we were all killed the real threat wouldn't have to even bother. It was clear the Republic wasn't enough to stop them, not without us. They just weren't as badass."

"And now look where we are," Bastila said, throwing her hands in the air. "Maybe you don't care anymore since you're evil and all but you're doing just as much damage as the Mandalorians. It's not just magically okay because you're the one doing the conquering and you inexplicably still have a very high approval rate in the Republic."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that, too," Revan admitted. "I guess people love a hero. And a winner. And a bad boy. It's kind of unhealthy but whatever. And I'm not doing half the damage the Mandalorians were! They just wanted to kill everyone and, as I've explained to literally everybody who has shown the slightest bit of interest or who theoretically work for me, the point is to conquer as quickly as possible while keeping the populations strong and the infrastructure intact."

Bastila shrugged. "So you don't want to rule over a pile of rubble. That doesn't make you a good person."

"I find such labels to be quite dull."

"I've found that only terrible people hold that kind of belief," Bastila said.

"That is a terrible standard to judge a person's morality on, whether or not they approve of simplistic morality labels like that," Revan said.

"All I know is that it's a little suspicious why someone would adopt such a belief," she said.

"That or they just hold certain philosophical beliefs," Revan said. "Not everything is about crass self-interest."

"Says the man who decided to go conquer a war-torn Republic because he felt like it."

The outraged look on Revan's face was priceless. "I most certainly did not!"

"…But you did," Bastila said, nonplussed.

"Yeah but that was only because Malak seemed to think that, as protectors of the Republic, we should really go investigate this secret threat thing," Revan said.

"Why not go tell the Council about it?" Bastila asked.

Revan laughed. "Are you kidding me? Being told they were right about a true threat, you know that all they'd do is insist we wait. Wait and wait and wait and hide from the Dark Side until the Sith were right at our door. We needed to know more. I didn't really want to do it but I knew he was right. So we went out and found an entire Sith Empire out there, wanting revenge or whatever for being exiled or something. The Sith Emperor is several hundred or thousand years old. I wasn't really paying attention. All I know was that he was stronger than Malak and he did something weird with the Force that turned us evil."

Bastila nodded. "I remember you telling us that. Of course, you also claimed it wore off on you."

Revan shrugged. "Feel free to disagree, of course, but I felt actively evil for at least a week afterwards and then I started wondering why I was putting all this time and energy into being evil and really wasn't that such a waste? Malak still wanted to conquer the Republic and I could see a certain sense in trying to prepare them if we were going to do it anyway and we really had put a lot of work into saving it. I suppose I could have tried to snap him out of it but, well…"

"If I believed any of this I would think you were terrible," Bastila said frankly.

"You already do," Revan pointed out.

"Well, terrified in a different way," she amended. "And the Sith Emperor was just stronger than Malak? Not you?"

"I have no idea," Revan said. "I didn't feel up to fighting him. He did succeed in turning me briefly evil so perhaps."

"And you still didn't feel the need to warn anyone?" Bastila demanded. "Even though telling people would have to be easier than waging a war?"

"Oh, come on. Would you believe me?"

"You don't have to be believed to at least get the story out there!" Bastila exclaimed. "Give people a chance."

"I would have gotten around to it eventually," Revan said indifferently.

Bastila made a mental note to inform the Council of this new development the moment Revan left. Chances were good they wouldn't believe it but they could at least look into it. "Why didn't he kill you guys?"

"I guess he decided he'd rather turn us evil," Revan said. "I didn't ask. He sent us after the Star Forge, you know. Fortunately, evil is ambitious and Malak didn't want to hand it over to the Sith like we were supposed to. You wouldn't like what would happen if he had."

"What is the Star Forge?" Bastila asked.

Revan hesitated.

"Oh, come on! You've told me this much."

"That's true," he conceded. "Okay, it's a factory that somehow creates and creates without us needing to provide the raw material. It's very weird and I don't know how it works but it's incredibly useful. Its Light Side robes are an abomination, possibly because when Malak created them he was very evil, but they made some nice upgrades to the robes I was wearing."

Bastila nodded slowly, digesting this. "What are you planning on doing with me?"

Revan tilted his head. "Pardon?"

"If any of what you told me is true, and I'll admit I'm skeptical, then I'm already confused enough what you're doing and why since Malak was captured. But you captured me and I don't know what you're planning. I expected torture or something, maybe some persuasion about why I should join you," she said. "I know you've done it before. Or at least had it done. But you just come by and talk every once in a while and unless you're doing a long con I don't think I'm in any real danger of falling. And don't tell me making me fall would be too troublesome! You captured me for some reason and I want to know what that is."

Revan coughed. "Well, the way I remember it, you threw yourself at me."

Bastila's eyes flashed. "I did not!"

"You kind of did. Carth asked what was going to happen now that we had cleared up that misunderstanding about my best friend and I started to answer and you just attacked me and told Malak and Carth to run for it," Revan said. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Don't even pretend you weren't going to capture and kill or turn us all," Bastila said. "I know you."

"I really feel like you don't," Revan said. "Despite plenty of evidence right in front of you."

"And don't say I threw myself at you!"

"But you did," Revan protested.

"That makes it sound like I came on to you," Bastila complained.

Revan looked distinctly uncomfortable. "Look, you're very beautiful and smart and I like arguing with you or I wouldn't keep putting myself through this. You may not have a choice about seeing me but I could literally never see you and it would be very easy. One day, if we both live through this and you stop looking at me as if I am the source of all evil in this galaxy, I think we should absolutely date. But in the meantime, I don't believe in dating prisoners. It's just too problematic."

"Dat-has that even come up? A prisoner tried to date you?" Bastila couldn't believe it.

" 'Date' may or may not be the right word but, yes, that is an issue I've had to face," Revan said. "Lest you think I'm hopelessly narcissistic, do note that 'trying to seduce me so they can escape or I'll let them go' is one of those issues that makes me have this policy."

"I wasn't trying to seduce you," Bastila said.

"And I wasn't trying to accept so we're even," Revan said.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure you actually believe me."

"Does it matter?" Revan asked.

"Yes!"

"Alright then, I believe you," Revan said solemnly.

"I'm not sure I believe that," Bastila told him.

Revan threw back his head and groaned. "If you're going to disbelieve all my attempts to assure you I believe you then this is going to take a while."

Bastila looked pointedly at the clock on the wall. "I have time."


	7. Chapter 7

_"Do you know what's weird?" Revan asked._

_"The fact that you're wearing your ridiculous get-up underneath that pressure suit?" Malak asked._

_"No," Revan said. "That part actually makes perfect sense."_

_"There was nobody in the room with you when you put that on but me and it's not like I don't already know what you look like," Malak pointed out. "And there won't be anyone in the room with us when we take them off. If nothing else, we can request that people leave. It's not such a strange request and they have no reason not to listen. Especially if you use the Force on them."_

_"Eh, that always works better with eye contact," Revan said._

_Malak took a moment to process that. "Revan, you literally never have eye contact with anyone anymore."_

_"Now you're just misusing the word literally."_

_"Not really," Malak said. "But fine, almost literally. And it's still not as bad as you and the fact you seem to think 'accidentally' means 'fully deliberately but now I recognize this was not something I should have done'."_

_"I didn't say I couldn't do it without eye contact," Revan said. "Just that for the really big things I should probably make eye contact."_

_"Really big things…like requesting people leave us alone to take our suits off?" Malak asked challengingly._

_Revan sighed loudly. "Why should I have taken off what I was wearing? There's no reason not to wear clothes under these suits! And probably several sanitation reasons to wear them. And it's not like you took off anything you're wearing, either."_

_"Well, no," Malak conceded. "But then again I'm not wearing robes that completely cover my body including my face. How you even see through that is beyond me."_

_"I'm very talented," Revan said._

_"I had heard a rumor to that effect," Malak said dryly._

_"So really, this is just about you – once again – criticizing my brilliant fashion choices." It was ridiculous how put-out he sound._

_"No it's not," Malak said. "And as for brilliant…Revan, you wear literally the same thing every day. All day."_

_"I have multiple copies!" Revan protested. "It's not like I just put on literally the same robe and mask! How disgusting would that be?"_

_"It kind of makes it stranger now that you are wearing different things but they all happen to be copies of the same outfit."_

_"It's a great outfit."_

_"So great you'll wear nothing but that every day for the rest of your life?" Malak asked skeptically._

_"I wouldn't go that far. But I wear plenty of other things. I've got something on under this now."_

_"Yet another layer of clothing?"_

_"Layers are very fashionable and practical and keep you warm," Revan said. "I appreciate your concern but it's starting to get a little creepy."_

_"Sure, Revan."_

_"What is your issue with my outfit anyway? Other than you think I should change it up some. But would wearing the same or similar body-concealing outfit in different colors or some different styles really be that much better? I think it might make it a little weird."_

_"You're a little late if you don't want it to be weird," Malak said._

_"You already know why I have to-"_

_"Choose to."_

_"Wear it," Revan said. "Don't want to be recognized, after all. I need a break from all this being in charge or whatever sometimes."_

_"Well it also looks kind of evil."_

_"Oh, it does not," Revan disagreed._

_"I see you in it more than you see yourself in it," Malak pointed out._

_"It's maybe a little imposing but it's an outfit. How can an outfit be evil?"_

_"I'm pretty sure it's radiating Dark Side energy."_

_"You're just imagining it," Revan said. "And anyway, what about you? You wear the same armor all the time."_

_"It's not the same thing," Malak said._

_"Of course it isn't," Revan said mockingly._

_"First of all, it's an armor and armor is for protection and not for fashion."_

_"It can be both," Revan said. "Besides, what do you call what I wear?"_

_"It may have some protective abilities but it's not armor," Malak said. "And you only wear it to hide your identity anyway."_

_"And because it's stylish."_

_"And I have a few armors I cycle between," Malak said._

_"That's because you can't find armor as sweet as mine."_

_"It's not armo-" Malak cut himself off, shaking his head. "Alright, Revan, I give up."_

_"I doubt that," Revan muttered._

_"What is weird if it's not your weird robe and mask thing? You know people have started speculating on why you do that?"_

_Revan nodded. "Oh, I know. Some think I have some sort of skin condition, some people think I'm hideously ugly, some people think my true identity is something scandalous and so I'm hiding…the list goes on."_

_"My favorite is that you're a Falleen or a Zeltron and are thoughtfully covering yourself to protect us from your pheromones. Or that you're possibly asexual and don't want to be bothered by everyone's reaction to your pheromones."_

_"That does sound more like me," Revan admitted. "The not wanting to be bothered bit, not the asexual bit. Although being asexual might save me a lot of time and energy."_

_Malak shuddered. "Oh, Force forbid. If you didn't go out and serial date you wouldn't do anything voluntarily that didn't involve droids!"_

_"And that might get a little weird," Revan agreed. "Fine, I guess it's not like I can just change my sexuality anyway. But to answer your earlier question, about what I thought was strange, we're under so much water pressure that for our convenience they've provided us with pressure suits."_

_"For our convenience?" Malak repeated. "Revan, we would literally die under here without them."_

_"Maybe if we let our concentration lapse."_

_"No, I mean there's no way we wouldn't," Malak said. "You can't just use the Force to not get crushed or drown down here, you know."_

_"Agree to disagree."_

_"Well let's not test it at any rate! Honestly!" Malak exclaimed._

_"Yeah, that sounds like a lot of work hence why I'm wearing the suit," Revan said. "Even if it would be easier to stay away from the firaxa and to have to use less Force to move at a reasonable speed without them."_

_"Do you think it's true that if they so much as touch us with any part of them we will instantly die?" Malak asked._

_Revan shrugged. "I honestly don't know. But why risk it? And even if they can't, it's not like we can really use our lightsabers and if they get that close they could take a bite out of us."_

_"Still, it's pretty weird. But not what you were talking about, right?"_

_Revan shook his head. "No."_

_"Then what was it?"_

_"I was just going to say how weird it was we're down here, surrounded by all this water, and yet we're completely dry."_

_Malak stopped walking and stared at him._

_"What?"_

_"Who are you?" Malak wondered. "How do you even?"_

_"It's a gift."_

\----

Alek was going out of his mind with worry. It had been weeks before they had all been able to pull themselves together enough to head to the final planet. Bastila was gone, Carth didn't trust him, Alek didn't trust himself…strangely no one else seemed to have a problem with who he was.

Jolee apparently already knew about it and had known exactly who Revan was when they had seen him on Tatooine. Zaalbar said he had sworn a life debt to him and getting the name possibly wrong (though apparently Alek was the name he was born with) didn't change anything. Mission had a worryingly indifferent response to finding out he used to be a genocidal maniac. Canderous was just upset he hadn't gotten to meet Revan and wished he'd been the one who had amnesia and was traveling with them instead although he supposed Revan would be too powerful to let something like that happen to him. Alek didn't have the heart to tell him that he highly doubted Revan would be motivated enough to try and save the galaxy, even with amnesia. He still didn't understand where his strange disinterest in everything came from. Juhani remembered him and Revan (but mostly Revan, though Alek had to wonder if that was true or if that was just how everyone tended to remember anything Revan was present for) saving her from being sold into slavery once and compared the time she thought she was evil for five minutes to Malak's reign of terror.

Carth's response was the only response that made sense. He didn't trust Alek and he hated him for destroying Telos and killing his wife and sending his son into the arms of the Sith. Even if they had saved him now, it didn't erase what had happened. It hurt as Carth was a friend but Alek understood. He could barely even look at himself in the mirror these days.

He didn't understand what Bastila thought when she looked at him. Her reactions when they first met made a lot more sense now (as did the fact she had accidentally called him Malak a couple of times) but she had come to him for advice about not falling to the Dark Side. Had being tied to him been dragging her down? Just because he couldn't remember the darkness, couldn't feel the darkness anymore, didn't mean it was no longer there. They had been friends, hadn't they? Or was it all an act? He couldn't blame her if it was. She had to stay close to him and she was so young for such a responsibility as keeping a former Sith in line and in the dark while chasing after his lost memories.

And what was Revan even doing to her? Even if Alek couldn't believe Revan was personally torturing her (but, as a Sith, even an uninspired one, surely Revan had some dark deeds to his name) that didn't mean that she wasn't being tortured and it was all so he would have a chance to escape. All so he wouldn't fall back under Revan's sway and become the person that he used to be.

They had drifted around aimlessly for a while after that revelation. In addition to Carth and Alek needing time to process (How could he just be a Sith? How did that happen to someone?), Revan knew where they were going. He always knew where they were going and last time they had been captured. Even if Manaan was neutral, nothing was stopping the Sith from picking them up entering or leaving the planet. But eventually, they did still have their mission to complete, despite the risks. The war couldn't be won without taking down the Star Forge.

Canderous and Alek were alone when they walked into the Cantina and Alek saw a sight that made his blood boil.

His hand twitched to his lightsaber. "You!"

"Hey now, Alek! I understand the need to kill people, believe me, but that is not a good idea on this terrible waste of a planet," Canderous warned him. "The Selkath have already put us on trial like four times."

"None of that was actually my fault," Alek protested.

Canderous nodded. "As we told the court."

"No, I mean more than…never mind. You don't understand, Canderous. It's him."

"Him?" Canderous repeated, puzzled. He looked over and saw the man that Alek was glaring at and his eyes lit up. "Him? As in…him him?"

"If by 'him him' you mean his estranged best friend Revan then yes, that's me," Revan said. He was sitting casually on a barstool and watching them calmly.

"You have some nerve-" Alek snarled.

"Yeah, in a minute, Alek," Canderous said, practically knocking him over in his haste to get to Revan. "Wow, I can't believe it. I mean, I know that Carth and Alek were telling us about how they met you on the Leviathan and Alek mentioned he ran into you a few times and Jolee was even a friend of yours but…damn."

Revan smiled at him. "I take it you're a fan?"

Canderous nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, yes. A lot of people, I know, are surprised that we Mandalorians are such big Revan fans considering that you are pretty much single-handedly responsible for our defeat-" at this Revan gave Alek a strangely meaningful look "- but we never resent meeting a true warrior. Defeating all of us when you were saddled with such pathetic soldiers just goes to prove how amazing you are. And now you're working to conquer the Republic yourself! I'm so happy for you."

"Trust me, I've met plenty of Mandalorians in my time and I understand why they like me," Revan said. "I understand that better than I understand why other elements do, to be honest."

"And Alek was really your best friend once upon a time?" Canderous asked. "I find it hard to believe, to be honest. He's just not…you know."

"He's a little different," Revan agreed. "But trust me, when he really finds something worth fighting for he's pretty unstoppable. Kind of inconvenient if you don't want to go out and join in his crusade."

"I'm sure you're here to talk to Alek and I don't want to get in your way," Canderous said. "I'm sure we'll see each other later when we actually fight but I just wanted to get the chance to meet you."

Revan nodded. "It's always good to get a chance to meet a Mandalorian. I always liked your people."

"Even though we were conquering the Republic?"

Revan shrugged. "To complain about that at this point would be kind of hypocritical, don't you think?"

Canderous laughed. "Now that is an excellent point. Be seeing you, Revan!" With that, he turned and left Alek to face Revan alone.

Alek's first thought was to leave, just get out of there. Nothing good could happen from spending more time with Revan and he still didn't understand his motives. He claimed he just wanted to spend time with his friend who couldn't remember him. As much as Alek had liked Revan before (and as horrified he had been by that once he knew who he really was and who Revan was), it wasn't enough to stop him from resenting him for being a Sith and for getting him involved with the Sith.

That was what everyone had said had happened, at any rate, even if the flashes that had been coming with increasing regularity had suggested it was more the other way around. Even if he were being charitable towards Revan and trusting the personality he was showing here and in the maybe memories, it made sense that Revan wanted Malak back so he wouldn't have to half-assedly lead the war effort. And Alek wasn't ready to be Malak, to be a Sith, and he didn't think he ever would be. Not again.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to join me?" Revan asked eventually.

Almost dazedly, Alek plopped down into the seat beside Revan. "Why are you here?"

"Things got a little…messy when we left off," Revan said delicately. "I wanted to see how you were handling, well, the fact that you now know who you are."

"I should kill you."

"I may not have come if it were any other planet," Revan said. He cocked his head. "Korriban might have been okay. But this is Manaan. You know that you can't."

Alek clenched his hands so hard that it started to hurt. "What happened to Bastila?"

Revan looked awkward. "It's a bit of a funny story."

_"What happened to Bastila?"_

"She's fine," Revan assured him.

Alek laughed harshly. "Fine? She's your prisoner!"

"What kind of captor do you take me for?" Revan asked. "If the answer you're thinking of isn't 'reluctant and kind of inept' then I have to say that you're wrong."

"There's no great way to hold a captive," Alek said. "It's all pretty awful."

"I'm not torturing her, if that's what you're thinking," Revan said. "I mean, I'm cutting off her ability to use the Force, of course, or she'd probably kill us all but other than that, she's…fine. Not happy to be a captive but that just shows she's still thinking clearly."

"I don't believe you," Alek said flatly. It was ridiculous.

"Then why did you ask?"

"I wanted to see if you'd tell me the truth."

"And…what?" Revan asked. "Would you believe me if you said I had her up on a rack and was hitting her with Force Lightning while preaching about the merits of the Dark Side to her?"

Alek folded his arms. "Maybe. Though I don't trust Sith in general."

"Too bad because that's not what I'm doing. I didn't even want to capture her, you know, but she didn't give me much of an option."

"Now you're getting into victim blaming," Alek accused.

Revan paused. "I can see where you'd get that but you were there and she really did rush at me while you guys left. What was I supposed to do, let her kill me?"

"It would have been very thoughtful of you," Alek said.

"I guess I'm just not that thoughtful then. Listen, Alek, I can't imagine what you must think of me now."

"Can't you?" Alek asked coldly.

"I don't…" Revan trailed off and shook his head. "I don't see the world the way other people do. I never have. If it were me, I don't think I'd be all that upset. A little confused how I could have gone off and ended a war and conquered half the Republic but it wouldn't devastate me, not the way I suspect it's devastating you."

"How can it not devastate you?" Alek demanded. "Regardless of how clean your hands are personally, millions of people have suffered and died because of you. You were one of the leaders! And once I was captured, you're still doing this! Oh, wait, it's all my fault so I'm the monster who shouldn't be able to live with myself."

"I didn't say that," Revan said flatly.

"So what is it?"

"I don't know," Alek said, frustrated. "Something."

"I don't know how to explain it any more than you can explain your position to me. I'm just not the person who gets bothered by things like that."

"Things like what?" Alek challenged. "Genocide? Widespread death and torture?"

"Yes," Revan said simply.

"You're a terrible person."

"I've been getting that a lot lately," Revan said sighing. "If I still had the same beliefs but hadn't done anything objectively evil then would I still be so terrible?"

"No," Alek admitted. "Still not a good person but you have done these things."

Revan closed his eyes and sighed.

"Look, if you don't want to sit here listening to me hate you then don't," Alek said. "Leave. Do me a favor."

"You could leave, too," Revan said, opening his eyes.

"What are you trying to get?" Alek demanded. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Do you remember?" Revan asked.

"I know who I was," Alek said quietly.

"But do you remember?"

Alek looked away.

"Malak?"

"Don't call me that!" he shouted.

People turned around to stare at him but he ignored them.

"Fine," Revan said.

"Fine?" Alek asked suspiciously. "It's never just 'fine'. You always just ignore me and keep doing that. What, is making a scene the secret to finally getting you to listen to me?"

"You were born Alek. You went by Malak for reasons I still feel are a bit confusing and nonsensical but basically boiled down to some sort of protest against the Jedi Council for not getting involved in the Mandalorian War. I guess you liked it too much to change it back or something. But now that you know who you really are, I don't really care what you call yourself," Revan said. "I might slip up but I will try."

Alek forced down the irrational urge to thank him. It was his own damn name and he shouldn't have to thank anyone for finally agreeing to respect that.

"If they had given you a different name like, I don't know, Joran, or something I'd probably not enable you clinging to your false identity but you are Alek. So while I am suspecting that you're clinging to your false identity, your name at least is real."

"And what would you have me do instead?" Alek demanded. "I'm remembering in bits and pieces, almost every damn time I close my eyes but it's not helping! So many of the people I once knew are gone or look at me like I'm going to snap. I can't. And I'm not going to go back to being your apprentice so if that's what you're looking for then you can just forget it."

"It's not," Revan said quietly. "Alek, you're more than just a Sith. You don't have to be afraid of your own identity."

"Who's afraid?"

"I don't…I don't know what I expected when I came here," Revan said. "I did anticipate I would need the fact that Manaan is strictly neutral. Maybe it would be easier for you to process this if you didn't have to see me. But I just didn't want you to decide that Malak is dead and you're actually Alek whoever who did whatever before becoming a Jedi. Because that's not true. You don't have to be a Sith but your whole life isn't just evilness that needs to be wiped away if you're to be 'redeemed' or whatever."

Alek laughed harshly. "That's not what anyone else thinks."

"Anyone else doesn't know a damn thing about the Sith," Revan said bluntly. "Trust me-"

"I did," Alek said quietly. "And look where we are."

A briefly pained expression crossed Revan's face. "You remember and you're going to remember more. Don't write off everything and be their puppet. Don't listen to me if you don't want to, be whatever you want to be. Go back and be a loyal Jedi if you want. But don't pretend that their shoddy little cover identity is the real you. Don't let them take away your very identity, Alek! I'm so angry I could kill someone and you don't even seem to care."

"Of course I care. How could I not care? The whole point of this conversation is how much I care!"

But Revan shook his head. "You're not caring about the important part."

Alek's temper flared. "Who are you to tell me what's important about this?"

"You're upset because you found out that you used to be a Sith and all of the terrible things that you've done and had done," Revan said. "It's understandable. You were just minding your own business, convinced you were never part of the Dark Side, and then you had it just dropped on you one day."

"By you," Alek said pointedly.

Looking tired, Revan nodded. "By me. But because you're so horrified and guilty, you don't even seem to care about the fact that the Jedi destroyed your very identity and just rewrote your life! I mean, I know you briefly brought it up with Bastila and she was full of the Council's excuses as usual but nothing that you did will ever make what they did okay."

"I thought about it," Alek said. "And, excuse or not, it just seemed…how can I complain what they did to me when I killed millions of people? At some point, when you reach a certain level of evil, you really lose the right to complain."

"No you don't," Revan said sharply. "If we just let anything happen to people because, oh, they're 'bad guys' then what will society devolve into?"

Alek laughed. "It's rich of you to ask that!"

"Whether or not people were better off dying themselves or just having their identity destroyed is a philosophical question and there's no need to compare atrocities. It's not a contest. But what you did doesn't justify what they did, not at all," Revan said hotly.

"Look at it this way," Alek said, "all the evil I did and I'm free to walk around? They made me a Jedi again! I highly doubt when this is all over they'll arrest me for my crimes. I'm still alive and I'm not being really held accountable for what happened."

"It was hardly out of the goodness of their heart," Revan snapped. "They needed you. They could never find the Star Forge or even know about it without you. And even now they need you to try and remember what happens next once you follow those coordinates."

"So what if they had ulterior motives? So what if I spent a couple months not having to live with myself? They saved me from the Dark Side, however sideways their methods were, and they saved my life. And now I'm even starting to remember. I got off really well."

"They never intended for you to remember. I know them. They're afraid that just remembering will send you running off to conquer the Republic again," Revan said.

Alek nodded. "I'll just have to prove them wrong then." He sighed. "Revan, you don't get it. I don't entirely remember what I was before but I know that, now, I don't want to be the kind of person who would bring about the death and destruction that I know I did. Is that part of the brainwashing or does it make sense that I'm thankful that that's not me anymore."

Revan frowned. "It makes sense. You really didn't want to be evil, you know."

"What happened? How did I fall?"

"Oh, so now you're willing to believe me?" Revan asked.

"Maybe," Alek said. "I haven't heard the story yet. And no one else can tell me." Truthfully, he was worried what would happen when those memories returned. They had turned him evil once. Would they be able to do that again? Maybe if he knew he'd be better prepared to deal with them.

"We met the Sith Emperor," Revan explained. "I don't know how much you've heard or remembered so I'll briefly recap. We heard something had goaded the Mandalorians into attacking and went looking for this hidden threat. The Council was convinced it was out there and, no matter what they thought of us, we weren't content to just tackle the obvious threat and ignore the insidious one. We found the exiled Sith Empire from who even knows how long ago. We found the Sith Emperor. He was stronger than anyone we'd ever encountered. He's building up his forces to eventually attack the Republic and sent us after the Star Forge. He…corrupted us. It's hard to explain. It was like having darkness shoved into your very soul and it doesn't come on all at once. We went, we found the Star Forge, and you weren't so far gone as to think that giving it to people who wanted to destroy the Republic was a good plan. You wanted to try and save the Republic but we were at a loss for how to do so. The Republic hadn't even been able to stand against the Republic."

"So, what?" Alek asked. "We decided to conquer the Republic to make it stronger?"

"It would be okay if we lost, too," Revan said. "It might be easier for us if we lost. Of course we knew there would be consequences and we couldn't really go back unless we decided to 'redeem' ourselves but it was a sacrifice we had to make. If we lost, it just meant the Republic was ready."

"So if I was turned evil, why weren't you?" Alek asked.

Revan leaned back, visibly surprised. "You don't think I was turned evil? I was led to believe that you thought I was quite evil. You did call me terrible just a few minutes ago."

"Well you are," Alek said. "But somehow I can't look at you and see 'evil.'"

"I'll take that as a compliment, I suppose," Revan said. "And I was turned evil. Just…not as much as you."

Alek tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

"Evil takes energy," Revan explained. "Back before this started you were driven to save people and uphold the Jedi ideal. I…have morals, I'm not saying I don't, but I kind of really wasn't. So when the Sith Emperor poured that darkness into me I was kind of lackadaisical about that, too. I didn't want to go out and kill people. I didn't want to do much of anything. Your values still shown through, I think. If the Emperor hadn't influenced you maybe you'd have tried to save the Republic another, less drastic way but he did. My values shown through in that I felt a little evil for a while but then it mostly wore off. Does that make me worse than if I actually wanted to conquer the Republic? I did believe that what we were doing was our best chance."

"Why didn't we just tell everybody what had happened?" Alek demanded.

"It just seems kind of unlikely," Revan explained. "We didn't think they'd believe us. We didn't want to waste time trying to convince people. A little evil? Perhaps. But as things stand now, the Republic has had no choice but to get battle-ready and the Jedi, too. And there's all our resources, of course."

"Don't say 'our'," Alek said. "I'm not on your side."

"My mistake," Revan said, sounding a little strained. "It's not some sort of moral failing that this happened, you know. Plenty of perfectly good people fall to the Dark Side and you were one of them. And your impetus was stronger than most. Do you know how many people fall because they want power or are sick of the Jedi's rules or they fall in love and it doesn't work out? At least we literally had the darkness forced into us. And while that may not change the ending, it's still something and I hope that makes it easier to live with."

"I still did it."

"Yeah, you did. And so did I."

"Why did you come here?" Alek asked again.

"I guess I just wanted to see you again," Revan said. "We didn't get a chance to really talk when I told you the truth, even if you had been less in shock, what with Bastila and her sacrifice and that Carth guy. I wanted to clear things up, as much as I was able to."

"You're going to be there, though, when we come for the Star Forge," Alek said. It wasn't a question. He knew Revan would be. Just as he knew that the smart thing for Revan to do would be to kill him right then but that he wasn't going to do it. Maybe it really was the memory of friendship. Truthfully, as angry as he still was, Alek didn't think he wanted to kill Revan, either. But wasn't that what being a Jedi was all about? Wasn't that what he had done before? Sacrifice? This war couldn't continue, no matter what Malak and Revan had once set out to do.

Revan nodded. "Yes. And you're going to try and stop me. But I don't know that there will be a lot of time then. We'll have bigger priorities. And we always knew that it could end badly, probably would end badly, and no matter what people seem to think I wasn't the one to drag you into anything but…not even that. I did make my own choices, don't think you forced me. But I just wanted to…I don't know. I am glad that I came."

Alek couldn't say the same, not just then. "This meeting could certainly have gone worse."

Revan managed a smile at that before hopping off his barstool and heading out of the Cantina.

Alek took a few moments to steady himself before turning his efforts back to stopping the man he could almost call a friend.


	8. Chapter 8

_"I don't know, Revan, I think that maybe we should keep our word to the Rakatan and kill that rival faction," Malak said. "They sounded pretty bad from their description."_

_"Of course they did," Revan said. "They were trying to convince us to go kill them. They were hardly going to tell us that they seek to become one with nature or whatever."_

_"We could at least go check them out and see what they're like," Malak said. "We did agree to do it, after all."_

_"I don't actually feel obligated to do what I say I will do," Revan said. "Especially if I made that promise under duress."_

_"But…you didn't," Malak said._

_"Sure I did. And so did you."_

_"I didn't feel under any duress," Malak said._

_"Maybe your duress-sensing abilities aren't very developed," Revan suggested. "He told us we wouldn't get to go into that temple we needed to get into to turn off the disruptor beam until we went to go kill them. And maybe I talked them into just taking our word that we would absolutely go kill them later and letting us into the temple now. But I feel it's probably their fault we even needed help getting past a barrier to get there so I don't feel obligated to reward them for their attempts to keep us out."_

_"Well, that might be true," Malak conceded. "But come on, don't you at least think that we shouldn't piss them off in case we need something from them in the future?"_

_"Why would we need something from them in the future?" Revan asked rhetorically. "We get rid of that disruptor beam and we're golden and will never have to come back here again."_

_"But if we do?" Malak pressed._

_Revan shrugged. "Then I guess we'll go kill the Others or whatever. The Others and the Elders…what stupid names for themselves."_

_"I guess they don't care about originality, just having a way to differentiate themselves in conversations," Malak said. "You really don't think they have a right to ask for our help if we're asking for their help to get into the temple?"_

_"No."_

_"Would you if you were being fair?" Malak asked._

_Revan shrugged. "Who knows? But look, if you feel that strongly about it why don't you go wipe out a group of indigenous people on the say-so of a bunch of people we just met? I just don't want anything to do with it."_

_"For not wanting to be bothered reasons, not moral reasons!"_

_Another shrug. "It could be both. So are you going to go kill them?"_

_Malak sighed. "I guess not. I'll admit, I'm pretty anxious to go see the Star Forge after all this time."_

_"You only feel like we should help the Rakatan because we lied about destroying the Star Forge," Revan said._

_Malak nodded. "I just feel a little guilty we're screwing them over on both fronts. They want to end the terrible legacy of their people by destroying the Star Forge by destroying it and we're going to not only not do that but put it to use again. They really shouldn't trust us."_

_"Ah, well, not our problem," Revan said. "And we have plenty enough of our own and soon to be more."_

_"We're not giving it to the Sith," Malak said firmly. "I don't care. I just don't. We're not doing that."_

_Revan nodded. "I never liked that plan."_

_"We can never go back, you know."_

_"You've been saying that since we started this thing," Revan replied._

_"Yes but now it feels more true than ever," Malak said. "Maybe, after we won, we could have returned. The Council would be angry but I doubt they'd throw us out. We'd have to grovel and debase ourselves but they'd probably take us back eventually. After searching for the remnants of the Mandalorian fleet and the true threat, we could have gone back and tried to explain. But this…they will never understand."_

_Revan tiled his face upward. "Well, they were never the most understanding of people."_

\----

Bastila was back. Bastila had somehow made it out and she was back and Alek had been wary at first, she had been in Sith captivity for weeks, but she was back and she was more than ready to help them bring down the Star Forge. He had asked her, hesitantly, about Revan and she had just rolled her eyes and called him a public menace. That seemed a step up from her opinion of him before and yet she was distinctly not on his side still so Alek could only assume that Revan had been telling the truth that Bastila was 'fine.'

Carth had apologized to him about the way he had treated him and said some things that made him feel vaguely uncomfortable about how Malak was dead now and how Carth knew he was a good person. Carth shouldn't have to apologize for his rather mild reaction to finding out one of his friends was a former Sith who had ordered the bombing of his home and was now trying to stop the war he had started. But Carth seemed to feel like Revan had warned him about, that who he had been before was not worth salvaging and he was a completely new person. But the name remained the same even if Carth didn't properly understand and maybe it was for the best not to make Carth try and accept him as the same person who had destroyed his life. If this was easier for him then so be it.

They had slaughtered their way through the Star Forge with the help of Republic and Jedi forces they had called in (who, honestly, weren't that much of a help but at least their presence meant they didn't have to kill literally everyone in the Star Forge by themselves).

Bastila was busy using Battle Mediation and couldn't help fight and Mission and Zaalbar stayed behind to guard the ship and Bastila while she wasn't in a position to defend herself but everyone else came with him to confront Revan. Technically, they didn't need to find Revan at all. Technically, the Republic forces should be able to destroy the Star Forge with Bastila's help with or without Revan falling. But no one had wanted to risk it and so Alek was dispatched to deal with his former Sith Master. The friend Revan wouldn't give up.

They had found robes that looked just like Revan's (and some truly hideous ones that were apparently Light Side robes) and Alek put a pair on just to see what Revan would have to say about it.

Somehow along the way, he had gotten separated from the others and could do nothing else but continue on and hope he'd find Revan. This was the first time he had ever gone looking for him. This could very easily end with one of them dead. He didn't know if Revan would have the heart to kill him, it wasn't as though Alek had tried during their previous encounters, and he didn't know if he had the skill to kill Revan. One thing everyone could agree on was that Revan was almost impossibly talented.

Alek eventually found Revan eating lunch alone.

"Well, this is awkward," Alek said.

Revan took a sip of his drink. "Is it? Please, sit down."

Alek remained where he was. "Revan, what are you doing?"

Revan glanced down at his food. "Eating."

"I can see that," Alek said.

"Well, you did ask."

"Why are you eating?"

"I need to do that to live. And, before you ask, I'm doing it now because I'm hungry so it's probably lunchtime or something."

"You, uh, do realize that the space station is under attack, right?"

Revan nodded. "Of course I do. You wouldn't be here otherwise and it's not like anyone's trying to be stealthy."

"And yet you're still eating."

Revan shrugged. 'I don't really see how these two things are related."

"Shouldn't you, I don't know, go out and defend it or something?"

"I'm eating," Revan said pointedly.

"Force, Revan, between this and letting Bastila go, I almost have to wonder if you want the Star Forge to be destroyed."

"I didn't let her escape," Revan said, looking annoyed. "I was just busy doing other things and wasn't there. Bastila is very resourceful you know, and it's not like she didn't have plenty of time to study the environment and plot her escape."

Alek watched as Revan continued to eat.

"So…are we going to fight or something?" he asked eventually.

Revan looked down. "I guess…"

"Way to sound invested in this!"

"My apologies," Revan said. "I'm not great at sounding invested at the best of times and I don't want to fight you."

"Well you're going to have to," Alek said forcefully, pushing down any reaction he might have had to those words. "I'm not just going to cut your head off while you sit there."

Revan nodded. "I appreciate that. But might I suggest that you not cut my head off at all? That's just so gruesome."

Alek rolled his eyes. "You would like not to die. Duly noted."

Revan smiled. "Well that, too, but I mean specifically beheading. I think I have a thing about that."

"I guess I can try," Alek said. "Beheadings aren't that easy to swing in combat anyway."

"That's all I can ask," Revan said grandly.

After another few minutes, Alek abruptly said, "Revan, what are we doing?"

Revan gestured with his fork. "Well, I'm eating. And you're politely waiting around to try and kill me."

"I don't want to kill you," Alek admitted.

Revan smiled again. "And I don't want to kill you. That's good, I guess, thought it changes nothing."

"How did we get here, Revan?" Alek asked. "We were best friends and now we're being called upon to kill each other and decide the fate of the Republic. At least until the next crisis."

Revan's smiled turned sad. "That's being a Jedi, Malak."

"It's Alek," Alek said tolerantly. "And I'm sure the Jedi would be thrilled to hear you call yourself one."

"Ask me how long it took me to get the hang of calling you Malak when you first changed it," Revan said.

"I remember."

"Sith, Dark Jedi…the way we use the word 'Sith' it's really the same thing and given the Sith are a species not quite extinct as well as their hangers-on, I don't always think of myself that way. But we were Jedi, once, without any complications. There's sacrifice and delusions of grandeur and one man being expected to decide the fates of worlds. We were friends but now there's armies and ideology and those things can't matter."

What Revan was saying made a terrible sort of sense. And yet…"But it does matter."

"That's the personal element," Revan said. "And plenty of people have plenty to say about what kind of Jedi we are."

"We don't have to do this."

"Do you mean you don't have to do this?" Revan asked shrewdly. "You have Bastila. If I do nothing then you win. Of course you can argue in favor of peace."

"But what would be so terrible about letting the Star Forge be destroyed?"

"Careful, Alek," Revan said. "You're proselytizing."

"No, I'm serious," Alek said.

"Well there are the Sith sitting out there in space."

"And now the Jedi are finally hearing about them," Alek said. "Seriously, Revan, whether you thought they'd believe you or not you really should have told people about them."

Revan crossed his arms. "You didn't either."

"That is true," Alek conceded. "But I'm making up for it now. And the Jedi have promised to look into it and everything."

Revan rolled his eyes. "Well if they Jedi are going to look into it!"

"The Sith may be powerful, especially their emperor, but the fact that they risked sending us after the Star Forge instead of going themselves or just not using it and haven't invaded yet means they're not ready either," Alek said.

Revan nodded. "That's true but you want to destroy our source of unlimited resources."

"It's a bit evil."

"It's not that bad," Revan said.

"I know you know better than that," Alek said.

Revan just sighed. "Maybe. But surely a little bit of an evil station is worth stopping us all from being killed by Sith."

"Maybe it was a good idea before," Alek said. "But you know that unless you-I mean, you're not going to be able to win here." He really shouldn't put Bastila in Revan's line of fire. "If you could kill everyone and move the Star Forge maybe but that's not going to happen. Maybe your plan could have worked-"

"Our plan," Revan corrected.

"But we're here. We know about the Star Forge and you're just going to have to hope that the Republic is more battle-ready than they were and that they will take steps to continue to prepare themselves."

"It's not going to be enough," Revan said flatly.

"Then make it be enough," Alek said. "Come on, Revan. You're more flexible than that. You can make people listen to you and you can do whatever you think you have to do to prepare from within the Republic just as easily as if you conquered them and were ruling a Sith Empire."

"I doubt it," Revan said. "Being in charge, even actual charge and not just working with you, would mean I could do what I wanted far easier than if I had to actually explain myself to other people and prove my rather outlandish – if completely true – claims about a secret Sith Empire. I mean, I saw it personally and I barely believe it."

"That's a bit concerning. You really should believe the things you've seen," Alek said.

"As if you're one to talk," Revan said. "You can't believe half of what you think you remember."

"And some of it even because the Jedi messed with my mind."

Revan laughed.

"The benefit of working with the Republic, though, is that you won't have to conquer it first," Alek said.

A shrug. "It's already half-conquered."

"And how much of that was done before I was out of the picture?" Alek asked pointedly.

Revan frowned. "That is a very good point."

"I'm surprised you're not trying to convince me to turn evil again," Alek said.

"Why would I do that?" Revan asked, surprised.

"Well you do keep talking about how much you missed me and you are set on this whole being a Sith thing," Alek said. "The logical thing to do, it seems, would be to try and get me to fall again."

A complicated expression came upon Revan's face. "I suppose but…You seem happier now."

"And that matters?"

"That matters," Revan said firmly.

"I'm not very happy," Alek told him. "There's a war going on and I feel I can't trust anyone who doesn't happen to reside on the Ebon Hawk. I don't know what the future holds or how I'm going to live with myself once this is over. If I even make it until it's over."

"And yet you still seem happier," Revan said. "You as a Sith…you were very competent, of course, even if you sometimes overdid it and wasted a perfectly good planet by bombing the populace and the infrastructure instead of what we agreed on. But maybe I'm still too much a Jedi to celebrate someone's fall."

"You've been indirectly responsible for the fall of hundreds of Jedi."

"Yes but I didn't know most of them so it doesn't bother me as much," Revan said. "And that's indirectly. You're asking me to be the one thing that turns you evil. And I'm the one who went with you the first time. So, yeah, no thanks."

Alek closed his eyes and sighed. "Revan."

"What?"

"You can't just say things like that and then expect me to kill you!"

"I already voted against the killing me plan," Revan said. "Although I don't want to kill you either so who even knows how we're going to do this whole battle to the death thing."

"But we don't have to do it!" Alek said again.

"And what do you propose instead?" Revan asked. "Because I do have to admit that at this point salvaging this situation is going to be a massive headache and then there's committing to finishing conquering the Republic which I have to admit I've been a bit…lax about."

Alek snorted. That was one way to put it.

"Just come with me," Alek said. "They're letting me come back, of course they'll let you come back. Everyone always liked you better anyway."

Revan started to say something then stopped, blinking at him.

"What?" Alek asked, feeling oddly self-conscious.

"It's just…" Revan trailed off, clearing his throat. "It's been awhile since you've said that without bitterness. It's quite true, of course, but people never disliked you. They just…People have always looked at my power and projected whatever they wanted to see on it. People even now, after knowing me my whole life, won't look at reality and just see it for what it is. I don't rightly know why people idolize me but they do and, being my best friend and always being compared to that…Well, people have been telling me you were out to kill me almost since we found the Star Forge."

"I was kind of out to kill you," Alek admitted. "A little."

Revan shrugged. "It happens."

"That's it?" Alek asked uncertainly.

Revan shrugged again. "What are you expecting?"

"I don't know, some stronger reaction to the confirmation I wanted to kill you," Alek said. "I mean, if you had done what you were supposed to do and gone and met the Jedi on your ship I was going to have my ship fire on you so I wouldn't have to babysit you and get second billing anymore."

Revan nodded. "See, that might be upsetting if it weren't for the fact that that didn't happen and what happened instead was me accidentally allowing the Jedi to capture you and destroy your identity. I'm glad to see that you're working past that alright."

"That's very, uh, magnanimous of you," Alek said.

"I think I can afford to be generous."

"It doesn't matter," Alek said. "Come with me, Revan."

"I don't know," Revan said slowly.

Well it wasn't an outright no, at least. That meant there was hope. And even if it had been a no, Revan was usually open to persuasion if you just nagged him enough.

"It would be brilliant," Alek said. "Just tell them that you have seen the light and want to be redeemed and they'll have to let you come back. The Jedi are very big on redemption right now."

"I suppose it is good that we're at the 'no one is truly lost' and not the 'forever will it dominate your destiny' point in the cycle," Revan said thoughtfully. "Would people really believe it, though?"

"I don't see why not."

"Well, I'm kind of winning," Revan said. "And while the people who actually know me might just roll their eyes and despair at my general inability to follow through, most people don't have that kind of insight into me. Despite my lack of subtlety."

"We can just tell them that you had good intentions, that we both did, but we were seduced by the dark side trying to protect the Republic from the Sith. And then you found you couldn't kill me and you're working your way back to the light."

"That sounds like a lot of work," Revan said bluntly.

"And you wouldn't actually have to do it," Alek said. "Just come with me, say something convincing about seeing the light, and let's just move on with our lives."

"What would I even do?" Revan asked. "Rejoin the Jedi?"

Alek blinked. "Would you want to?"

"Surprisingly, yes," Revan said after a moment. "I like the title and the lightsabers and the Force powers and whatnot. Just so long as I don't have to do anything as penance for being a Sith or have to do all that much I should be good."

"Well I can almost guarantee you that whatever you'll have to do as a Jedi won't be half as difficult as all these wars you keep fighting," Alek said.

Revan tilted his head. "That is true but I'd rather not use all this unpleasantness as a litmus test for my future work. This is so much effort it's not even funny."

"And you can be done with all of that now," Alek said persuasively.

"If I just stop now, though, doesn't that make all this a waste of time? You know how much I hate a wasted effort, Alek."

"Ah but without that war the Republic wouldn't be as battle-ready as it is now-"

Revan snorted.

"And no one would have believed you about the Sith."

"I guess…"

"And you never did like the whole Sith thing," Alek said.

"That's not true," Revan said. "I loved the wardrobe and the evil station that can make anything and the title and the lack of people other than you telling me what to do."

"I can't help you with the Star Forge, that simply has to go," Alek said. "But you can happily ignore other people telling you what to do, and I don't think most will dare, and it's not like you have to give up your robes."

"I think the Jedi might insist," Revan said. "I've been reliably informed they are a bit evil."

Alek raised an eyebrow. "Sort of like how they insisted we not go to war?"

Revan tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Well if there's one thing I'm willing to go to bat for it's fashion."

"So come on."

"Do you seriously think it's going to be that easy?" Revan asked. "I just stand up and go with you and fuck all of this?"

"Yes."

Revan laughed. "Awfully optimistic of you!"

"Well you're very persuasive," Alek said. "And the Jedi are kind of terrified of your power. Add that to the fact they'd get bragging rights if they can 'save' you and they already brought me on board and what are they going to do? Execute you?"

"The Republic might," Revan said.

"You're too popular with the masses," Alek said. "Which is still really strange."

"Being so popular with the people I'm fighting might make the leaders want to neutralize me," Revan pointed out. "But then, I guess you're right, I can bring them around pretty quickly. The Jedi would probably want to lock me up or something, though."

"Just threaten to run away and join the True Sith or something instead of telling us how to prepare for them and I can say I don't remember as much as you do," Alek said, shrugging. "It's unconventional but we can make it work."

"Maybe we could," Revan said, still not quite committing. "But on the other hand…would you want to? I know you don't want to have to kill me but there's a big difference between that and wanting to still be friends."

"I cannot even believe you're basing your alignment on whether or not I want to be friends with you," Alek complained.

"Can't you, though?"

Alek groaned. "Okay, fine, yes I can. You really do need to care more about these things! They're important life decisions!"

"Not to me, they're not," Revan said.

"I don't know. Or rather, I do. I just…it's hard. You can't really understand what it's like to be someone one day and then find out, sorry, you're a man who has done terrible things even if mostly for good reasons and you've been opposing your former allies all this time. But you followed me around the galaxy until I remembered and you actually cared this happened to me."

"Of course I cared. Why wouldn't I care?" Revan asked, looking affronted.

"Well you didn't exactly stop me from actually turning evil when you were able to shake it off," Alek pointed out.

Revan threw his hands up in the air. "Since when have I been the persuasive one in this relationship?"

"You were always the persuasive one."

"But not with you."

Alek just shook his head. "And, as strange as this is to be saying about the current Dark Lord of the Sith, I do enjoy spending time with you. So while things might still be a little weird for a while and I have no doubt the Jedi will want to try and keep us separated for a while…yes."

Revan finished the last of his meal and put down his utensils. "Then by all means."

"You know that nobody is going to believe the way that this went down, right?" Alek asked. "Or if they do they'll be really disappointed."

"Everyone's a critic," Revan said. "Feel free to add a lightsaber battle as long as I win and can't go through with the final blow."

"Nobody who actually knows you will believe it," Alek said.

"They'll probably be able to figure it out," Revan agreed. "But for everyone else, if you really want to sell it, I'm going to have to be able to defeat you in ninety seconds blindfolded while eating dinner. Not to belittle your skills or anything, but that's just the impression people have of me."


	9. Chapter 9

_"This is a terrible idea," Revan announced._

_Malak rolled his eyes. "No it isn't. You're just saying that because you don't want to do it."_

_"I think me not wanting to do it makes it a terrible idea by default."_

_"You would," Malak said. "But, if this could be accomplished without inconveniencing you in the slightest, would you think it was a great idea?"_

_"Well, sure," Revan agreed. "All sorts of things that would be a horrible idea with me involved are perfectly lovely ideas without my involvement."_

_"Most people would say otherwise, given that you are far more skilled than other people," Malak said._

_"Yeah but those are other people who, if I do it, don't have to do it themselves," Revan said. "And who aren't at all inconvenienced by my participation."_

_"I wouldn't go that far," Malak said, holding up a hand. "Plenty of people are highly inconvenienced by your participation."_

_"No, I think that's just you, actually," Revan said. "And yet somehow you refuse to learn not to involve me."_

_"Well, as much of a point as I think you have about how much easier my life would be if I could just stop, we both know that I can't."_

_" 'Can't' is such a strong word and not what I think you really mean at all," Revan said._

_"Fine, not 'can't'," Malak agreed. "We just live in dangerous times-"_

_"Everyone always lives in dangerous times," Revan complained._

_"And I just can't abdicate my responsibility as Jedi-"_

_"Despite the fact the Council will kick us out if we ever bother calling home."_

_"Or as a citizen of the Republic and let it be destroyed. And, come on," Malak continued. "We spent all this time defeating the Mandalorians and do you really just want to sit around collecting praise and dodging the Council's attempts to punish us for our heroism-"_

_"Yes."_

_Malak gave him a look. "While waiting for whatever it was that prompted the Mandalorians to attack us in the first place to come back and kill us?"_

_"Well, no, waiting for another invasion does sound pretty awful. I mean, not the waiting part," Revan clarified. "I do so like waiting. But the invasion isn't good. But I don't know why we're pretending we don't know who it was."_

_Malak frowned. "That's because we don't know. Unless you've been holding out on me?"_

_Revan waved him off. "It's not that. It's just that these are mysterious people out to destroy the Republic and bait the Jedi. It's not the Mandalorians because they wouldn't need to secretly convince themselves to do it and they're not exactly the most subtle of people. So I think we all know it's going to be the Sith."_

_Malak stared at him skeptically. "Really, Revan? The Sith?"_

_"Oh, do not even give me that. It is always the Sith. Like, 80 percent of our problems can be traced back to the Sith in some way," Revan said. "You know it's true."_

_"Well, yeah," Malak agreed. "And what does that say about the Jedi as an order? But no one important has fallen and is still around or gone missing and could probably reemerge as a Sith or something in years."_

_"So we're about due for another one," Revan said. "But I don't even mean that. I'm sure there's probably some secret Sith out there doing secret things we've all either forgotten about or never heard of."_

_"I'm just saying, it seems a little unlikely."_

_"So does the Mandalorians, of all people, needing to be talked into invading someone by some mysterious force that they didn't even bother finding out anything about before attacking," Revan said. "And yet we are reasonably sure that this happened."_

_"Sith."_

_"It's just statistically likely," Revan said._

_"I hate Sith," Malak complained. "They're so annoying."_

_"Probably not the reason most people hate Sith but I can sympathize."_

_"I mean, yeah, there's all the other stuff, too," Malak acknowledged. "All that stuff about them hurting and killing those we've sworn to protect and all that. But all the bad guys do that and the Sith are uniquely annoying."_

_"Yeah, it's all 'I've known you for years and now that I've embraced a new philosophy our lifelong friendship means nothing' or 'I remember that you always fell asleep during meditation so you should join the side of killing babies too'," Revan said._

_" 'There is no good and evil, just my side torturing people for fun and your side having some sort of weird problem with it' and 'You have negative emotions so you should just give up everything in your life and come to the side of random murder and betrayal.' Fine, maybe annoying isn't the first word most people would think of to describe them but you know that I'm right," Malak said._

_"Boy do I ever," Revan said. "But then, you know I've always had such a low threshold for annoyance."_

_"Still, it means you're always sympathetic to what I find annoying," Malak said. He sighed. "Well, I'm hoping that it's not the Sith and not just because I do not even want to deal with them. But if it is then it's even more important that we go and figure this out."_

_"I'm not going to say you're right because I still really, really don't want to go."_

_"You always could have left and gone back to the Council like your favorite general did," Malak said. "After your not-so-subtle attempt to have her killed didn't work."_

_"But how did it not work is what I want to know," Revan said, groaning. "And she is proof that being super annoying is not just related to the dark side of the Force. But no, I think I'll stick with the Sith."_

_Malak blinked. "That…probably did not come out the way you intended."_

_Revan shrugged. "Maybe not but you know you can never hang out with the Sith without at least a 25 percent chance of falling yourself."_

_"The Sith," Malak said dramatically. "Not even once."_

\----

To say that people were shocked when Revan returned with Alek was an understatement. Well, actually Bastila hadn't been surprised at all. She had taken one look at them and rolled her eyes and told Revan to at least try and make it work.

The rest of the crew had been…well, actually only Carth had tried to attack Revan and everyone else seemed a little star struck so it was a good thing that Revan had actually come to join them. Alek had muttered explanations as they escaped the wreckage of the Star Forge and then sort of not told anybody else Revan wasn't dead until they were all safely on the Rakatan planet.

And by 'told anyone else' he really meant he and Revan had quickly sent out a broadcast over the holonet to the entire Republic (those that didn't catch it live would undoubtedly see it soon enough) about how Revan was still alive and wasn't evil anymore. Revan managed to pull off vaguely earnest if not the slightest bit remorseful and made sure to mention the True Sith to everyone. Then they had each of the crewmembers of the Ebon Hawk introduce themselves and say that they believed Revan wasn't evil anymore. Bastila might have said that she didn't know what Revan was but he probably wasn't going to go be a Sith any longer and Carth might have promised to follow Revan around for a while and shoot him if he looked to be evil – like that would be any more effective than the first time – but they said it.

"So it seems you have returned to us at last, Revan," Master Vandar said solemnly. "It is not an outcome that I had predicted but I cannot find myself in opposition of it."

That was exactly what Alek had wanted to hear.

"Well I can," Admiral Dodonna said.

And that was more along what he had expected.

"You had to have known that you couldn't just come back and pretend none of this ever happened," Dodonna said. "Because if you hadn't then you wouldn't have made sure to present your case to the Republic before anyone else got the chance to."

"Oh, no, that was mostly about just saving time," Revan claimed. And for him it might have even been true. "I just didn't want to have to repeat the same thing to everyone for months so I figured why not just tell everyone all at once? I may have to record some question and answer sessions so I don't have to answer the same clarifying questions now just so everyone can make sure that they understand."

"I know it hasn't been all that long," Alek said. "But how has the general public taken the announcement? I mean, Mission's monitoring the message boards and they seem to be mostly positive but maybe you've heard from a different sector of the population."

"Some of the Jedi are a little skeptical about your return from the Dark Side," Vandar said. "But most are delighted to have such a great champion of our order on our side again, especially in light of these troubling allegations about there being a secret Sith Empire out there in the outer regions."

"You are going to actually deal with that right?" Revan asked. "And not just humor me? Because you really can't afford to and if you're not going to take it seriously then I swear by the Force that I will go off and become a Sith Lord again. I don't want to do it, believe me I don't, but this is probably the most important thing in our lifetimes."

"Don't worry, Revan, we have been persuaded of the truth of your words. We do not know the scope of the threat and how to best meet it is still something that needs to be determined but never let it be said that the Jedi will not stand against the Sith," Vandar told him.

Revan nudged him. "See? Told you the name thing makes a difference."

"I don't like this at all," Dodonna complained. "And I believe I speak for many of the leaders of the Republic. It is true that more of them than I'd like to admit still have signed pictures of you in their office – not that they can even tell it's you with that cloak getup – but enough of them are still rationale enough to see just how you screwed us over."

"I disagree with you but I guess I'm sorry or something," Revan said.

Alek glared at him. "That is the least sincere apology you have made in a while."

"But not ever," Revan countered.

"I don't think it's possible to be less sincere than you were when you cut Zez-Kai Ell's mustache off."

"It had to go," Revan insisted, crossing his arms.

"How did you not screw us over? You saved us then you left and came back to conquer us. Being our savior does not give you carte blanche to just do what you want to us!" Dodonna exclaimed.

"I was saving you from the True Sith. Those guys are bad news. Did you know they can turn you evil through sheer force of will? Or at least their leader can."

"Why didn't you feel the need to tell us about any of this?" Dodonna challenged. "And don't give me any crap about how you wouldn't have been believed because you could have tried to be persuasive. People loved you enough when you left and you're convincing enough you might have been able to sway people. And you could have tried to get some proof, maybe a recording of what had happened or some testimonials from the thousands of good people who had taken off with you. Conquering the galaxy could have been plan B for if we didn't accept and prepare for the war."

"Well, once you start conquering the galaxy it really confuses the issue and people might think you were full of it about the Sith thing," Revan said.

Dodonna nodded. "An excellent reason not to attack the Republic! But even if we hadn't believed you, you really should have told us."

Revan sighed. "I've been hearing that a lot lately. Fine, I admit I really should have let you guys know why I was conquering the Republic instead of just doing it, knowing you would never understand and exactly what kind of assumptions you would make when Malak and I started calling ourselves Sith. Although, really, we kind of had to do that part or the Jedi never would have started mobilizing as well."

"That's…fair," Vandar admitted reluctantly.

"And it's not just that. I mean, you just threatened to go be a Sith again. And we're supposed to trust that you've changed?"

"Only if it were for the greater good," Revan said.

Dodonna groaned. "There are no two words I hate more than that."

"Trust me," Alek said. "He won't do something like that unless things get really desperate and if the Republic does its part to prepare for the True Sith then it won't come to that."

Dodonna nodded. "But aren't you Darth Malak? I could have sworn I heard something about that."

Alek coughed. "I've retired."

"Both of you?"

"The Jedi might have mind-fucked Alek into it first," Revan said a bit bitterly. "But I'm satisfied he's still enough himself, and that that self is essentially a good person, that I let him 'redeem' me."

"Did I just hear air quotes?" Dodonna asked.

"I have no idea what you did or did not hear," Revan said.

"Revan, without us Alek would have died," Vandar pointed out.

"I would have gotten him medical attention!"

"Maybe you shouldn't have shot him in the first place," Vandar suggested.

Revan force a smile. "Capital idea!"

"I know you don't like this but what are you going to do about it?" Alek asked Dodonna. "Is there going to be problems with Revan's redemption?"

"Politically, since Revan seems to have joined us before the Star Forge was destroyed and your message seemed to resonate with the general public – not to mention the fact he still has more fans than he really should given what he's done – I don't think it would be a very fruitful endeavor to try and punish him," Dodonna said. "Even though he really kind of deserves it. We especially don't need to alienate him if we want to know about the True Sith out there. Although if he would really withhold information like that from us until he personally is in a good position I don't like what that says about him really having changed."

"Maybe I haven't changed," Revan suggested. "Maybe it's just the circumstances."

"It's definitely Revan who changed," Alek said quickly. "And you, Master Vandar, you said something about not all the Jedi liking the idea of Revan returning?"

"It's not so much that they don't like it as don't believe it," Vandar corrected. "The Dark Side is supposed to be very difficult to return from and redemption is a lifelong process. Revan appears to have gotten over his years of evil in such a remarkably short time."

"I've always been rather stoic," Revan said.

"That's a little complicated," Alek admitted. "But can't we just chalk it up to Revan being talented at everything including redemption?"

Vandar tapped his chin thoughtfully. "You know, that just might work."

"I'm glad we've got all of that sorted out," Revan said. "Because now we need to discuss how we're going to deal with the True Sith."

"I was thinking we could go out and look for them and, once we've found them, destroy them," Dodonna said.

Vandar nodded. "But first we must meditate."

"No, no, no," Revan said.

"Revan, at some point you're going to have to learn to appreciate meditation like all the rest of us," Vandar told him.

"First off, I wouldn't count on it," Revan said. "And secondly, that's not what I meant."

"Revan and I know where the True Sith are," Alek said. "But we kind of already tried the confronting them approach and it got us very little. Not just because we didn't have as big of a fleet as we could have but because the Sith Empire is some kind of nigh immortal monstrosity who can literally turn other people evil with very little effort."

"Or at least it looked like little effort to us and I'm kind of sensitive to these sorts of things," Revan added. "The Emperor didn't destroy us even though he very well could have."

"Then what, exactly, do you recommend?" Vandar asked. "You wanted us to do something about this."

"Just…prepare, for now," Revan said. "I know that as we prepare, the Sith can do so, too, but they've been preparing for a long time without us knowing and they had very little to start with. They're not ready to invade just yet and that's why they wanted the Star Forge. If we can build up our supplies and learn what we can, try to adapt to this coming fight, that would be a far more useful way to spend our time. And hopefully the invasion doesn't even happen until we're all dead anyway."

"What are you suggesting?" Vandar asked.

"The way we see it, the biggest threat is the fact that the Sith Emperor can just turn people evil," Alek said. "I mean, the fact they're almost certainly sending people in to infiltrate us and have positions of power maybe even through the generations is almost certainly going to come back to bite us and we need to find a way to either identify these people or have a plan in place for when they eventually reveal themselves to minimize the damage they can cause."

"But the turning people evil thing seems a more immediate threat for obvious reasons," Revan said.

"And how do you propose we stop him from turning people evil?" Vandar asked.

"Well, not having much regard for the concepts of good and evil in the first place seems to help," Revan said. "Although I guess that wouldn't really fly with you guys."

"Revan, we cannot just stop teaching people morality because of one threat. It's very short-sighted."

"Although if you wanted to start teaching the kind of morality that doesn't lead to people deciding to go terrorize the galaxy because they suffer a bad breakup or something that would be great," Dodonna opined.

"I'm not suggesting that, even if it would probably work," Revan said. "I just feel too much emphasis is placed on not falling and how hard it is to come back after you fall. Alek was telling me they met a Sith ghost who wanted nothing more to redeem himself but still felt it would be too hard and had to be given a pep talk before he'd try. And it was super easy for him. Like, insultingly easy."

"And what's our alternative? Preventing people from falling in the first place seems the most practical choice," Vandar said.

Alek nodded. "If we can avoid it then great but I think we all know it's never going to be a perfect success rate because people are people and the Sith Emperor is coming. But once people fall, they usually lose all perspective. I was fortunate in that protecting the Republic was still important enough to me that, while I may have made a lot of mistakes, I was still ultimately trying to do that. We need people to not give in to the Dark Side – or have it forced on them – and then decide to join their enemies and help destroy everything they've ever cared about. We need to get them to stop tasting the Dark Side for five minutes and decide to spend the rest of their life wallowing in it. We need some sort of measure that's more effective to save these people than a dedicated friend or family member appealing to their better nature which could just as easily cause them to fall as well."

Vandar nodded slowly. "I can see the sense in your words and I cannot help but think of the many who have been lost to the darkness. But how would one even begin to try to do something like that?"

Revan glanced at Alek. "We're something like experts on the subject and it's not like we don't have the time to try and work something out."

"Well I'm glad to know you're going to try and do something productive," Dodonna said.

Revan groaned. "Don't even say that!"

"It's true, though," Alek said.

"I am not even listening."

"This whole thing makes me feel marginally better about how you're going to receive Crosses of Glory for your part in stopping Revan," Dodonna said.

Revan frowned. "What, even me?"

Dodonna nodded. "I'm afraid so."

"I'm getting an award for stopping myself?" Revan asked. "Tell me I'm not the only one seeing how messed up that is."

"A medal is better than the alternative," Alek said.

"Yeah but it's making it sound like I just have great self-control or was self-sabotaging," Revan complained.

"And how exactly did you come to be on this beach with me?" Alek asked pointedly.

Revan cleared his throat. "So, Crosses of Glory all around then? T3 and HK will be thrilled."


	10. Chapter 10

_"So, Revan, I just heard your plan for Malachor," Malak said conversationally._

_"Do you like it?" Revan asked. "I'm pretty sure that if everything goes according to plan, and it usually does, we can finally defeat the Mandalorians and just go home after this."_

_Malak coughed. "Well, about that…"_

_Revan narrowed his eyes at him. "What about it?"_

_"We can talk about it later," Malak said. "I noticed who you put in charge of the forces on the planet."_

_"Is that supposed to be a question or something?" Revan asked. "It wasn't a secret and it's not like she's not very capable in her own way."_

_Malak snorted. "In her own way. Revan, you haven't willingly put her in charge of anything that was anywhere near you. Ever."_

_"Is it my fault she annoys me more than anyone else I've ever met?" Revan asked._

_"No," Malak said. "But I want to know what's going on with this."_

_"What's going on is I needed to put someone in charge of the forces on the planet during this campaign and she seemed like the best person for the job."_

_"You have literally never thought she was the best person for any job," Malak said._

_"That's not true. I definitely thought we should have her do publicity whenever anyone questioned whether we were falling," Revan said. "On account of the fact no one can accuse her of not being the most dedicated Jedi ever with a straight face."_

_"You know what I mean. And, furthermore, I noticed that everyone we've been keeping an eye on, for being annoying or otherwise not being completely loyal to us, just happens to be going with her to the planet. Which leads me to wonder if you're trying to kill her again."_

_"I never tried to kill her!" Revan objected._

_"I think we both know that that's not true," Malak said. "So…are you?"_

_Revan looked at the ceiling. "Do I think there's a good chance that the Mass Shadow Generator that that scientist was really cagey about but did confide was designed to create mass shadows and, given the unique properties of Malachor V, could very well destroy the Mandalorians when enough of them are in range could take out a number of our more problematic elements? And do I think that many more of them will probably be killed in the fighting before the weapon is activated? That is a distinct possibility but, as a leader, it is a sacrifice I will have to live with."_

_"You would not even care if they all died."_

_Revan shrugged. "I didn't say that living with it would be difficult."_

_"You're doing this on purpose."_

_"Of course I'm not accidentally dispatching people anywhere. But this is just how the plan happened to work out so we could win. Should I apologize that if I need to send a certain amount of people out to die it's people whose loss I won't mourn?" Revan asked rhetorically._

_"Yes, probably," Malak said. "And, be honest. If you didn't also want to get rid of those people would you have been able to find a different way to end this war?"_

_Revan shrugged again. "Maybe but who is to say it's any better? This is the way I found and worlds are burning. We don't have time to find a way that would let us do this without bloodshed."_

_"Fine. Make the excuses you want but I think we both know this is mostly because you think one Jedi is really annoying."_

_"Look, it's this or see how long before I actually snap and stab her when she starts talking," Revan said. "I came really close last week and what kind of example would that set?"_

_"Just think of a better excuse to tell everyone else," Malak instructed._

_"I always do."_

\----

"I'm just saying, she sounds really interesting," Atton said. His name was technically Jaq, not Atton, but he hadn't bothered to change his last name when he went into hiding and by now it didn't even matter. He was currently refusing to learn how to be a Jedi but he spent enough time at the Temple in Coruscant that they'd been given a mission to get him to accept if they could. His protestations that he had once tortured Jedi and only stopped out of sheer self-preservations didn't go so far these days as the Jedi and Republic were building up their forces and there were plenty within the Jedi Order who had done comparably bad if not worse.

"What you mean is 'she's gorgeous'," Revan corrected.

"So what if I do?" Atton asked. "Don't even give me a lecture about Jedi and celibacy because not only am I not a Jedi and she got kicked out like ten years ago but you have a girlfriend. A girlfriend who is also a Jedi, may I remind you."

"You would think, with Revan doing whatever he wanted and hundreds of Jedi watching him get away with it and rushing to date as well, that the Jedi would go ahead and officially abolish that rule," Alek mused. "But then, I guess they hate change and changing the code more than most change."

"Do not even get me started on that, Alek," Revan warned. "You know how I feel on the subject of pretending things are in the code when they are so very clearly not."

"All I know is that I can't believe you actually got Bastila to date you when you used to be evil, actually held her prisoner once, don't really regret anything, and it's still technically against Jedi policy," Alek said.

"I can't believe it, either," Atton said. "What, did you like torture her into it or something?"

Revan glared at him. "No, I did not. All I did was hang around, being amazing, and she often felt the need to lecture me on my complete failure to live up to my potential and…you know, this is sounding kind of like she can do so much better than me-"

"She could certainly do more motivated and less morally ambiguous than you," Alek interrupted.

"Yes, thank you so much for that," Revan said dryly. "But I'm really not that bad."

"Yeah you are," Alek said. "It's just that you've been worse when things aren't so important."

"See? Character growth!"

"It's not you who has changed so much, just the situation," Alek said.

"All I know is that Bastila is gorgeous and that seems a bit of an unlikely pairing so I commend you on somehow making that work," Atton said, nodding.

"Thanks," Revan said. "Although I'm half-sure you're only saying that because you want to hear about the Exile."

"Her name can't possibly be the Exile," Atton said.

"It's not but I've heard from reliable sources that she insists on being called that," Revan said. "Not that I've seen her since she was exiled."

"Why would she want to go off and be called that?" Atton asked. "And she can't possibly be the only one exiled from the Jedi Order."

"No but she's certainly taking it the most seriously," Alek said. "I know a guy who was exiled from the Jedi Order and he lives down the block from the temple, still."

"Can you do that?" Atton asked. "I mean, I guess clearly he did but how?"

"You can't really enforce Jedi exile," Alek explained. "I mean, I guess he can't come into Jedi buildings but neither can most civilians. Jedi can't exile people from the Republic."

"She's sounding more interesting by the minute," Atton said.

Revan rolled his eyes. "Atton, the picture you found was from ten years ago. You have no idea what she even looks like now and you'll probably never meet her."

"So what's the harm in telling me about her?" Atton asked.

"Honestly, I wasn't really a fan," Revan said.

"She was, though," Alek said. "She always believed in Revan's goodness and dedication."

Atton laughed. "Really? Did she never actually meet him?"

"No, actually, she spent a great deal of time with me," Revan said. "She just refused to see things that she didn't want to see. Much like my former master Kae, actually, who was also exiled but who I don't think actually left the Republic. I don't know, though. We kind of fell out of touch."

"What was she like?" Atton asked again.

"She was the most dedicated servant the Light Side has probably ever had," Alek explained. "She was absolutely incorruptible and rather naïve. No matter what kind of hypocrisy the Jedi displayed or how badly they failed her, she still continued to believe that they were infallible. She could come across as a little stupid, sometimes, with her refusal to face reality but she actually wasn't and was a very talented general. In the end, she was the only Jedi who left to go to war with us who decided to return home and face judgment for it and so instead of falling she was exiled."

"Why would they exile her for coming back?" Atton asked. "I assume she was repentant."

Revan rolled his eyes. "You have no idea. She wasn't actually, shall we say, aware that we had gone off to war without the Jedi's permission."

Atton stared at him. "Seriously? Everyone knew that. Like…everyone. It wasn't a secret that they disapproved even if they maybe got less vocal about it the more victories you won and the more people lauded you as heroes."

"She was very trusting," Alek said simply. "She trusted me."

"Huh. But then, why exile her?" Atton repeated.

"I don't really know," Revan said. "I suspect it was because by the time she had recovered from Malachor – it really took a toll on its survivors – the Council had begun to hear that Malak and I were back and Sith. They were angry that we had left, angry that we had won, angry that we had become Sith. They couldn't do anything to us so they took all of their frustration and their rage and they put it all on her when she probably deserved it the least. She had done what she had set out to do and then come right back to face the consequences of her actions. And the consequences of those actions was exile."

"But…" Atton shook his head. "They might have done some wonky stuff to your memory, Alek, but I can see the strategic use of trying to find the Star Forge through you and after that they just sort of let you go. You can even still be a Jedi! And they didn't even pretend to do anything to Revan."

"That's not true," Revan objected. "I had to sit through a lot of long, boring lectures and tearful 'I always believed in you' speeches."

"Those weren't actually intended to be punishments," Alek said.

"It was when it was Vrook."

"So in light of all that, in light of the fact that – whatever your motivation – you both really fucked over the Republic and didn't even try to explain what was going on…how did you get off so easily and she got exiled?" Atton asked.

"Timing, perhaps," Alek suggested. "They were angry and afraid and she may have regretted disobeying them but she didn't regret going off to protect innocent people."

"Isn't that a bit of a contradiction?" Atton asked. "She doesn't regret what she does, just that they disapproved? That doesn't sound like regret to me."

"Maybe it didn't sound like it to them, either," Alek said. "But, knowing her, she was quite sincere about both sentiments. When it was us, the Jedi had already reinstated me and had convinced themselves I had redeemed myself even though I'm not sure that's even true. They needed me and by the time they didn't anymore, I was instrumental in saving the day. They couldn't very well punish me afterwards."

"Wait, you're not sure you're actually redeemed?" Atton asked, surprised. "I mean, don't get me wrong, you probably know a lot better than I do but how are you not redeemed? You're not going around torturing people anymore and seem to be trying to keep the body count to a minimum."

"HK still hasn't forgiven him for that," Revan added.

"I'm certainly back on the light side and glad of it," Alek agreed. "But my memory of ever having been a Sith had been erased and I was just sort of reset. By the time I discovered why I had fallen, I had plenty of distance from the matter and it's not like Revan was trying to sell me on the Sith lifestyle. I didn't have to work to become good again or really to stay good. As far as these things go, I got lucky."

"They literally destroyed your entire identity," Revan said flatly.

Alek shrugged. "I got better."

Revan just rolled his eyes. "I will never understand you."

"That's only fair because it's not like any of us are ever going to understand you," Alek replied. "And when it comes to Revan, I think we all know that he's just so talented and charismatic and beloved by the Force that he's never had to face any real consequences and probably never will."

"Oh, that's not true," Revan objected. "People sometimes make jokes about my flexible loyalties and it's not like I didn't spend a year dealing with the fallout of my accidental shooting of you before you decided we could be friends again."

"Yeah," Alek agreed, "but given the things you've done, can you really say that that counts as real consequences?"

"Yes."

"I see what you mean," Atton said. "Not everyone can be Revan."

"Frankly, I don't know how even just Revan manages it."

"But it's been years and most of the surviving Dark Jedi returned to the light when Revan did," Atton said. "So why is the Exile still exiled?"

"I guess she wasn't just exiled until this mess with us was dealt with but exiled indefinitely with the understanding it could be permanent," Alek offered after a moment.

"Personally, I think they just didn't want to deal with her," Revan said. "I know I can certainly sympathize with that and you're not going to get a better excuse than exiling her."

Alek rolled his eyes. "Not everyone is you, Revan, and a few people were quite fond of her. Most notably Kavar and Vash."

"And Atris," Revan said pointedly.

"Atris? Are you kidding me?" Atton couldn't believe it. "She's the Jedi historian so I went to her first and I didn't manage to duck out of her diatribe about how selfish and fallen the Exile was for at least an hour. And I was trying, believe me."

"Atris has never been the most in touch with her feelings," Alek said delicately.

"She's in love with the Exile who has never noticed and was also really jealous the Exile went off to war with us – Force knows why, the war was awful – and she couldn't get over herself enough to go, too," Revan said, considerably less delicately. "So she'll tell anybody who will listen, and the list has gotten shorter over the years, how the Exile is a personification of everything that's ever been wrong with anything."

"I mean, I thought it was bad that time she sat me down and started lecturing me about how I needed to redeem myself and become a Jedi and I was like 'look, lady, do you see me torturing people anymore? No? That's evidently how the Jedi define redemption these days' and she looked like she was going to stab me but this was something else entirely."

"I still don't understand why you have such a negative view of the Jedi," Revan told him. "I mean, the Council can be really annoying and has driven me, of all people, to go off and try and solve big problems without them but they're basically good people who just want to help. They just seem to feel they have a monopoly on wisdom and morality. But a little annoyance aside, you act like they're evil."

Atton stared at him. "Are you even kidding me?"

"Uh, no."

"If I have a less-than-great view of the Jedi you know that it's all your fault, right?"

"That does not sound right," Revan said.

"You know that I fought in the Mandalorian War and saw how useless the Jedi who weren't with you two, the Jedi who stuck with the Order, were," Atton said.

Alek nodded. "They were rather useless there. I'd like to think that if Revan and I hadn't done what we had done eventually they would have stepped up and gone off to war before the entire Republic was destroyed."

"I am not so optimistic," Revan said.

"And afterwards of course I joined you guys when you asked," Atton said. "The Republic would have been lost without you and I trusted you. Things got a little dark but hadn't it also during the Mandalorian War? I had to leave when I found out I was Force-sensitive because I wasn't looking to get tortured myself but it wasn't personal."

"I do not think I would take it half as well as you did," Alek said.

"Yeah, you would have," Revan disagreed. "See that time the Jedi brainwashed you."

"That wasn't quite the same thing," Alek said.

"No, it was worse."

"We keep agreeing to disagree and yet somehow that never sticks," Alek confided.

"But really, there's a huge difference between useless and sanctimonious and outright evil," Revan said. "I don't think we ever called them evil."

"You try killing and torturing hundreds of people, some quite young, when you didn't have the highest opinion of their organization in the first place and see how high of an esteem you hold them in afterwards," Atton replied.

"I do think his attitude is improving, though," Alek remarked.

"Well it would be hard to get any worse," Atton said. "I don't know, you two are Jedi again and made up with them. They seem to actually be doing things to prepare for that war that I really hope doesn't start up anytime soon. I actually interact with Jedi in a non-lethal manner. And that one Jedi saved me."

"So, in accordance with current Jedi policy, are you sure you don't want to be a Jedi?" Revan asked him.

Atton laughed. "Not on your life."

"Just checking."

"Now that the war is over and you're offering even the likes of me the chance to join the Jedi – and offering and offering and offering – don't you think that you should really do something about the Exile? She was only exiled for following you and everything's been forgiven there."

Revan sighed loudly. "Force, Atton, why are you so obsessed with this?"

"It was a really nice picture," Alek said.

Atton glared at him. "I'm not obsessed. It's just the right thing to do, you know? Aren't you trying to convince me that that's what being a Jedi is all about?"

Revan studied Atton for a moment. "You are not going to let this go anytime soon."

"Nope."

He sighed. "I'll talk to Atris."

"Atris?" Alek repeated. "You know she won't be the most receptive."

"No, I figure for that we can just remind the Council about her – chances are they just forgot – and remind them of everyone else they've forgiven who messed up more than she ever did."

"Then why Atris?" Atton asked.

"Because, honestly, it's a big galaxy and who else do you think has probably been keeping creepy tabs on her since she left?"


	11. Chapter 11

_"I don't know if I should hit my head against a wall or just be glad she's gone," Revan announced._

_"Wait, she really went back to the Council?" Malak couldn't believe it. Yes, she had made it very clear she had every intention of doing that once the war was over but it was one thing to say it and another to actually face the music alone._

_"I mean, it's clear she's not thinking clearly," Revan said. "I don't think she even noticed that she's been literally ripped from the Force ever since Malachor and how do you just not notice something like that? Granted it's never happened to me and maybe a random civilian wouldn't notice, I don't know, but you'd think it'd be pretty obvious to a Jedi."_

_"Maybe she thinks that they can fix her," Malak offered._

_Revan snorted. "Yeah, no one can fix that."_

_"You don't know that. The Jedi have all sorts of resources and history to draw on that we've never seen."_

_"Oh, well maybe they can fix her weird Force thing. Not really what I was talking about."_

_"We could go back, you know, after we figure out what's been going on with the Mandalorians and who prompted them to attack," Malak said thoughtfully. "It would be irresponsible of us to just leave the hidden threat the Council were running scared from out there and not investigate but afterwards…"_

_"Afterwards," Revan repeated. "It's too soon to think of an afterwards. But would you want to go back, if they let us and nothing changed?"_

_"I guess I never really thought about not going back," Malak admitted. "I am a Jedi no matter what the Council thinks of my actions."_

_"I'll probably do what you do," Revan decided. "If only because it really doesn't matter and if I don't I'll probably just spend the rest of my life sitting on a beach somewhere. Although, come to think of it, maybe I should just go do that."_

_"You'd hate it."_

_Revan shook his head sadly. "It's almost like we haven't been friends for literally decades at this point. Really Malak, does that sound like something I'd hate?"_

_"All I know is that for someone who just wants to do nothing, you kind of literally defeated Malachor in single combat and helped defeat an invading Force."_

_Revan groaned. "Don't remind me. And we can't even enjoy our victory because now we have to go chasing Sith."_

_"They're probably not Sith."_

_"Agree to disagree," Revan said. "Is it too late to go do what she did and go running to the Jedi Council? They probably wouldn't let me do anything strenuous after what happened."_

_"They'd probably try to get you to bring us back," Malak disagreed. "And either way, would it really be worth dealing with her on the way back? Plus you know the Jedi will never let you hear the end of it for leaving even if you ended up saving the day."_

_Revan sighed. "All I wanted was a lightsaber, the power to do whatever I wanted, and to not actually need to do anything. Why is that so hard for people to grasp?"_

\----

The Exile stepped off the ship and onto Coruscant for the first time in ten years feeling nervous and terrified and so happy she could burst.

It had been a difficult burden to bear when she had realized that she had gone off to war without the Jedi Council's permission (in fact, against their expressed orders) but she couldn't really blame Malak for that. Everyone else it seemed had known the truth so she really could have double-checked before leaving. And he believed so strongly is what they were doing. The sacrifice and the killing and Malachor…the war had ended and so of course she went back. Her reason for leaving had ceased to be. Losing the Force and being cast out had been harder and these ten years she had felt lost everywhere she went.

She had never expected that to change.

But Atris had contacted her with a message about how her exile was being undone and how her presence was requested at the temple on Coruscant. How could she do anything but drop everything and go?

A man came up to her. "You must be the Exile."

She laughed nervously. "Is it that obvious?"

"You just look like your pictures," he said. "Not that I've been staring at pictures of you or anything weird like that. I just happened to see one and it's been a few years but you look the same."

"Jedi usually age well," she said. "It's the connection with the Force, I think. Not that that has had much to do with me for a while and I'm not that old."

"No, of course not. I'm Atton, by the way, and I'm here to take you to see Revan and Alek before meeting with the Council. Well, mostly meeting with Alek but I'm sure Revan will be there," Atton said. He gestured for her to come with him and she fell into step beside him. She knew the temple very well, even after all this time, but without the Force she wouldn't be able to locate her old friends.

"Alek?" the Exile asked blankly. "Oh, did Malak change his name back?"

"He did, actually. Something to do with capture and possible brainwashing and they're really not all that forthcoming about what happened except Revan still holds a bit of a grudge against the Jedi."

The Exile frowned. "That's not very Jedi-like and so unlike him. Still, I suppose as a former Sith it makes sense that he'd still have some difficulties and he can't be perfect in every way! That's just too much pressure."

"Uh…yeah," Atton said, looking faintly bemused. "Something like that. Say, do you know why Alek changed it in the first place?"

The Exile nodded. "Oh, yes. He wanted to go out and help protect people the moment he heard of the Mandalorians attacking. His home world was attacked by Mandalorians a long time ago, you know, leading to his coming to the Republic in the first place. The Jedi Council wisely wanted more information before rushing into what could be a trap but Alek secretly began to fight them and used Malak as an alias."

"Some alias," Atton muttered. "And wait, they wisely wanted to wait? If you think it was so wise why did you go with them later?"

"Everything the Jedi Council does is wise," the Exile explained. "That's why they're the Jedi Council. And I, um, might have thought they changed their mind. But I was wrong." She cleared her throat. "Then when he openly defied the Council and the Jedi tried to have him arrested he started going by Malak all the time both to help him avoid capture and as a form of protest against the Jedi."

Atton shook his head. "Wow, that makes so much more sense and sounds infinitely less stupid than how Revan tells the story."

"Are you a Jedi?" the Exile asked him.

Atton blushed. "Uh, not exactly, no."

"What do you mean not exactly?" she asked. "Are you training to be one?"

Atton shook his head. "No but I have it on good authority I'm Force sensitive and I can't go more than two days without receiving an offer to get training."

"Oh?" the Exile asked, surprised. "Things must have changed a great deal over the years then. Back when I left, if you were six you were too old for training."

"Yeah, that kind of went out the window, especially when the Jedi finally realized all that policy did was send everyone they missed or wouldn't take over to the Sith and maybe they'd end up a Jedi anyway if they repented," Atton said. "But lots of things have changed. Ever since Revan and Bastila got together, for example, everyone has started openly dating and the Council finally decided to just go with it last week. So you could totally date people if you wanted to. Just throwing that out there. For reasons."

The Exile smiled at him. "It's so sweet of you to want me to be aware of my rights but I'm not a Jedi. I think you should consider being one, though. It's the greatest thing that ever happened to me."

"You got cut off from the Force and exiled for ten years."

"That was incidental," the Exile said. "And not because I was a Jedi but because of my choices. Had I been a Republic soldier and disobeyed them so severely my punishment would likely have been worse. Not that I'd have been punished for going off to war against the Mandalorians but you know what I mean."

"I'll, uh, definitely think about it," Atton told her, smiling back at her.

The Exile didn't even realize that she had reached Revan and Malak – no, Alek – until Alek cleared his throat. "It's good to see you again, Exile."

The Exile's eyes widened. "Alek! Your jaw!"

He smiled. "I've gotten that a lot over the years. Not lately, though."

"I'm so happy for you! I thought nothing could be done!"

"We still don't know what was done, exactly," Revan said. "Just more of the Jedi holding out on us. But I guess they usually pull through in a pinch and if they couldn't give him a jaw that whole 'he's definitely not Darth Malak' thing never would have gotten off the ground and poor Bastila might have snapped and fallen whether I was interested in helping that process along or not."

"Bastila fell?"

Alek shook his head. "No but she was captured for a while. She's fine, don't worry about it."

"Atton said you wanted to meet with me before I met with the Council," the Exile told them.

"Well, Alek did at any rate," Revan said.

The Exile focused her attention on him. "Why?"

"I just want to know what you understand about what's happening," Alek said.

"I know that Atris told me I was un-exiled and the Council wanted to see me," the Exile said.

"That's it?" Revan asked.

"Well they didn't explain their reasoning, no," the Exile admitted. "But I assumed they would – if they felt like it – at the meeting."

"Their reasoning was Atton saw your picture and he thought-" Revan started to say.

"That it was such a sad story and everyone else was forgiven for their part in defying the Jedi, even though all of them became Sith, so it was a shame if you weren't given that opportunity, too," Atton said quickly.

The Exile sent him a startled smile. "Oh did you? That is just remarkable. Thank you!"

Atton grinned back. "It was nothing, really."

"Has he already told you Jedi can date now?" Revan asked innocently.

The Exile nodded. "He did mention that, yes, though I don't know why that keeps coming up."

"If you don't figure it out eventually, I'm sure someone will tell you," Revan said.

"Now that you're being welcomed back into the fold, I assume you're going to want to be a Jedi again like we all became," Alek said.

The Exile shook her head. "Oh no, I couldn't."

"Why not?" Revan asked. "And don't give me any crap about not being worthy. You're fine."

"It's not that," the Exile said awkwardly. "It's just…the Jedi cut me off from the Force before they exiled me. I don't know if they have any plans of reversing that and until they do I literally can't be a Jedi again."

"I'm sure they wouldn't have called you back here if they weren't going to," Atton said encouragingly.

"I can't even," Revan said. "All this time and she still doesn't…You tell her, Alek."

"Tell me what?"

"The Jedi didn't cut you off from the Force," Alek said.

The Exile blinked. "But…they did. I know they did."

"You must have been in too much pain to realize it at the time," Alek said slowly. "But you haven't been connected to the Force since Malachor. I don't know if you did it yourself to survive what happened or if it was done to you through all the death or any of the details and I can't imagine the Jedi knew either. It's just unheard of. That may be part of why they exiled you. They couldn't afford to deal with whatever had happened to you while also dealing with Revan and I."

"I…they never said anything about that," the Exile said, shaking her head vaguely. "But then, I suppose they never said they were cutting me off, either. They must have thought I knew more about it than they did and I never said anything about believing they cut me off so they couldn't have known." She swallowed painfully.

"Hey, this is good news, isn't it?" Atton asked, moving quickly to her side. "If the Jedi didn't do this to you then they don't want this done and we can fix this."

"But I don't know how. If they didn't do it they might not be able to reverse it. If they were to offer me the chance to be a Jedi again, to have all I ever wanted again, and I can't because the Force is gone…what am I even if I don't have the Force? Even the most Force-deaf of all creatures are still connected. But not me. I'm like the walking dead or something." She could feel herself start to get hysterical.

Atton turned to Revan. "Do something!"

"Me?" Revan asked. "Like what?"

"I don't know, can't you restore her connection to the Force or something?"

Revan shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

"Then try!"

Revan hesitated. "But I don't really-"

"Revan?" Alek asked.

"Yeah?"

"Odds on her sticking around until the Jedi work this one out?"

"You make a compelling argument," Revan said. He stood in front of the Exile. "This should work; we have a Force bond and it may actually come in handy for once. Look at me. Open your mind. You've felt it all before, everywhere around you. Remember the currents, the eddies. Listen to the echo of your thoughts, of your heart - separated from war, separated from hate. Think of what you felt when you felt the need to protect the innocent people of the Republic. And at last, Exile...awaken."

"Um, I'm not really sure that's going to do much go-" Atton started to say.

"It's a miracle!" the Exile exclaimed. It was impossible to explain. She had thought she had remember what it was like but she hadn't, not really. How did one remember something such as this, even if they had felt it their whole life? Perhaps she had forgotten to protect herself. It was like being alive again after so long of only pretending. "I can feel the Force again! I can really truly feel it!"

"Seriously?" Atton couldn't believe it. "Ten years gone and that's all it takes?"

"Don't question these things," Alek advised. "It'll save you a lot of trouble."

"So now are you going to go off and be a Jedi?" Revan asked.

The Exile nodded resolutely. "If they will have me, certainly. And if not then I have the Force and I have the Republic and I will find a way to do good."

"I just bet you will," Revan said.

"You should train me," Atton blurted out.

Alek raised an eyebrow at him. "Really, Atton?"

Atton crossed his arms defiantly. "Yes, really. The Exile has inspired me to become a Jedi."

"The Exile being someone you have an inexplicable thing for and who has just shown you how easy it is to get in touch with the Force, though actual training is a bit of work, finally convinced you," Revan corrected.

"Oh, Atton, I'm sorry but I can't just yet!" the Exile exclaimed, feeling truly sorry. "I need to go and see if I'm even allowed to be a Jedi again. It all seems too much to hope for but, well, I'm here aren't I? Maybe today's a good day for hope."

"I think it is," Atton agreed, smiling again.

"When he's gone, he's gone," Alek marveled.

"I will never understand it."

"There's someone for everyone," Alek said.

"But they have nothing in common and they're so different," Revan protested.

"Want to do a comparison of you and Bastila?" Alek asked.

"That's nowhere near as weird," Revan said.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to disagree with you there," Alek said.

"Revan, seriously, I have no idea how to thank you for this," the Exile said earnestly. "You can't possibly understand what this means to me. I mean, you use the Force all the time so maybe you could have some idea but living without the Force…it's just not living. And you gave it back to me so selflessly. You are a great man and I am forever in your debt."

Revan shifted uncomfortably. "Um, you're welcome."

"So now that you're not an exile anymore, regardless of whether you can be a Jedi or not, and you've regained your connection to the Force do you think you can tell me your name?" Atton asked eagerly.

The Exile paused. She had given up her name, had it taken really, such a long time ago and no matter how many odd looks she had gotten when she had introduced herself as the Exile she had never tried to escape the stigma of what she had done, what she was. But if she wasn't an exile anymore then did she really need to keep bearing that burden? Could she possibly go back?

Misunderstanding her silence, Atton said, "I mean, I've tried to find out on my own but nobody really wanted to talk about it. Everyone kept calling you the Exile and I think Revan and Alek found it funny not to tell me."

"Oh so very funny," Alek confirmed.

"Well, alright," the Exile said slowly. "I haven't said it, not once, or even heard it in ten years. There's been nobody there who knew my name and it's not as though I was making friends as I wandered eternally anyway."

"So overly dramatic…" Revan murmured.

"My name..." The Exile took a deep breath. This was it. There was no going back once the words passed her lips.

Atton smiled encouragingly at her.

"My name is Anika."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know canonically the Exile's name is Meetra Surik. I don't like that name and I had my own name for her years before this was revealed.

_Alek tripped right before he would have stepped on the boy lying on the grass and somehow managed to not land on him. "Ow."_

_"You should be more careful," the boy remarked._

_"Me?" Alek couldn't believe it. He climbed to his feet. "What about you?"_

_"What about me? I'm not the one who fell."_

_"I almost stepped on you!"_

_"Everyone almost steps on me," the boy said, sounding quite bored. "And they never do. I'd say it was some sort of conspiracy if I wasn't quite sure it was just the Force."_

_"The Force?" Alek had two choices here and one of them looked like it was going to take a while so he plopped down beside the boy. "Why would the Force personally step in to make sure you don't get stepped on?"_

_The boy shrugged. "I don't know. But it does seem statistically unlikely for things like that to keep happening just so I don't get injured by not paying attention or not being bothered to move out of the way."_

_"Who are you?" Alek asked._

_"I'm Revan," Revan introduced._

_Alek waited._

_Revan closed his eyes._

_"Aren't you going to ask who I am?"_

_"I wasn't planning on it," Revan said truthfully._

_"Why not?"_

_"I didn't really care," Revan said._

_Alek had never heard of anything like that. "That is so rude!"_

_"I can't help whether I care about something or not," Revan protested. "But fine, if you're going to make such a big thing about it why don't you tell me who you are."_

_"I'm Alek," Alek said. He still didn't really accept that his village was a part of his name and it was apparently a difficult name for people to say so best not to get into it._

_"Okay then." Revan lapsed into silence._

_After a few moments, Alek said, "Is there something seriously wrong with you?"_

_"I don't think so, no," Revan said. "But opinions on that do vary. You can ask the masters about it if you want."_

_"I only met you like two minutes ago so I could be way off base here but you seem just really, really lazy," Alek said. "Like abnormally so."_

_"I'm not lazy," Revan argued._

_Alek raised an eyebrow skeptically at him. "You're not?"_

_"I prefer the term 'apathetic.' Lazy is just such a negative word and apathetic, while not great, is much more neutral," Revan explained._

_Alek had no idea why he was still sitting here. He should really just go. "Why are you so apathetic?"_

_"If I knew that…" Revan trailed off. "Not that I've put a lot of effort into figuring it out, mind you. That's just a lot of work."_

_"It really isn't. It's just thinking."_

_"Agree to disagree," Revan said, yawning. "I just don't see things as that big of a deal. I'm usually fine and I don't want to be bothered. Is that too much to ask?"_

_"Probably, yeah," Alek said. "At least to the extreme you seem to be talking about. And how can you be a Jedi if you just can't be bothered?"_

_"I actually didn't want to be one initially," Revan said._

_Big surprise there._

_"But apparently I was really strong in the Force so Master Vrook took me aside and showed me his lightsaber and explained that technically I'd be supported by other people's rewards and by taxes so I wouldn't have to work to survive and he really made me appreciate the idea of a Jedi Knight, if not so much the work," Revan explained. "What can I say? I was five and that sounded like fun."_

_"You're really weird," Alek said bluntly._

_"Well I'm not moving. If you don't like it you can sit in silence or just go," Revan offered._

_Alek had told himself to just leave half a dozen times already. He had places to be and things to do and Revan might be talented enough to just not bother (for now at least. Surely raw talent and some potential Force favoritism couldn't carry him forever) but he wasn't. He had talent, too, but he had to work at it. He didn't need this._

_"In a minute," he said and didn't get up for the rest of the afternoon._

\----

"I'm just saying, you keep avoiding the question and it's just a little bit suspicious," Alek said bluntly.

"Suspicious?" Revan asked. "What's suspicious? Maybe you're suspicious!"

"This isn't a case of their only being allowed to be one suspicious thing in the galaxy," Alek said. "Just answer the question."

Revan stubbornly crossed his arms. "I don't remember any question."

"You know that the longer you refuse to answer the more I'm pretty sure I know what the answer is, right?" Alek asked rhetorically.

"If that's the case then why do you have to ask me at all?" Revan asked. "Take your implied answer and be done with it."

"You know me, Revan," Alek drawled. "I do so hate to do things the easy way. What do you think would have happened if things had worked out the way they would have if you hadn't been so against the idea of walking over to your ship and you had been the one to face the Jedi? I would have fired on you entirely on purpose and you probably would have been captured by the Jedi. Would you have returned to the light side, as I did? Would you have been able to save me like I did you?"

"I mean, it's really not a comparable situation," Revan said, clearly stalling.

"It is the most perfect comparison I've ever seen," Alek countered. "It very easily could have been you. It was supposed to have been you. There even would have been the firing on the ship. If you had been captured, what do you think would have happened?"

"I'm not psychic."

"I didn't ask for an accurate and provable future," Alek said. "Come on, Revan. Don't be difficult."

"I haven't already been difficult?"

"No changing the subject," Alek said. "Don't keep being difficult."

Revan sighed. "You're not going to like it."

"I've managed to pick up on that, funnily enough," Alek said.

"I mean, I kind of doubt they'd be able to turn me light sided," Revan said.

"Really? But you weren't as dark as I was and they did it to me."

"Yes but I'm more resistant to these things than you are, probably because it's all just details really and I'm going to do what I do regardless," Revan said.

"Would that stand up to a mind wipe, though?"

"My basic apathy? Probably. My memory? Who can say? If I had my memory it wouldn't work but I might go along on your stupid little scavenger hunt anyway to make things easier. If I didn't have my memory I can't imagine I'd be any more motivated than I normally am so I might not know I was ever a Sith but I doubt I'd be particularly light sided, either."

"That does make sense," Alek admitted. "And me?"

Revan looked pointedly down at his shoes.

"Come on!"

"It's just…" Revan sighed. "I've never once tried to hurt you. Not once. And I may have gotten all the credit but we both know you were mostly waging that war with plenty of advice from me. And you would have tried to kill me?"

"I thought you said you didn't care," Alek said, shifting uncomfortably.

"I said that I can afford to be magnanimous," Revan corrected. "And I can. After all, it didn't happen to me and I ended up accidentally doing it to you. If you had died I don't think all 'whoops, I didn't mean to's in the world would have been made a difference. Say you tried to kill me and got me captured by the Jedi who may or may not have succeeded in destroying my identity but certainly would have tried. And I had done nothing to you. Now, I do understand why you would have done it. But just remembering how furious I was when that happened to you…"

Alek shuddered. "I remember."

"So knowing that had happened to me because of you, because you couldn't stand for people to like me better than you and just for the evils, you were then chasing me around the galaxy. Say I got captured the way you did and tortured. Say Bastila was captured although I have no reason to think she would be. I love her, Alek. You know that. And that's with our history. If we had a Force bond and were travelling around together for months I can't imagine feeling any differently. You'd have broken her or killed her trying. And I've never had the best track record when it comes to redemptions. I can look people in the eye and tell them not to be evil but I don't really understand the light and dark side of the Force. Everyone else does but to me it's all meaningless so I can't really understand. That combined with how I'd probably be feeling and I would have killed you."

Alek nodded slowly, unable to meet Revan's eyes. "Well at least you're honest."

"For what it's worth," Revan said gently. "You are my best friend and I chased you halfway across the galaxy trying to bring you back in a way I didn't think would drive you mad. I'm glad it didn't work out that way and I'm not particularly proud of myself for not thinking I would save you."

"If it happened like you said, I wouldn't have deserved it," Alek offered. "I remember I tried to kill you and I remember why but I still can't even believe I would have done that. Not to you. Anyone else but you."

Revan sighed. "Those are the perils of the dark side, I'm afraid. I knew that much, at least, and in this hypothetical scenario I really should have been more understanding and still tried. You tried so hard to reach me even though I was making no effort of my own and might very well have just died there if you hadn't."

"Despite what I say, you're really not so lazy as to just sit there while the station you're on explodes."

Revan shrugged. "I guess we'll never know."

"Enough worrying about hypothetical universes and how this is the best of all possible worlds," Alek said forcefully.

"You're the one who brought it up," Revan protested. "And just kept bringing it up no matter how many times I tried to dodge the issue!"

"And now I'm un-bringing it up," Alek said. "Unless you'd like to continue discussing it?"

Revan quickly shook his head. "I'm good."

"Instead of any of that, we're both fine," Alek reminded him. "We're both not evil and we didn't really get any comeuppance for conquering half the Republic. The Jedi believe us about the True Sith and we're all trying to prepare. And I even have my jaw back! That's much better than I thought it would be after what happened."

"I can't believe you went around telling everybody I cut it off because you challenged me or thought I was soft or something like that," Revan said, rolling his eyes.

"I never said anything of the sort!" Alek protested. "Although it is a perfectly suitable Sith cover story and better than what really happened. But I refused to tell anyone anything because it was none of their business and it's not like I would have told them a story where you kicked my ass so thoroughly!"

"I guess it's a bit more believable than what really did happen," Revan mused. "Hey, now that your jaw is back am I allowed to call you an idiot for what happened? Apparently it was 'insensitive' before."

"You should probably still not mention it," Alek said. "I'd really hate for it to get out."

"So would I in your shoes," Revan said. "Imagine, most people think that I did it and even those who know that that's complete nonsense still think it was something a little less pathetic than you holding your lightsaber the wrong way when you were igniting it."

Alek immediately looked around to see if anyone else was present. They weren't. "Leave me alone, I was really sick. I ended up being laid up for a week."

"Yeah, after the accidental amputation," Revan said. "And I told you that you were sick and really shouldn't be training but did you listen?"

"I needed to get stronger."

"And all you managed that day was a spot of self-mutilation," Revan pointed out.

"Don't rub a guy's face in it when he's down," Alek said, frowning.

"See, that's what you said then but now you have your jaw back so I think this is fair game again."

"I still had to live without it for several years."

"Yeah, and whose fault is that?" Revan asked rhetorically. "I mean, really."

"That's one of the other reasons I wanted to kill you," Alek announced. "I could tell you were secretly laughing at me. AND you told that story to HK and he openly laughed at me."

"HK does like you, you know. I know you don't believe it but he does."

"So he wasn't laughing at me?" Alek asked skeptically.

"No, he was. He just also likes you."

"He calls me a meatbag!" Alek was starting to accept that he would never, ever be over that.

"He calls everyone that," Revan said dismissively.

"Only after you programmed him to," Alek pointed out.

"Only because he didn't use the term before but he still thought of humans – except me – as bags of meat and you just happened to be the first one who asked," Revan said. "But you are right."

"You were laughing at me?"

Revan coughed. "I mean right about how this is a pretty good world. Bastila and I have made it three years together and we're still going strong. We might even make it, who knows?"

"Forget Atton and Anika, you two are still the weirdest couple I've ever seen."

"No, let's not just forget Atton and Anika," Revan disagreed. "And I'm not just saying that because there's nothing weird about Bastila and I. He got obsessed with her after just seeing one picture of her-"

"I think he went looking for more. Strange he could find those but not her name."

"Bet he got most of those from Atris," Revan said. "He used to torture Jedi until they were Sith and, since he was working for us, I feel we really shouldn't judge him for this. He's had this long-standing thing about the Jedi which doesn't really seem fair, despite their many, many failings and now he's over it? He refused every offer to be trained and then outright asked her to train him?"

"Love's just funny like that, I guess," Alek said shrugging.

"He hadn't even met her when he threw that huge fit about getting her back," Revan argued. "And don't tell me he'd have done it because it was the right thing to do because Atton is hardly Carth. And then he wanted her to make him a Jedi within an hour of meeting her. That's not love."

"You don't believe in love at first sight?"

"No," Revan said.

Alek shrugged. "It doesn't matter one way or the other to me. But they're very happy together now, you have to admit."

"I do," Revan conceded. "But it's far strange than me and Bastila."

"You literally held her prisoner and she wanted to kill you and you two were enemies," Alek said.

Revan made a face. "See, when you say it like that it sounds a bit odd."

"Say it like what? The way it actually happened?" Alek asked rhetorically.

"It went as un-awkwardly as it possibly could have under the circumstances," Revan said. "And she escaped still hating me, though thinking me a bit less evil and more ridiculous, as when she captured herself. It took ages before we'd reached what I'd call friendly and she'd call friends."

"And so everything works out," Alek said. "Do you remember how convinced I used to be that we could never go back?"

Revan nodded. "You were quite annoying about it, too."

Alek glared at him. "Excuse me for finding the idea of having turned my back on everything I loved forever in order to protect it a bit upsetting!"

"Yeah, except remember how that turned out not to be the case?" Revan asked pointedly. "Because now we're here and things are excellent? Canderous even went off to go be Mandalore and he seems to be having fun with that. He's giving me a bit too much credit with the whole 'choosing him to be the next Mandalore and to lead his people into this new age' thing. I just gave him that old helmet we had when he wouldn't stop staring at it."

"That old helmet did come from the previous Mandalore," Alek pointed out.

Revan shrugged. "Huh. So it did. Honestly, though, I'm not surprised it worked out this way."

"You're not?" Alek asked skeptically. "It's all a bit unlikely."

"Oh, the details, sure but it's all just details."

Alek rolled his eyes. "Everything is just details to you, Revan!"

Revan thought about it. "Yes."

Alek just sighed. "Go on."

"Maybe I'm surprised about the way that it all worked out as far as where we all ended up and who ended up in our lives but a happy ending?" Revan asked. "Insofar as this is an ending and it's really not because you and me are going to live for another century or so."

"You just decided that?"

"Nah, I decided that ages ago when you kept saying you'd leave and didn't."

Alek swallowed past the lump in his throat.

"Of course we'd get a happy not an ending," Revan said, seemingly oblivious. "The Force loves us, after all. How could it be any different?"

"The Force loves you," Alek corrected him. If there was one truth he had learned over the years it was that the Force loved Revan with everything it had and that Revan was just as annoyed as he was pleased by that.

"And you're my best friend," Revan said. "Of course it would work out this way. Just see if Bastila doesn't end up doing perfectly wonderful as well."

Revan sounded so sure but then he usually did. It was only when Alek didn't know him that Revan had ever shown any sort of uncertainty and, looking back, Alek wasn't sure he'd have managed the situation better. And that was even if he wanted to and Force knew Malak didn't. Who could blame him for retiring the name?

But it didn't matter. Revan was right about that much. Their lives here and now were good and worthwhile and if they had come so close to missing out on all of it…well what did it matter? They hadn't and they wouldn't and that was that.

He and Revan simply wouldn't let it end any other way.

The End


End file.
